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Will I make the same mistakes my parents did?

17 Answers
Last Updated: 08/11/2020 at 8:27pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Kajsa Futrell, RTC


I specialise in respectfully helping people navigate their way through trauma and relationship issues. The adversities in our life can actually transform us.

Top Rated Answers
February 8th, 2015 10:07am
That you are asking the question means that you are engaging in an inquiry about the mistakes that your parent or parents made that you are evaluating the mistakes, that you are interiorizing their implications to you. This already puts you way ahead of your parents because you are becoming aware that there are choices to be made and that the mistakes your parents made have alternative healthy choices that you are becoming aware of. No you do not need to make the same mistakes your parents made. just become more aware.
January 10th, 2017 6:59pm
May be yes, may be no. Your awareness of the mistakes can may be deal with some preparation beforehand, but there is no foolproof way of doing anything. Bottom line, don't carry the burden of your parent's mistakes, your will bury yourself under the constant pressure of not repeating it. Just go with the flow. Even if you repeat some mistakes, trust me they will be a different version of them. Don't be afraid to make mistakes.
June 17th, 2015 6:13pm
You can choose not to make the same mistakes you parents did by recognizing what those mistakes are. Being mindful is what will keep you focused on parenting and not making mistakes. We all make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. But you can be sure that your mistakes won't be big ones or damaging ones by striving to stay mindful of your actions and words.
September 9th, 2015 1:30pm
No doubt you will make some of the same mistakes your parents did, but chances are, you could very well err on the other side. For example, suppose you think your parents were too strict, so you decide there is going to be no way you will be that strict. Sometimes, we find ourselves doing those very things we thought we'd never do. You end up being just as strict. Or, other times, in an attempt to deal with your perceived ideas about where your parents went wrong, you will actually become too lenient, for example. You will find it is a mix of both, more than likely.
February 17th, 2015 7:18pm
You and your parents are separate people. It's up to you to make your own decisions, so most likely, you won't make the same mistakes.
April 30th, 2015 5:04am
Everyone makes mistakes. It's how we overcome them that matters. So what could you do to improve them if you ever in up in that situation?
October 8th, 2015 9:42am
Not necessarily, we all have the power to choose our own path and carve out a life that we want for ourselves, we will all make mistakes in our lives and we can choose to learn from them or keep repeating them. By asking is you'll make the same mistakes as your parents you're showing that you are aware of what you don't want to do which will put you in better stead to avoid those mistakes.
November 6th, 2015 6:09pm
You are a completelly different identity than your parents which can learn on it's own good things and bad things. Even thought you might be influenced by your experience with your parents as well as what they have thought you they do not define you. You might do the same mistakes but they do not depend on your parents. What I mean is, if your parents had an addiction, it does not mean that because of them you will have the same addiction. However, you need to look for the appropriate ressources to help you where you need help. The fact that you have established certain mistakes in what your parents did means that you can prepare better to be able to avoid doing the same mistakes. And remember, even if you do the same mistakes, there will always be help if you look for it. Hope this helps!
January 19th, 2016 6:19pm
In my experience all parents make mistakes - i know i have. The difference is in acknowledging and learning from our mistakes and those of our own parents and being prepared to look for new and different ways around ovstacles. Parenting mindfully.
February 8th, 2016 2:39am
This is completely up to you. Simply be aware of your actions and build a healthy relationship with your child. If you feel that you're not doing something right, feel free to get extra support. You don't need to do this alone.
August 16th, 2016 5:39pm
No you are your own self, you make make your own decision not your parents, I don't think your parents made any mistakes
Anonymous - Expert in Parenting
January 3rd, 2017 3:52pm
Not necessarily. Often when we grow up we learn from mistakes of those around us. By identifying the problem, it gives room for improvement and therefore change
January 30th, 2018 9:39pm
It's up to you! If you've had the example, you know for sure what not to follow, so let yourself be and try hard to be a good example to your (future) children. I'm sure you're totally capable of being a wonderful parent, so don't worry too much and go for it! Just remember that you won't always be able to do a perfect job, and it's okay, you can grow together your children and learn how to be a better parent listening to what they think. Just be open-minded to new point of views and let them show you how to improve and everything will be alright. :)
June 11th, 2018 9:41pm
Depends. If you stay aware to what you consider mistakes you might be able to avoid them most of the time or forgive yourself when you do not.
November 5th, 2018 1:56am
You yourself have to be determined to work towards being a better person, and being better than them. You must want to be better, than slowly you will be. I know it may seem hard to accomplish, but eventually things will work out, and you won't have the chance to make the mistakes anymore, because you will be better than any mistake that could come across you, but remember, everyone makes mistakes, it is part of being human, so as hard as it may be, embrace your mistakes, and overcome them too. You must want to better yourself in order to do it.
November 11th, 2019 8:30am
Of course not, you are your own person no matter what your parents chose to be. Have a healthy mindset and understand that you can be so much more than you think you are. Be the person you parents wanted to be. Show them how it is done. Please never lse sight of hope. Do not follow in their footsteps. Learn from their bad decisions or bad mistakes. Your path is not your parents' path. Stay strong and see past all this. You will be better than your parents I promise. thank you for the question. have a good day.
August 11th, 2020 8:27pm
Many people think that they'll be just like their parents and do the same mistakes. For example, if their parents marriage doesn't work out, the children think that their marriage won't work out either and that they can't love. However, it's not entirely true. Everyone's different, and makes different choices. A person's morals and ethics teach them what to do and what not to do. So it's not fair to blame yourself for your parents doings. You must trust yourself, and know that you wouldn't follow your parents footsteps on where they made mistakes. You are different than your parents.