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Everytime my boyfriend ever says hes going to go out with his friends I just feel like rubbish, he's so loyal to me but I just feel crap about it. Help, why do i even feel like this?

6 Answers
Last Updated: 08/12/2019 at 8:00am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Jannise McKamey-Bruell, LAPC

Counselor

I am a nonjudgmental counselor that employs transparency, trust, honesty and integrity in her practice and in the therapeutic relationship.

Top Rated Answers
SunFlower700
July 16th, 2017 7:05pm
I would feel the same if I were on your shoes. Even with knowing he is loyal to you but the idea of him being with another one is really not a good one. Try to think if you could change anything about it! Do you feel it's a good idea to tell your boyfriend to never say that he is going to see his friend? Do you feel him seeing their friend without you knowing when, would help? If yes, then try to talk with your boyfriend and let him know your feelings about his friend and ask him to respect your feelings with some simple things. I really hope that would help.
Vetsaccount17
October 28th, 2017 9:41pm
I’m in a relationship for over 4 years now! Met my bf in college! We are both finished over two years now. He has his secondary school friends, college friends, friends from work, friends from around his home area and teams! I have 1 friend that I met in my last job and she make every excuse possible not to meet up! When my bf says I’m going for few drinks with the lads, it could be anyone because he has so many friends and I haven’t even been able to become friends with all these lads girlfriends! I get annoyed too and I know it comes across in texts or in what I say to him but it’s just because I’ve absolutely no one !
flowersandmoreflowers
November 4th, 2017 10:03pm
I think this scenario is fairly common and I struggle with a similar issue. My boyfriend is very out going and social. He has many friends, two of his closest friends are ex girlfriends. He likes to go out for drinks with them now and then and at times I am not invited, because they want to catch up on things alone. I can tell you it is not easy and it causes much strife in our relationship. The thing is, he's not interested in them and he totally loves me, but still I don't like him staying out late and going for drinks with other women. Also he has 40 + of his past lovers as FB friends. I had to unfriend him because I was getting upset on a regular basis by having to constantly see his exes commenting and posting on his page. Still we love one another and I wish we could figure out a plan of how to make this work for both he and I.
SoeeUnoo
July 10th, 2018 11:00am
Jealousy is a common reaction to have, especially to someone you really care about and dont want to loose. This however can be detrimental to your relationship as trust is king in a relationship. If you cant trust your significant other, it might not be worth the hassle to stay. If you feel this way without any signs of him cheating, you may want to hold yourself to a higher standard and let the birdie go free. Me and my significant other hold ourselves to a "if you want to cheat go ahead" approach. The logic is that if she doesnt value me enough to not cheat, I value myself enough to know that, that is not okay and I will move on with my life. This goes for her as well. Hope this helps.
PrettySoul2
October 2nd, 2018 10:24pm
One or two reasons why you would feel this way. Either your boyfriend friends aren't really his friends and encourage him to make bad choices or you don't fully trust him. However, you will never have a genuinely relationship without trust. Furthermore, it's good to let your partner have some air and go out with his friends from time to time but not all the time and it's good for you to do the same. The problem is when it becomes frequent and he starts changing on you unless this happens it's perfectly fine for him to hang with friends.
Anonymous
August 12th, 2019 8:00am
It's perfectly okay to feel under-appreciated or even jealous when a loved one spends time with someone else. We all feel this way at times, and it is completely understandable. I could be wrong, but it sounds like you need to work on being in a place where you are secure enough to be okay with your boyfriend spending time with other people. Also, remember that communication and trust are the keys to a healthy relationship. If you feel comfortable, talk to him about how you're feeling. If he is a good boyfriend, he'll take pride in making sure you're happy and will want to help you feel not as insecure. Best of luck! I know you will be able to figure this out :)