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Do I listen to my heart or my mind? I have been dating somebody 27 years older in what feels like the perfect relationship. Is this wrong or right?

9 Answers
Last Updated: 08/31/2020 at 2:16am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lindsay Scheinerman, MA, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

My work with clients is to help them recognize and build on their strengths to find solutions for the conflicts presented in their lives.

Top Rated Answers
ChiaraIsNowAvailable
February 5th, 2018 7:05pm
As long as you're an adult and you're happy with your relationship, the age difference shouldn't matter, and no one has the right to tell you if it is "right or wrong". Everything's up to you and your partner, every couple works their things out differently.
Anonymous
February 6th, 2018 11:47am
I would say that if you are genuinely happy within this relationship, and it has no repercussions within your life then you have no reason to stop. Care about what makes you happy first, and what other people may think or social norms second
Anonymous
January 29th, 2018 3:17am
This is right, if your relationship is going well i say, you keep up the good work! Never give up!!!
MoonlitPetey
February 9th, 2018 12:48pm
What you believe in your mind will eventually get down to your heart. Keep focusing on everything that is good, and strong, and commendable, and right in your relationship. That is a good foundation to then be able to see clearly to identify any real obstacles to your relationship being successful!
Anonymous
July 10th, 2018 1:43pm
Only you are the best judge of what's right for you. I've known people with a very similar difference in ages that were happily married for many years. Every relationship brings its own unique challenges.
justahomietryingtohelp
August 6th, 2019 11:10pm
if it feels right, then why care about what other people think? do what makes you happy and don't cower from it. Don't even ask the question if it's right or wrong, because it is a perfect relationship to you! I believe you should always listen to your heart because it's where you love, and love unconditionally. Your mind is good in scenarios where there is an issue, but your heart tells you the fresh truth. Love your relationship, and shine through this doubt! I believe in you, and i hope you and your partner have an amazing life together and can withstand anything. Bravo.
Anonymous
November 25th, 2019 12:06pm
Yes, I am listening to you. I know that you are worried now. You have been dating somebody 27 years older in what feels like the perfect relationship. In fact, many people have this kind of similar problem now In my opinion, age is not so important sometimes, especially when two people really love each other. Many people are confused when they meet love. They don't know whether their choice is right or wrong. You said you didn't know whether to follow your heart or your mind. So could you please tell me what happened to you two? I am listening to you.
cloudburst
March 30th, 2020 4:08am
As much as I love romance and relationships, as much as I hate heartbreaks, and as much as I like the "follow your heart" or "follow your passion" popular advices that I believe are often right in various situations, in a human's interior faculties, reason is more trustworthy than emotion. But, I know this may not be a popular answer in this era, Celine Dion did seem to have a good relationship with her late husband, and I don't know enough to judge for you in this case. So, I can only lay out the principal science in a human's interior anatomy and hope that helps in whatever you are thinking of. Wish you all the best with your relationship and decision! :)
SophieWX
August 31st, 2020 2:16am
As long as you are above legal age, you don't have to worry about an age gap other than the fact that perhaps it is a bit against social norms. As long as there isn't a power imbalance in your relationship, and like you said, it is perfect, then there is no reason not to listen to your heart! Just as long as you still keep a cool head about you. Because sadly, relationships with big age gaps tends to be more susceptible to problems, so just as long as you feel secure and safe, you should be good to go!