Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How is parenting different for gay and lesbian couples?

14 Answers
Last Updated: 07/09/2018 at 10:58am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
November 20th, 2014 10:04pm
I dont believe there is a difference. Showing the child you love them and care for them is going to be the same whether you are a straight couple or gay/lesbian couple. Love is love and even though society may think its wrong, society doesnt know you and the love you will have for that child
November 9th, 2014 12:39pm
it is as different as you make it to be. they are no different,they are normal and so your parenting should not change. Well being more supportive and open can never hurt
November 28th, 2014 10:17pm
It is different because instead of the conventional mother and father, you have 2 fathers, or 2 mothers. People from an outside perspective may look at it as wrong, however pay no attention to them. Show your child they just as much love and support from the 2 of you as any other family, teach them that being different is okay, and those other people don't believe in difference and that is why they look down on your choices. If the world was all the same, it would be a very boring place, that is the beauty of it all the fact that we can choose our own paths and beliefs, we are our own people, and only we can make ourselves happy which radiates to those close to us to join in on our happiness. Hope this helps!
December 4th, 2014 11:28am
It's not any different than straight couples! Just because they're gay doesn't mean they don't know how to parent or co-parent. We all have parental instincts!
December 8th, 2014 2:18pm
You have to realize that in a regular relationship and marriage is woman and man, both have different roles. Man takes normally place as the head of the family, the hard working one and the strict one. Woman is more at home, cooking and celaning and normally woman is the one who knows everything about her children. That way her their kids go more often to their mother ask for her opinion or to tell her about a problem they have and then woman is usually the one who tells the more dominant one, the man, about the problem. In gay marriage, one of the pair tend to act more as the women. That way he thinks he is not the head here. In lesbian one women in the pair tend to act more manly and sometimes even mirror it on the physical side. But the fact is that even if a gay acts as woman or lesbian as a man, they can never fully stand in the place as in a normal family. On the other hand gay marriage and lesbian marriage tend to stay stronger for a longer time than normal relationship between woman and a man thanks to lower difference between the pair. My opinion is, that the difference between gay and lesbian couples isn't big, only , by my personal expierience, lesbian pair tend to be more dominant and act more "manly".
December 21st, 2014 7:04pm
i don't believe that there's a difference. both parents love their kids and that's all that matters. a family doesn't have to be composed of a mother and father. it can be a mama and mommy or papa and daddy. it's how you raise the child that makes the difference.
December 28th, 2014 5:26pm
there is no different in parenting between gay, lesbian, straight, biracial, etc...couples. Parenting is parenting.
November 9th, 2015 10:44am
It's tough when you find yourself in a position where a son or daughter asks for the opposing sex which you are not. It happens at times but can be handled with patience & kindness,
January 18th, 2016 9:31am
Its just about the mind set how parents look at the situation and how free minded they are and support them
February 22nd, 2016 4:24am
This is fairly simple. The answer is: It isn't. Why would you think their parenting experiences would differ just because of their genders?
August 22nd, 2016 3:17am
Right now there's definitely a stigma against gay or lesbian parents; especially when it comes to whether or not they could "raise" a child since there's not a "father" or "mother" figure- where in reality they are just trying to enforce gender roles and heteronormativity. But for the parents themselves, they'll have to explain why they aren't like other parents and why some people are so negative to them, other than that there might not be much difference.
- Expert in Parenting
October 4th, 2016 1:49pm
It's not at all, except if it was a gay couple instead of breast milk the child would get baby powder
December 18th, 2016 4:53pm
There no difference between them. We all interiorise the pattern of relationships that we live. So if parents give love and be consistent to their children it doesn't matter what kind of couple that you are. If your children experience real love and respect , nobody won't see any difference.
July 9th, 2018 10:58am
Basically parenting is parenting and the same issues will arise except for specific question that has to do with sexuality and society.