What are some ways to discipline my child without "spanking"?
Last Updated: 02/24/2020 at 12:16am
Raifiel Cyril, Masters in Applied Psychology
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Top Rated Answers
Time outs work well. Also rewarding good behavior and not the bad behavior. Taking away something they love until they make up for the disproved action.
Depending on the age depends on the best method. That and you know your child best. Sometimes a time out where you can keep an eye on them (sit on the couch with no tv) is a good way to handle it, and sometimes a child will become too emotional for that. The best thing to do is to learn what their currency is and make sure they get plenty of it while they are behaving that they wouldn't want to lose it when they misbehave.
Letting them know that when you do "this bad thing" you will no longer be able to do "these fun things" if they are old enough to understand that. Children love to be free and have fun so for them the worst punishment isn't always spanking sometimes it's not being able to do the things they love. Most times, that is the best way to get through!
Get their undivided attention, get on their level (not hovering over them), talk to them calmly, and tell them what they did wrong and ask them what they could have done differently. Repeat x2. If the problem persists, find other things the child can do to redirect their pent up energy.
Having time outs work wonders! Explaining why they are in time out, helps the child understand. Praising their good behaviour will make them think that if they do something naughty, they won’t get the reward - they’ll get the time out! :)
Position, my mother had us stand on a wall with our arms out almost as if we were sitting in a chair
Use words,not too harsh words.But words that will make them understand.Understand what you're trying to tell them.We don't want a crying child do we?
Well, you can put them in time out, take away things they like to play with or use, Ground or restrict them from going to a friends. etc.
I am 100% against using any physical force against a child, there is always the option of taking away something they enjoy such as television during the week. The best way that I have seen and believe is to start an early age of properly teaching them right from wrong while giving them the explanations as to why so they can understand and not want to do what is wrong.
Letting them make the mistakes instead and making them come to terms with consequences make it stand
Don't give a lecture. Just don't. We children have short attention spans. Trust me. Be kind and use reverse psychology. In a way, dont restrict too much of anything. Use summer school if they dont like summer school as a way to follow through. Discipline needs to go for independence. Teach them the reality and independence or else forever, they won't learn for sure with restrictive manner. -summer school -extended homework periods -cut of money (good for teaching about work life. dont do good job, get cuts) -cut their use on wifi during homework time. If needed, send them to the library to do that. Old school works perfectly. -trust them.
I personally don't think spanking is 100% a bad way to discipline children, but I think it should be the very last resort. The first thing I would do is to understand, and think from my child's point of view why would she want to make the mistake she made. I would kneel or squat down to my child's height, look into her eyes and ask "Why?" in a soft and concern manner. Encourage her to speak out, if I feel there's more to it, I will keep asking questions in a non pushy way. I think this way you can gain the trust of your child. Then explain to the child why is it unacceptable to commit the mistake. If the child doesn't understand, then use her/him as an example to the situation and ask how would the child feel. It's more reasoning and accepting the reasoning than anything else.
You can always take away certain privileges for a day, and if it keeps happening, increase the number of days. You can send them to their room for the day, or have them not be able to have friends over for a week or so.
Set rules and standards of behavior from an early age. Make sure that your kid always understands why they are being punished. It is also important to understand where your kid is developmentally. An infant isn’t trying to hurt you when he bites; a toddler isn’t being naughty when she breaks something out of curiosity. Know what your child is capable of understanding and doing.
Every single child is different and what works for one will be different for another. You have to figure your own way of what works for each child and stick with it.
Talking to him as a person and not a child usually helps. Using a stern voice can discipline the child, but make sure they know that it is because you love them.
An alternative to spanking is a reward chart for when they are well behaved as this is an incentive to better behaviour for example a star chart . Then when they have 10 stars a small reward would be rewarded. It would empahsise that good behaviour is better and give them a sense of achievement also
Treating your child with respect is the first step of effective discipline. Spanking does not fall into this category.
Some effective methods could be grounding your child by taking away toys, talking to your child about what they did and why it was wrong, putting them in time out, etc. Remember that the goal of the punishment is to make sure they wont do the behavior again so do what works most effectively for your child.
The best way would be to talk it out to your child and make them understand what's wrong. So through this, they would be able to know why it is wrong. Other ways would be to making them to fix their mistakes and giving them a small punishment without hurting them. Through this way, they may understand it better.For example, if your child regularly spills food knowingly, you should try making your child clean the mess and not give a chocolate or something which your child usually used to eat as a reward. This would make the child of the mistake and how to correct it.
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