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I'm a new parent, how can I keep my cool when my infant won't stop crying?

26 Answers
Last Updated: 11/17/2020 at 4:38am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Danielle Gonzales, PsyD


Hello! My name is Dani, I am a Psychologist and registered Psych Assistant. I have a passion for helping a different types of clients from all diverse backgrounds!

Top Rated Answers
December 24th, 2014 10:15am
New born infant often seeks close physical contact with the mother. Crying could be one indication of demanding mother's touch. You may therefore consider holding the baby in your arms, closer to your chest when it cries in order to avoid it from weeping constantly.
November 13th, 2014 11:49pm
Take a deep breath, and remember that this is an experience that nearly every new parent has. If you have made sure that they are clean, fed and comfortable, sometimes the best thing you can do is sit with them in a rocking chair and rock with them until they relax.
December 6th, 2014 12:45pm
Crying is reflect action. Infants cry when s/he wants attentions, or uncomfortable. Check whether your child has stomach ache, may be hungry or may be infant is seeking your attention. If crying often and not able to figure out, consult pediatrician.
December 17th, 2014 4:13pm
Make sure the child is not hungry or needing something. Don't stress. Babies cry, this is natural. Take care of yourself so you can care for the child. And if you think there is something wrong, please visit the pediatrician.
December 29th, 2014 4:45am
Simply don't panic. Babies will cry. I recommend you try to go through a check list of what could be wrong 1. diaper 2. Hungry? 3. tired
May 30th, 2015 4:32am
Try taking breaks if the crying becomes to overwhelming, even if you have to the leave the infant in a crib for five minutes it will help keep your cool. Also find some form of physical activity that you can do on a daily basis that will help with your stress levels as well. Never be afraid to ask for help when you have a new born.
November 15th, 2014 6:16pm
Having an infant can be very stressful. Put them in a safe place where they can come to no danger ie cot and take ten minutes breather. Call a family or friend to lend a hand or there is a helpline called CRY-SIS that are free 24/7 for advice
November 22nd, 2014 6:35pm
Just remember, you are exactly that, a new parent. You will gain the strength to be able to tolerate the crying before you know it. Babies cry for no reason sometimes. Dont let yourself stress! If it becomes too much, take 10 minutes, relax, breathe! Take a break! The baby may still cry, but thats ok! Its not going to hurt them to cry. Selfcare first!
December 8th, 2014 10:45pm
Ask Jesus for peace and keep calm, your mom went through the same thing and kept you so its time to do the same thing. God want us to love one another so you should love your own baby
January 3rd, 2015 9:08pm
Your child needs you. The moments you're about to lose your cool, remember that you're there with him/her and that's the biggest motive for him/her to smile. When you see your little kid smiling, you'll forget about everything else and everything else will be worthy.
Anonymous - Expert in Parenting
May 22nd, 2015 5:22pm
Just remember that the baby can't talk. Crying is the only way an infant can communicate to us. If you've fed the baby, changed the baby, just try walking around with the baby or going for a car ride. Notoriously babies love going for rides.
May 24th, 2015 11:10am
I am moving to another room. Separate myself from him/her for a while (1-2 minutes). Comforting myself and then come back to him/her with a cooled myself.
September 7th, 2015 3:31am
It can be overwhelming to be a new parent. But making sure you are prepared before you infant comes too can help. Make sure you have the help that you need if you feel you need a break. Seek help from those around you such as friends and family. If you can't afford a babysitter or help, then use the barter system. Find someone you trust and if they can help you by babysitting for a little while, return the favor and do something for them. You can find a way if you try.
September 8th, 2015 6:22am
Parenting can be exhausting, but, if possible get enough sleep/rest. When you are tired, your patience is shortened. If your baby cries at the same time every day, which is common, be prepared for that to happen. Whenever possible, pass the infant to someone else, preferably someone of the opposite sex (the other parent)after you have exhausted your resources for making the crying stop. Know that this is a normal part of infancy, and will pass. Do not fault yourself. If you have concerns that the crying is abnormal, consult your physician.
September 15th, 2015 6:44pm
Take a second to breath. You are the most important thing to your child and it needs you. There is something wrong that your child can't fix or even understand yet. You are the only thing in your child's life that has the power to make it feel content again. If there is obviously nothing wrong just try to sooth them. Seeing you angry or upset will only make them feel more upset.
January 11th, 2016 11:00pm
A colicky baby can be a new parents worst nightmare. It's a trying time when your precious child seems to be in distress and you don't know what to do on how to calm them. As difficult as it is for you, imagine how unknowingly hard it is for the baby to be living in this new world. The best thing you can do is stay calm. Try a range of things like feeding, changing, skin to skin time, etc. Consult your Pediatrician if the crying persists for more than 3 hours at a time consistently.
January 14th, 2016 9:37am
Relax and stay calm. Take a break if need be and ask someone within the family to help out if you can. There could be a number of reasons why baby is crying, hungry, wet or dirty nappy, colic issues, reflux issues, could be needing to burp etc. If continue then strongly suggest you seek a doctor for further help :) I hope it improves for you.
January 18th, 2016 8:25pm
Look for the internal warning signs when you are feeling overwhelmed. When you are feeling stressed, Calm yourself down and step away for a second. NEVER SHAKE A BABY.
June 28th, 2016 2:31am
There is always a reason why your infant is crying. Get your child some professional help if he/she continuously cries for no reason. You are a new parent not a bad parent, you just have to think out of the box and keep cool and calm because you are the adult in the situation. If your baby is not calm and you are not calm that will only make the situation alot worst.
July 25th, 2016 1:51am
If all their need have been met, it's best to take a break, either having a friend/family come relieve you for a bit, or putting the baby in a safe place and taking a break yourself in a different room to breathe and regain your cool.
October 11th, 2016 4:55am
Babies only cry when they feel uncomfortable or when their needs aren't met. I use this checklist when my baby won't stop crying: - Hungry? - Dirty diaper? - Fever or pain? (Might be teething pain, etc.) - Cold? Hot? - Pee or poop leaked out of diaper? - Colicky? (Burp frequently while feeding. Gripe water (alcohol free) is pretty good to have around.) - Lonely? Just want to be held? - Wants to be rocked? - Trying to fall asleep? - Just feel like crying! It is definitely hard for a first time parent, especially when you just cannot comfort your own baby! I have a 4 month old baby girl. She sometimes cry and scream non stop even after I did everything. Sometimes it is okay to walk away for a couple of minutes, or go take a bath. Just make sure to leave baby in a safe place, eg. the crib. Never shake a baby! It can happen in mere seconds when you feel so frustrated. Some people might say never leave the baby alone crying. But hey! You need to take care of yourself first. You need to be okay and well before you can take care of your baby. It can feel very difficult and overwhelming in the beginning but this shall pass! It will not be like this forever. Your full night sleep will come. Your baby's smiles and laughter and interactions will all come. Good luck!
October 14th, 2016 12:55pm
This is a really difficult situation to be in. Lack of sleep and the constant dependency of an infant can leave us mamas at our wits end. I think the key is the understanding that this time is brief (though it may feel never-ending) and that Soon enough those night time baby cuddles will be gone...and even be missed. Also giving yourself enough distance to realise that in fact it's OK to not have all the answers, you are there. Stress gives us powerful, disturbing thoughts sometimes but these are thoughts and we can change those!
December 31st, 2016 7:44pm
Understanding the innocence of the child. He/she did not ask to be born..they were conceived through love. Remind yourself that patience and understanding is well needed in the process of raising a child in which you chose to give birth to.
March 7th, 2017 11:27pm
Definitely been there. When my little girl started crying, I just wanted to do anything to help solve whatever it was she was going through. One of the ways you can keep calm is recognizing that crying is just the only method your little one has for communicating. Babies usually cry because they're either hungry, need changing or tired. Just make a mental checklist and go through them one by one. As you continue, you'll get better and it will get easier. Hang in there!
June 3rd, 2019 7:39am
An infant doesn’t have the wonderful vocabulary that we have to tell each other what we want. Part of the learning process of a new parent is becoming attuned to your child. You try your best to figure out what it is that they want, and eventually learn from the process. If you have a terrible memory like I do, it could be helpful to write down what has worked for you so far.... there is no need to keep wracking your brain every time your little one crys. Learn from your mistakes and make note of what works, so you can begin to have a toolbox handy to soothe them. Self-care is extremely important in helping keep your cool. You need time to recharge and take a break. That could look like meditation while the little one is asleep, someone to babysit while you recoup, or catching up on much needed sleep. Remember: If things ever get too difficult, either reach out for help or walk away for a minute.
November 17th, 2020 4:38am
The best way to keep your cool when your infant wont stop crying is to take preventative measures. When you have downtime, please take a relaxing bath/shower, hot tea, soft music, and possibly learn meditation. Also, doing things to quiet your mind, such as reading would be helpful as well. Diet and exercise will benefit you the most. A well balanced diet, and light exercise will help relieve the stress of having a new baby. Even if your not able to exercise due to your busy schedule, eating lots of fruits, veggies and drinking water will also work wonders.