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How do I talk to my kids about sex?

50 Answers
Last Updated: 05/07/2018 at 10:17am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Lisa Meighan, MSc Psychology


Hello, I am Lisa and I work in a person-centred approach mixed with cognitive behavioural therapy. I believe we all have the potential to be the best we can be.

Top Rated Answers
November 15th, 2014 3:23am
Personally, I would be as honest (scientifically speaking) as I can without going into too much detail. When you make it more scientific, it takes some of that embarassment away about trying to find the right words
May 15th, 2016 4:19pm
I love this question. I was talking to my friend about how I am so straight forward to my daughter about sex. She is 12 years old but I tell her straight out and up what sex is all about. I would rather me tell her than her "friends"to tell her. I don't understand how some parents can be afraid to talk to them about it. I wish someone had talked to me the way I am and do talk to my daughter. I kept saying in my head, "this is my daughter and I love her, I will tell her the truth no matter what"because if they find out you lied about anything, it will hurt them in the long run! I hope you have talked to them because it's better coming from you then someone else :)
November 20th, 2014 8:14am
Just be normal and speak to them in a way thats informative and no gigglish or odd comments about birds and bees...
December 4th, 2014 11:26am
My Mother did this to my sister's and I in a very awkward manner, but I accepted the way that she did it because it could have been much worse. She sat us down and she said, "I know you're getting to the age where you are interested in boys, but please know that if your temptations lead to having intercourse, which is letting the boy stick his privates in your privates, know that you can get pregnant and have a baby at a very young age, or get a disease. Please educate yourselves of what could happen, ask me anything.'
December 27th, 2014 11:38am
Sex is a topic as any other, you shouldn't worry about how to talk with them about it, just make sure they understand the important things such as using a condom. Kids have internet nowadays so they can and probabil will /already looked upon this area of interest in there.
June 1st, 2016 3:01am
Put it in terms that they can understand, but be honest. When explaining be sure to keep it together as best as you can, by becoming uncomfortable or embarrassed you may make them feel as though these acts are shameful, which we know they are not. Good luck!
November 27th, 2014 9:38pm
Well, the ideal atmosphere would be sometime when you are feeling patient, relaxed and calm. The topic should be treated with maturity and sensibility, as the kids may get a wrong impression. You could get a book's support and just let them know sex is something natural, nothing to be ashamed of but at the same time, you gotta warn them about the risks.
December 8th, 2014 8:56pm
you sit down and explain to them how birth come about there the seaman and ovaries and from the explanation of birth you easy your way into sex.
December 17th, 2014 6:33am
well kids now a days have the internet and they find out about it from somewhere or the other, but its your duty to explain the details. You can call your kid and ask him if he knows what is sex,etc that should get everything started
December 18th, 2014 8:01pm
consider the age. i always tell young parents to consider the age of the child before they talk to them about things. these are kids. they'll make fun of things that are new to them so, yeah.
December 30th, 2014 11:18pm
Depending on there age you have to tell them the truth don't sugar cot it too much you may be surprised how little they know about it
Anonymous - Expert in Parenting
June 3rd, 2015 9:25pm
It never hurts to surf the web to find ideas about how to make the talk more comfortable for both you and your kids. There are tons of information out there to help you!
August 11th, 2015 5:48am
First, make sure they are at an age where they can understand what you are explaining. Then, come straight out with it. Let them ask questions also. Just try to make it not as awkward as possible.
December 28th, 2015 9:43am
its a fact of life, and it must be taking safely and with care otherwise the concecences can be life changing
January 20th, 2016 9:16pm
Be open and honest with them. Sex is natural but let them know about the safety of it and age concerns, and perhaps why there are limitations such as the legal age. Being open and honest gives children the freedom to explore you with further questions and will allow for a better relationship with yourself to bloom.
January 22nd, 2016 8:31am
It is easy because they trust you. use their trust and your love to them. highlights the points. however it may be a difficult moment for you. take heart and be honest.
February 4th, 2016 7:02am
Tell your children that sex is a natural function and without sex they wouldn't be here but be sure that u tell them that sex isn't a good thing for young children to be doing
February 5th, 2016 7:35pm
Don't make it a big fancy talk. Instead over time deposit little tidbits of information over time. Also try to listen and understand where your kids are coming from.
February 10th, 2016 5:32pm
Read them a book about sex, or show them a suitable documentary on it. Maybe create a presentation for them to look through.
February 12th, 2016 3:13am
Ask about any relationships they have been in and ask if they have had sex before. you must start slowly to make sure they are fine with what is going on and if they are not then try approaching it from another way.
March 19th, 2016 6:35am
Well at young age you should not tell them till there 9-13 depending on maturity and look them straight in the eyes and tell them but also warn them that pregnancy can happen if not careful.
March 30th, 2016 1:14pm
Talk openly and honestly. This is not something that needs to be done hidden in the bedroom. You do not have give them all the details. Just break the ice and answer the questions. If you do not know the answer look it up online find the site that is appropriate, and then have your child look at it with you. If you keep it open, it feels less like a secret which means they can come to you with questions. In the long scheme of things, education gives them the ability to make decisions confidently.
March 31st, 2016 6:38pm
Honestly. Candidly. Make sure they know the risks to their mental and physical health if they decide to have sex. Make sure the understand that they're affecting the mental and physical health of another human being. Make sure they understand that once they do something, it can't be taken back. Irresponsibility can cause a lifetime of hardship, heartache, and pain for more than just you. It's not just a hookup.
April 7th, 2016 6:13am
There is always a time and an age to talk about the topic of sex to your kids. If your kids are young it will be good to explain to them in their language and understanding compared to when your child is all grown up.
April 17th, 2016 1:51am
Have little talks and lessons here and there with your child. Your child will be ready to learn at age nine or older.
April 28th, 2016 2:13pm
For me Its a way of living .. Live respect fully towards your partner so the kids will experience the beauty of it from very early years. I try to Never make sex dirty but keep boundaries for letting them know its health and part of nature to reproduce .. This all make talking to them so mush easier . I try to be as open as posable and answer the questions stight. They are 10agers they will know when you lie.. They are not stupid and to be honest mothers must never sound stupid !!
May 5th, 2016 12:11pm
You can talk to them if they are on their right age especially on puberty. You can suggestively talk about it and they will engage to listen more.
May 13th, 2016 3:14pm
It really depends on their age. If they're around twelve years old then maybe just keeping it simple or telling them what you think is important. If they're a teenager then I assure you either they know or they'll find out themselves. But when you think they're ready to know all about the birds and the bees then just give it to them straight. No need to beat around the bush. It may be awkward but if it's necessary it'll work itself out.
May 21st, 2016 8:05pm
There is no ‘perfect’ way tackle this topic. We all vary in how to approach it, influenced by past and present experiences of sex education and interpersonal relationships; plus our faith/ politics/ personal values. It’s normal your child/ teen might not always want to talk when you do. Often they want simple answers to questions (particularly younger children). Let them know you’ll be there to listen if they want to ask you anything – but don’t assume if they have a question they’ll always ask. You’ll need to raise issues as they may not feel able to do so, or may have heard things in the schoolyard that aren’t always helpful and you’ll need to clarify.
May 22nd, 2016 11:49am
Be sure you understand their questions correctly and then answer them biologically correct. If you don't know the answer, say "I have to look that up". If it's a question about morals and values, paraphrase the questions and ask them to think about it.