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Should I tell my child their twin died during the birth?

15 Answers
Last Updated: 08/14/2018 at 2:34am
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
December 30th, 2014 2:44pm
I think that you should but timing is going to be a big factor, just make sure its the right time to have that conversation. Children understand things in ways that can amaze us, and telling then allows for healing on the part of the parents as well and gives everybody good dialog to process this loss, that is what family is all about.
CMThornRose
October 22nd, 2014 7:38pm
Yes. It'd be best for them to know, maybe wait until they are a little older to understand but don't leave it until teen years.
Swifting
March 29th, 2016 1:16am
It has always been my belief in parenting that one should tell your children things and be honest about them from the very beginning. That you can cause more damage to the child if they have to find out on their own and ask someone else questions, getting false information, than if you have talks regularly to explain things. By telling them you reduce that feeling of betrayal and feeling of lack of honesty and trust between you.
Anonymous
August 14th, 2018 2:34am
Such a difficult decision to make. I think it is up to the individual but I know some people who have chosen to remember the twin who did not survive, and their child has simply always been told they have a sibling in heaven. Their decision was somewhat influenced by the fact they had an older sibling before the twins, so it was in part a decision so that child could process the loss of one of the twins.
Aron
September 30th, 2014 7:09pm
Talk to your child about why they need to know that kind of information. It's not always good to let them know about it, unless otherwise.
Anonymous
November 2nd, 2014 11:49pm
Yes. better be honestt than hide it and later on the child find out. he/she would be hurt because you didnt tell them
Vansb18
November 8th, 2014 12:56am
I should put you on your child skin. Think how you react if someone said you that, and, try to tell your child that, the best way possible
NicoleIsHere
December 18th, 2014 9:00pm
It depends on the age of the child, wait until you think they are old enough to accept the news. Sorry for your loss.
Anonymous - Expert in Parenting
May 16th, 2015 1:31am
That's touchy because everyone is different when it comes to reception of bad news. If twins run in the family, the question may come up. It could also be something medically necessary to know.
ClaireyMarie
July 21st, 2015 2:26am
I think you should tell them when that child is mentally ready. It is probably best to wait until they are older and understand death more.
MegEliza
July 30th, 2015 12:31am
I think it would be a good thing for them to know, but age and maturity level of the child are important factors to consider when thinking about telling them.
Anonymous
March 18th, 2016 7:47pm
You should tell them when there young cause it will hurt them more when they get older if they find out then but don't cover this up because most likely they will find out and if the parents don't tell them it will also hurt them just be there support them and help them.
Anonymous
July 18th, 2016 6:39am
When the child is old enough and you are emotionally steady to take on the child's questions and grief.
Anonymous
August 4th, 2016 9:03pm
Same as I said to another question. Well, it wasn't their older sibling because it didn't live. I'm so sorry for you, sweetie, and you should tell your child, "Excuse me, but can we have a talk? You didn't do anything wrong, don't worry. It’s about my first child." Then you can say, gently, "You see, I had another child before you were born. But unfortunately, he/she died, so you didn't get your older sibling." Give them a hug, answer any questions, and be supportive. I hope that helps, and I hope you'll find joy despite your child's death, sweetheart.
delicateEars36
August 8th, 2016 11:50pm
Yes, but wait until they are old enough to process that information. It may help them feel better about some things.