What are some good discipline techniques for all age groups?
Last Updated: 06/02/2019 at 2:57am
Linda Miland, MA
Licensed Professional Counselor
I have a passion to help individuals address and challenge thoughts ,feelings and lifestyle factors that are contributing to mental health issues.
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Age-Appropriate Discipline Techniques The disciplining techniques parents use should be based on age-appropriate expectations. For example, explaining to a 13-month-old why she is being punished for hitting her sibling isn't going to get you very far if she can't yet understand reasoning. Using guidelines outlined by the American Academy of Family Physicians, Dr. Phil suggests the following discipline techniques and when they are effective to use. •Positive Reinforcement Focusing on good behavior instead of bad behavior. Parental attention is one of the most powerful forms of positive reinforcement. •Redirecting This technique literally involves the simple act of redirecting your child to appropriate behavior. •Verbal Instruction/Explanation Going over what you want your child to do and why can help him/her develop good judgment. •Time-outs Time-outs involve physically removing your child from a problem situation. Sending your child to a neutral and "boring" area, such as the corner of a room with no toys or television, and ignoring him/her until he/she is calm and quiet. Time-outs should not last longer than five minutes. One minute of time-out per year of life is a good rule of thumb. •Establishing Rules Explain your rules and be prepared to repeat them until your child learns to follow them on his/her own. •Grounding A technique effective with school-age children and teenagers, it involves restricting your child to a certain place, usually home or his/her room, as punishment. For example, "grounding" your child on a Saturday night as punishment for breaking curfew on Friday night. •Withholding Privileges Children should learn that privileges come with responsibility and they need to be earned. In order to be effective, this technique should be used infrequently. A privilege that is valued by the child, such as watching television or playing with friends, should be removed. Birth to 18 Months Effective: •Positive Reinforcement •Redirecting Ineffective: •Verbal Instruction/Explanation •Time-outs •Establishing Rules •Grounding •Withholding Privileges 18 Months to 3 Years Effective: •Positive Reinforcement •Redirecting •Verbal Instruction/Explanation •Time-outs Ineffective: •Establishment of Rules •Grounding •Withholding Privileges 4 to 12 Years Effective: •Positive Reinforcement •Redirecting •Verbal Instruction/Explanation •Time-outs •Establishment of Rules •Grounding •Withholding Privileges 13 to 16 Years Effective: •Positive Reinforcement •Verbal Instruction/Explanation •Establishment of Rules •Grounding •Withholding Privileges Ineffective: •Redirecting •Time-outs
Encouragement , encouragement, encouragement... it is so important and also builds confidence and trust between you and your child. Specific praise is very helpful as well, for example, "I am very proud of you for working so hard to prepare for your math test". Specific praise puts worth on the action and not the child so they do not always look to you for their worth. Also, try to make sure the consequences fit the behavior. If you can, try not to discipline when angry. We all get angry. Spend some time along thinking about what you are going to do. Also, during this time, your child may be thinking about their behavior as well. Think about the goal of the behaviors. Are they looking for attention? Is this an issue of power? Are they displaying the needs of inadequacy, or are they looking to get revenge? These are the most common goals of misbehavior according to theorists. When you think of the goal, then you can decide which type of consequence or positive behaviors you could put into place to help change the behavior. One goal is for the child to want to change their own behavior, instead of being forced, but this comes with maturity and age. Sometimes, ignoring, distraction, giving them a job to do, or making them feel a part of the family is helpful. Getting into a powerful struggle is difficult and you will most likely not win. If you child is out of control and you are home, allow them to gain control, then speak with them. The child will not be able to logical reason or listen to you when they are out of control. Also, I believe in natural consequences. They child understands these and you are not giving discipline. Try using positive reinforcement without always using an extrinsic motivator. This can work. It may take time, but it can work. Good luck and thank you for your question. Come to a chat room, support forum, or speak with a listener one on one if you need to talk. Sometimes parenting can be hard and need support.
Discipline with exercise can be helpful by targeting the areas they are having trouble with, ie. Hitting/arms kicking/legs etc. They will not only get a good work out in, but will tire themselves out a bit too.
Read the bible and learn what God has to offer for us and see all the promises He has for us and teach them right from wrong. We need to know the truth about why we are here and how we can get where we are going in life
Stay consistent. Exercise common sense. Be respectful to everyone at every age. Don't make rules you do not believe in and do not intend to keep. Set clear boundaries.
Time out is a good discipline technique for ages 2 through adult. A child often needs a time out to think about what they have done wrong and calm down. The same thing works for an adult. Time out helps them calm down and think rationally.
Point out the behavior, give time, reflect on what happened, Its important that both sides are heard and explained. Following through on realistic punishments (i.e activity or leisure taken away or lessened)
Good discipline techniques for all age groups, well there is always the time out discipline. Where, when the child is misbehaving you give them a warning and tell them this behaviour is unnectable and if they continue they will have time out, if they continue, depending on the age 0-10 years old, every minute for their age is the time they are on time out for. So if they are 5, 5 minutes, if they are 10, 10 minutes, and soon they will learn. Also there is disaplining them in cancelling things they are looking forward to, taking their ipad, phone, tv away for a few days, and hopefully they will learn that this behaviour is not acceptable
Good discipline techniques involve regular practice, and dedication. Regular usage of types like yoga, meditation, and exercise and daily routine are good.
Connect with the person. If you can get through to them what they did wrong, you can help them realize the necessity in apologizing and doing the right thing.
Grabbing the hand(not hard) and smacking it(not hard) to show that you are mad and will not take anymore.
Meditation is a great discipline to learn in order to control you mind, as well as any form of exercise.
Planning ahead of the time. Finishing the work before the deadline. Inculcating the habit of saving (food/paper/electricity/money/groceries/water). Choosing silence over bitter words. Enhancing focus on one activity by voluntarily cutting away the distractions. Introspection. Know yourself. Keeping a log of daily activities. Learn something from everyday.
Good discipline is about showing that you care for the person before you teach them or moralize about anything. I mean once you have the person's trust, you can easily ask them to do things or convince them to do things. So rewards, taking away reward, letting them experience own consequences for their behavior are all helful.
I think the key to a well behaved child is connection. You need to take time out of your day. Spend time with them and talk to them... if they are having difficulties, step back for a minute and try to understand the situation from their point of view. Their misbehavior is telling a story.... it is your job to decode it. With that said, it is helpful to redirect the energy when things get tough. Are they being difficult ? Sometimes taking a short walk with them and talking to them will change the energy of the situation. The more connected and involved you are with them, the more well behaved they will be ! It is natural to want to please those we look up to.
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