A month after the breakup my boyfriend contacted me and we started hooking up. He said he had not hooked up with others and now he says he did but didn't need to tell me as I am ex. Is he right?
4 Answers
Last Updated: 10/25/2021 at 11:38pm
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Melissa Strauss, LPC
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
May 15th, 2018 11:50am
No. If he has been hooking up with other girls he needs to tell you first because you have a right to know. He also lied, which is not right
It depends on the type of relationship you guys are in. If you never made it clear to him that he needs to share stuff like this with you, then it is true he is right. As your ex he is kind of free to do whatever he wants unless he told you specifically he is yours.
There are two parts to this. Your ex boyfriend is right at first, he is not obliged to disclose his sexual history to an ex or anyone he doesn't want to for that matter. However, being open and honest about sexual encounters with current sexual partners is important and very beneficial when thinking about remaining safe while being sexually active. Having an honest conversation with your ex boyfriend about why you want to know, and how it will help in terms of protection could be useful here as he may not have understand the need to tell you. If he does not want to be open about it and this makes you uncomfortable do not be afraid to stop engaging with him sexually as you do not owe him anything.
When I am asked these sorts of questions, I like to ask questions back. How did you feel when your boyfriend did tell you the truth? Do you believe you were treated with respect and a caring attitude? Were your feelings being considered? I don't think that it's always a matter of who is right and who is wrong. Everyone can have different opinions about things. And people see things from their own perspectives, as well. It all comes down to how the actions of your boyfriend affected you in that moment. And how do you feel about it now? Being treated with care is something you deserve, and I wish you the best as you sort out your feelings and decide what you need as you move forward.
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