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I tried to talk to someone about what happened to me, but they just said I should stop complaining. Are they right?

42 Answers
Last Updated: 08/03/2020 at 10:05am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jamitia Wilson, MS, LAC

Pre-Licensed Professional

I believe that true healing occurs when one is able to honestly express how one feels about himself/herself and the world. I would be honored to support your healing change.

Top Rated Answers
July 31st, 2015 4:49pm
They are wrong! Dont believe in them. Talking about your traumatic experience actually will help you improve. You need to talk about it in details to experience healing. Keeping it inside will hurt you more.
August 3rd, 2015 11:44pm
No, and I can tell you from experience. Sometimes it takes a lot of effort to just ask the person if they have a minute. I would have trust in this person and it is not right for them to blow you off.
August 25th, 2015 4:13pm
No, if it bugs you, you should try to get it off your chest and talk to someone. Maybe a counselor or someone you trust.
December 27th, 2015 6:23pm
No, because the only way is talking about what happened to you and that has a powerful impact in making you feel better, don't take what they said literally maybe they meant that you should move on and overcome what happened rather then complaining about it
March 28th, 2016 9:02pm
No they're not right. If something is bothering you then you're more than entitled to share what you've been through whether what happened is small or big, you should always talk about it, one because it does make you feel better, and two because no one should ever tell you that you're just complaining about it. That's ridiculous, whatever you're going through. Speak out, don't keep it in! :)
April 17th, 2017 5:34am
No you are not complaining, if something is impacting on your life and you feel it needs to be talked about then it needs to be talked about; it doesn't matter what one person thinks, keep searching you will find someone who is truly willing to listen and help.
March 27th, 2018 2:53pm
No, they are not. If something bothers you it is normal to seek help and understanding. We have different thresholds to life's issues but you should trust your feelings.
June 26th, 2018 1:29pm
No! You have a right to feel the way that you do, and it helps to vocalize what happened. If the person you're talking to isn't being supportive, you should talk to someone who can either be supportive or listen with a non-biased or neutral mind.
July 9th, 2018 1:21pm
No you have every right to complain about anything you want, no matter how trivial because for some of us, it's just our way of expressing our feelings
April 23rd, 2019 3:50pm
No, it is natural to need to vent sometimes and need to get things off your chest. The person who said you should just stop complaining doesn't sound very empathetic and it might be best to find someone else who does have more empathy to rant or vent to. It might be best to consider whether or not it is worth keeping them in your life or if it is even healthy to keep them in your life. Not everyone deserves to be a part of your life. Also keep in mind sites like this one - 7Cups - are here if you ever need someone to simply listen to you.
June 22nd, 2020 11:26am
Hello. See, it depends on the person and the situation. If it is something that is hindering with your daily routine or work, and you have to let it out to someone, then I would suggest that you talk to someone else about it. If that person is a close friend, then maybe tell them that it is something which you have to talk about, and you have to let them know. Usually, people take a look at a situation and think that they would probably be able to go through it easily and then they apply the same reason to you. Maybe ask someone else, who would listen and lend a shoulder, or tell the same person about how it is affecting you? If neither of the options work, then you always have your friends here on 7Cups to lend their ear and shoulder. Don't hesitate or be shy to hit anyone up and ask for their help! I hope this helps you out a bit. Stay safe!
August 3rd, 2020 10:05am
No they are not right!!!! But they aren't wrong as well. Its just they are unable to understand your perception and the emotion you are going though. Sometimes people share opinions based on their life experiences. It might be possible, that person might have had a different way of handling thing, but that doesn't mean they are right in their opinion of you. Not all are good listeners. Try joining a forum and try connecting one to one with someone who can just listen to you. The world is full of wonderful people (especially on volunteer sites like 7cup) as well. Sometimes just listening or sharing makes a huge amount of difference in the way we see ourselves. In short: ** You're Not wrong if u sharing and the opposite person isn't right if its his or her way of taking your stuff as a complain**