How to deal with being bi, but growing up religious? And learning your whole life that it's wrong.
Last Updated: 05/17/2020 at 6:44am
Lauren Abasheva, LMHC
Licensed Professional Counselor
A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.
Top Rated Answers
You've already done a great step forward by acknowledging your identity, your self-acceptance issues and the fact that you deserve to love yourself for who you are. The rest will come with time, practice and support. Try to deconstruct the principles you've internalized by excersing this kind of reasoning: whenever you have a negative thought about your orientation, ask yourself what's the logical or moral reason for it. You will find that there's nothing inherently wrong in love, whoever it involves, as long as there is mutual respect and care. The more you'll try to see things under this perspective, the easier it will become to accept it! Give yourself time, and get support from whoever you think would be accepting of your identity. You can also consider getting in contact with an LGBT group, that can not only support you, but also help you accepting that anyone can have a happy, fulfilling life regardless of their orientation!
This is something that took me many years to come to terms with. I'm not sure if you're still religious or if you just grew up religious, but there are so many LGBT Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs etc. all over the world. I briefly attended a very inclusive church where a lot of the members were LGBT - it was so refreshing. If you're still religious, try to find a community where you can surround yourself with others like you. You need to remember that you did not choose to be bi. Humans cannot choose who they love and who they are attracted to you. Whether you believe in a God or not, you were born this way and no matter what anyone says - this is who you are. It's no fault that you're bi. I grew up religious and my mother was absolutely delighted when I came out to her. I realise not all families are the same, but you cannot change your sexuality, in the same way you can't change your ethnicity. God doesn't care who you love - as long as you love.
As I religious bisexual, I understand that this may be difficult, confusing, and frustrating. Your beliefs play a big role in this, so there is not a universal answer for everyone. Some people take comfort in believing the they are loved by God regardless of their sexual orientation. Others find comfort in reading the parts of the Bible that say that only one thing determines where you go after death, and that it is not your sexuality. If your religion/you believes in and uses the Bible, feel free to message me to find some verses about this matter or that may encourage you. If you would like to chat or vent about this matter, you can always browse the available listeners or send out a general request for a listener. And as always, my inbox is open for you.
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