For the past months I haven't been happy with my boyfriend.. He never asks to hang out with me, and always pushes his flaws onto me and calls me out for things I never do, but he does. What do I do?
2 Answers
Last Updated: 03/02/2019 at 9:37pm
Moderated by
Lindsay Scheinerman, MA, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
My work with clients is to help them recognize and build on their strengths to find solutions for the conflicts presented in their lives.
Top Rated Answers
For the past few months or so, I have also become unhappy in my relationship and everything that surrounded me irritated me as well. I started blaming my boyfriend on things and even while I was depressed, I pushed him away a bit as he tried to help me. I guess in a way that was what drove him to be unhappy. Now, we barely talk because out of the blue, he decided to go on a break in the relationship. The point is even if you aren't happy with your boyfriend, talk to him about it. Communication is an important factor. He might be acting out in this behavior because he could be stressed and unhappy as well. If he is willing to do so, I would strongly recommend sitting down and talk things through with him. I wish you the very best of luck!
It sounds like communicating through this is the way to start. The first would be to try not and have the conversation when you both are already upset then try to talk. I always advise couples to use "I statements" when talking to keep the conversation focused on the problematic behaviors not accuse the person. So you could say something like "I feel unhappy when you push your flaws onto me when I do not believe I did anything". Then you can try and follow up with another question like "What has been going on with you to make you feel that way?" If things persist despite having this conversation then perhaps other options should be explored.
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