Why can't I seem to connect to my teenage child?
Last Updated: 04/16/2018 at 8:17pm
Caroline Middelsdorf, MSc.
I am a warm hearted, patient, calm and open-minded therapist. I am here to dedicate my expertises to my clients and their individual challenges, thoughts and feelings.
Top Rated Answers
Age gap is the common reason why parents and teenage children do not connect. In most cases, when the child reaches the age of adolescence, he/she starts to discover himself/herself. And when that time comes, the child will try not to involve the parents in an attempt to think like an adult. Eventually, the child will want to be treated as an adult as well, thus conflict unsues because the parenst still see the child as a child.
I so connect with this question. I have 2 teens and a preteen living at my home right now. This can be difficult. Some ideas others have given me are using icebreakers at the dinner table and having a family game night. Out family does highs and lows at dinner where everyone has to tell their high and low of their day,even the adults. This is a good way to gauge how their day went without intense conversation. Teens often don't like to talk and want to be alone. We should all learn to respect their need for some space, including myself. One way that I have found to get my children to talk and connect is to talk with them while doing an activity that they enjoy. You might start talking and connecting while playing basketball, tennis, golf, listening to music, drawing, building something together, even doing chores together. Teens are more open to talk if it is not an awkward one on one conversation and when they are active as well. Also, invite their friends over and get to know them. Have your home be the one where everyone feels welcome. They do come back to us, I promise, but I understand and respect this challenge.
Teenagers are always in some awkward phase. It's nothing you're doing or not doing, it's just they way they're being. Talking to a brick wall is an under statement when it comes to trying to get through to teenagers. Don't give up though! They will come around and realize that what you have to say is something that's important to them and for them.
That's because you have grown beautifully and you need to look at what's coming for you in the future !
It can be hard to connect to your child during those ever so lovely teenage years. But, the best think you can do during those times is to be prepared and listen. There are so many hormonal changes going through your teen during those time. Most are also dealing with alot of new lifestyle changes such as highschool and peer pressure and wanting to "fit in". Just learn to listen and talk to your teen. Make sure you set aside time for you to talk and answer any questions that they might have or need answered. If you feel that your child is not connecting to you for unknown reasons or feel that they might be in trouble, or notice a sudden mood change or personality change, please seek professional advice from a provider such as counselor, therapist, or psychologist to help you through.
Teenagers and adults may not always see eye to eye due to personality development, and differing priorities. Sometimes recalculation and empathy is required on both sides.
You and your teen were born in different generations, and therefore respond differently to situations. You may think something, while she might think the complete opposite. Try listening to your teen and ask him/her to listen to you, so that you can both connect.
Teenagers aren't easy because their body and mind is changing, after puberty it is going to be easier again
Teenagers need their space, they want to be independent and want to grow up as quickly as possible. So it's okay for parents to feel like that, some parents want to get closer with their teenage children by becoming hippy and funny or maybe just doing things with them even if they don't like it. But trust me, your children love you, but when they are teens...they never know how to express it.
Teenage is a sensitive age when teenager try to asses who they are and acquire independence. Often the prefer their peer company over adults.
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