How do you keep your teenage child from hating everything that you do for him?
Last Updated: 07/12/2021 at 7:49pm
Meredith Seltzer, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
The therapeutic relationship can assist you in accomplishing your goals and clarifying your wants and needs. As a skilled counselor and therapist I will help you along the way
Top Rated Answers
Teenagers are at a point in their lives where they want to assert their independece. He may feel smothered by what you do or how you do it for him. You can not longer treat your teenager like a child or he will resent it. If he makes it clear he no longer wants you to make his bed for him (doubtful), then don't do it. Your task is to encourage independence, not discourage it. Understand that on some level you may be grieving the "loss" of your child, but handled properly, you can enjoy a lifelong friendship with your adult child.
Make sure you reach him on his level and not yours. Teenagers sometimes need to try things themselves to appreciate what they got. Also they have a lot going on in their minds so give him space! Sometimes teenagers just want to be rebellious because they feel a sense of no limitations. Sometimes they want to be independent and that's were you should let them make mistakes, so the know consequences of their choices
I have struggled with this situation for a while and I have received a lot of recommendations and tips from some friends here. I am happy to say that my teenage son is talking to me now and not hating everything that I do for him. All i did was to stop treating him like my baby and gave him some freedom on making certain decisions. That's working so far.
Currently in my house, I have 2 teenagers and a pre-teen so this house if filled all stages of puberty so I really get this question. I ask myself this question a lot. In my experience, my kids have gone through a phase where they did not like me touching them or doing anything for them at at all. For our family, this was during the middle stages of puberty. I am finding that even though it breaks my heart, I must give them space to become an individual. They do come back to you in the later stages of puberty but right now, they think they are independent but they are not. Give them space and a chance to help make decisions, but always ask for respect in return. Work through it together where you are both showing kindness and respect.
What if you asked them where is the median? Or try to find some sort of middle ground. There has to be something that they don't hate that you do for them, right?
Provide times to talk about those things that he hate and not, asking him how can I express my affection to him. Spending more time with him if he like to, doing things that he loves together with him (i.e. paling online games, watching movies, etc.) -but most of all: communicate.
Being teenager, i have this to a parent. What got me to stop disliking everything about my parent or what they did- is they pulled back for a bit, and waited me to need them again. They waited for me to come them when i finnaly realized that i needed someone talk to and help me.
Nothing. Plain and simple. Teenagers do not want your help for anything. Sometimes they do need to fail before understanding that you do know a thing or two.
Teenage hood is the hardest times for parents, this is because this is your child's rebellious phase. Anything you do will be wrong to them and they will rebel alot. Just remember that you have been there once and what would u have done if you were your own parent.
talk to them about why they hate everything you do for them, maybe there is some reason. maybe it isn't you, maybe they're just going through some things. they may not be aware.
Teenage years can be really hard. There are so many emotions happening all at once. From my perspective, it's always good to allow your teen to gain some independence and do things on their own. If they are upset that you are doing things, they may be looking to spread their wings a little. Sitting down and having an open conversation about expectations, goals, and boundaries is important. You can talk through the situations that are happening calmly and decide how best to give them some responsibility that is appropriate for their age and maturity level. Teaching them communication skills during this time would be important.
First of all, reaching out to find answers to help your child is a sign of good parenting. Be easy on yourself, parenting can be very stressful and energy consuming. Try not to take it personally because it may not be intended to hurt you or frustrate you. Teenage years are scary because of all the changes they are experiencing. Puberty brings on physical bodily changes and changing social dynamics such as "trying to fit in". Teenagers may be very emotional when trying to make sense of all these new changes and experiences. The process of becoming an adult by moving through the teenage years can be difficult for any child. Again, be patient and keep searching for answers. Be safe and take care.
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