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If I talk to a therapist about it, will they make me confront my abuser?

32 Answers
Last Updated: 08/29/2018 at 11:45pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Monique Bivins, MA, LPC

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Top Rated Answers
romanticthi3f
August 28th, 2018 12:24am
No! Every choice that you make in therapy is totally and completely up to you. Your therapist can make suggestions and offer advice until they are blue in the face, but whatever you decide is completely your decision. Sometimes in therapy it can help to talk about the abuse without confronting who abused you, or you may find it helpful to write a letter and never send it, or to talk to an empty chair imagining that they are sitting in it. There are so many different ways of healing without having to talk to your abuser - and even if you did want to talk to your abuser, your therapist could help you out with that too.
snarcoleptic
- Expert in PTSD/Trauma
August 29th, 2018 11:45pm
They can't make you do anything, for starters -- only you can make your choices. However, the only reason I can think someone might suggest you confront your abuser is if they are a) likely not aware that they are abusing you and b) likely to want to change their behavior once they are confronted about it. While 'a' is not uncommon, 'b' is more rare. Besides, the reason you are in therapy is to help yourself -- so I think most therapists will be helping you figure out how to either deal with or, when possible, leave the abusive situation and heal from the trauma.