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How can I deal with someone that is acting like a 'diva'?

95 Answers
Last Updated: 05/22/2022 at 9:00pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
Helpingangel2309
October 7th, 2018 7:09pm
We'll , to be honest I'll try my best to help the person because at the end of the day we know at some cases it may be as a facade they wear to not get hurt or used again . As they say you can't really judge a book as it's cover so even if I have to face criticism or it gets to a point where the other person is just stubborn or aggnorant he/she may only know it gets irritating but I'll try my best to be patient and show and guide the person away from darkness towards the light. At the end of the day I can't make everyone happy but I'll be glad that I atleast did try. For example there are some cases where people don't really need help but message you to see how things work or how you deal with a problem but it's not your fault . No matter what really the situation is I know I did my best and even if that one word or sentence changes the other person's life for the better is way more than enough for me because I know how it feels name it from being in an abusive family to bullying , axienty to anorexia I just want to help people so they don't make mistakes like me
Anonymous
June 25th, 2020 9:20pm
It can be hard to handle or be around someone who acts like a diva. However, it is important to realize that they may be struggling with something in their personal life, and this is how they behave to cope. Just try not to let their attitude or behavior effect you in a personal way. On the other hand, do want to still treat them kindly, no matter how they treat you. And if their behavior does start to negatively affect you, it is okay to excuse yourself from the conversation. The important thing to take away from this is that you never know what someone is going through and how they cope, so try not to jump to conclusions or be harsh.
comfortableRainbow89
August 12th, 2018 2:15am
Open up to them. Get close to them. Be strong and act cold too but be interesting. Be funny so that you can break that person's wall down.
Anonymous
August 8th, 2018 5:28pm
If you think that she's not a "diva" just move on and go away. I mean, if you don't need this kind of person in your life just go away from her/him, if you need her just accept her/him.
Tvmv29
August 3rd, 2018 1:19am
That depends. If you don't like the person or the person is mean to you just try to be nice and stay away from that person and from drama. I'm sorry I can't give better advice
Anonymous
July 25th, 2018 2:39pm
Talk to them, or just ignore them. Don't make their problems yours or you'll feel bad about yourself
HopieRemi
July 7th, 2016 6:57am
I usually tell the person what I am feeling and let them know that it doesn't come off as well. I try to say it in a kind way.
RumpleSteeleSkin
July 21st, 2018 9:51pm
Respect that in them. I know- it is real hard to do this. But maybe they are very confident in their self esteem, they love themselves a whole lot!
FruityFloss
July 7th, 2018 10:28pm
From the wording of your question I feel as though we are similar and I think the same about some important people in my life. However, you have to understand that everyone reacts differently to situations and effects them to different extremities. Do your best to leave judgement behind and maybe by offering genuine support or trying to figure out why they’re acting this way you may find they calm down. Acting like a diva may be a form of subconscious attention seeking. However, at the same time if the person is being a “diva” do not let yourself be treated badly, and do not deal with toxicity.
Anonymous
September 13th, 2020 2:22am
I understand what it’s like to deal with someone with big egos and snarky personalities, so I get it. Dealing with people with diva-like personalities is tough but sometimes you just have to be a bigger person. Have you told the other person how you feel about them? Would you like to tell me more about this diva of yours? How does this persons diva like behavior affect you? How does this person make you feel? Do you want to get to know this person better? Maybe they aren’t as bad as you think they are. I encourage you to do what is best for you.
aniiavacado
October 22nd, 2021 4:21pm
If someone you know or care about is acting out as a 'diva' then maybe its time to take a stand and talk to them, politely obviously. Sometimes we need people around us to correct us whenever we are behaving in a problematic way. It's important for our friends and family to tell us what we're doing wrong in order to prevent us from making the same mistakes again. However, its also important that this is spoken about respectfully and without humiliating the person at hand. If the individual dismisses what you've said and continues to act out regardless of you efforts in trying to work things through then maybe its time to take a step back from the situation.
Anonymous
November 26th, 2021 5:20pm
Avoid attempting to control them into not being a diva because doing so will only get you more invested in them. "Divas" like to provoke people into getting invested in them, in self-defense, or in an argument. You won't always have the last word, but you don't have to. It doesn't make them right nor you cowardly. That's just you acknowledging to yourself that you've mentally arrived at the conclusion. Too bad the diva hasn't, but it's their loss. Everyone who matters (i.e. you, and whoever listens) has already heard what needs to be heard. There is no need to be overstated.
heartfulEndfoftherainbow3
January 16th, 2022 7:00pm
I can try to talk to them calmly and ask them how they are feeling. And what is making them feel the need to act in such a way. If they are not trying to engage or talk then offer myself and let them know that I am here when they want to talk about anything. Sometimes some space is good when people are just one way and are not open minded. Being able to understand different personalities and ways people are and can express themselves is important. Some people are "Divas" because they have pain and hurt beneath all that sass they portray. It is not always a bad thing for it might be their defense mechanism.
Anonymous
September 24th, 2021 3:33pm
I would appreciate that person. It can be their strength. Who knows? That can improve their lives. If it becomes unhealthy, perhaps I can make them realize such a thing. I will be the one to encourage them to use such a character to make their lives meaningful. That can be my greatest satisfaction. If such a thing becomes a distraction, I will be compassionate to help them. If I cannot handle it very well, perhaps I can encourage them to go to therapy. However, as long as it does not harm them, I will let them be what they want. It is always a joyous experience to make somebody happy.
AriTheFaerie
May 29th, 2021 5:16am
You could try to figure out what makes them act towards other people the way they do. You should always approach them politely and in a controlled manner, it doesn’t help if you treat them like they treat you. You should try to have a calm conversation with them about the way they make you feel, as well as the way they make others feel. If they persist in making you feel inferior, if it is possible, it is better to distance yourself from people who make you feel this way. However if it is not possible, you should seek help from an authority figure who recognises that mutual respect is an environment necessary for learning/working/growth.
Anonymous
February 12th, 2022 4:30am
I usually wouldn't engage someone if they are acting like a diva, but if you have to deal with them, then I would recommend to try to limit the interaction as much as possible. Try to remain mature, professional, and calm. Try to be the better person by treating them the way you would want to be treated. Perhaps if you remain non-judgmental it could go a long way. You never know what is going on in another's life that may prompt them to behave like a diva so reaching harshly or negatively to them might worsen their behavior. At the same time, you don't need to bend over backwards backwards please them. You need to set clear boundaries on your behavior.
organticBlueberry5504
March 25th, 2021 9:04pm
if someone, such as your friend, is acting like a 'diva', the best thing to do would be to communicate to them that their behavior is not appreciated by you or anyone else. they must know that they should be more aware of how others feel and that although their feelings are valid, everything cannot be about them all the time. many times, people who act like divas may not even be aware that they are acting that way. moreover, it is important to communicate this to them in a kind and mature way, so that their feelings are not hurt.
Anonymous
February 27th, 2021 11:03am
I want to start off by saying, it is good you are seeking out help before confrontation. Not an easy person to deal with. If I am at work, I simply stay away from from them to avoid confrontation in a professional environment. People like this need attention to validate themselves. I would switch shifts. Another alternative is to get to know them. Some people seek attention because they are simply lonely or are going through some internal battle. To sympathized helps you walk in their shoes and can make them less annoying to you. Not an easy thing to do, but they might just share something with you that can set a lightbulb off in your head to understand their "diva-like-ways." No one ever wants to be friends with the diva, but to have a really open person sit with a person like this can help them realize they are not as "strong" as they are. We all need someone to understand our struggles. You don't even need to be friends, but it can teach you how to tolerate people better around you.
Anonymous
October 16th, 2020 1:41am
You can deal with someone that’s acting like a ‘diva by sitting down with them and having a conversation with them understanding why they are acting the way that they are. You can start talking to them and understand their perspective and why they are acting in that manner. once you figure it out, try talking to them about the issues you have. Tell them how you it makes you feel when they act in that manner and how it makes you feel unsafe with them and how you would like to see them treat you in a more respectful manner.
Anonymous
January 3rd, 2020 11:38am
This may depend on how close you are to this person. If you are a close friend of them it may be a good idea to talk to them about their habits and understand what they are feeling. However, if they are more of an acquaintance, there may be little you can do, if it is affecting your happiness the best way may be to cut them out of your life even though it may be harsh. It really depends on how close you are to them and how much this affects your mental health. Communication is often the best course of action but if that isn't possible sometimes it is better to let it go.
Anonymous
September 11th, 2020 2:34am
There are so many different types of people in the world. If everyone were the same, it would get rather boring. When you come across a person that is, in this case, a ‘diva’, it is easy to brush them off or ignore them. I feel dealing with a diva personality may get a little annoying, but you are unable to change a person. At this point, you should ask yourself if this person is someone you would like to be around and associate yourself with. If your answer is yes, then you need to know that they will sometimes act in ways that you don’t agree with. However, knowing you are unable to change this person allows you to look past the diva and appreciate them for who they really are.
comfortableCat5294
May 22nd, 2022 9:00pm
Ask yourself do I “have” to deal with them or are they completely out of my life and I have nothing to do with them. If you wonder what made them act that way though, please don’t go up and ask. I know it’s hard to keep it to yourself but most of the time it really isn’t about you and what you do. People are complicated and it all depends on how they were raised and where they lives and which habits they have. It could be true that whoever you were thinking of gives off “diva” vibes and may not be aware of that at all which could be why it is important to avoid bringing it to their mind since it is a negative association. You can however talk about it if they are your friends or family. You may say things like “I notice that sometimes your actions make me feel intimidated/controlled/unheard/etc. When you do xyz it made me unhappy. And so on. Please remember to be specific about what actions are difficult for you and how they make you feel. If you are still asking yourself that question and they arent part or your life: please think again about why you ask if you find any reason that makes them so significant for you
Anonymous
August 28th, 2020 3:47am
Let it roll off your back. If it's not hurting anyone, and you're not ready to deal with that attitude, go for a walk and let the diva be a diva without you around. If there is no escaping it, try meditating and deep breathing exercises to help calm your mind over this issue. This can be tiring so make sure to take your time away from the situation also. Your mental health should not be diminished due to this person being a diva. This can be really frustrating and annoying to deal with, but hopefully it's not a long term thing. I hope this helps.
Anonymous
August 17th, 2020 3:24am
Having to deal with someone acting like a diva is quite the struggle. For me personally, I find just stepping back and letting them have their moment is the best way to go. That way, you won't run the risk of them getting mad at you over something or being mean to them because you are annoyed. If they are constantly acting like a diva though, maybe they don't realize. You could try bringing it up with other friends who experience this person's actions and come up with a plan on how to talk to the diva about what is bothering you. If they do realize and that is just their personality, try to just engage in less conversation with them if it is really putting a tamper on your life.
Anonymous
July 24th, 2020 5:25pm
Sometimes you come across people whose personalities can frustrate you; hence, in your case, the ‘diva’. With difficult character traits often comes arguments or a tense atmosphere. The best way to deal with someone whose personality frustrates you is to minimize contact with them. Obviously this can only work to an extent; what if the person is a colleague, family member, boss? Instead you can pick them up on a specific thing they say that really gets on your nerves: voicing your opinion can get the idea across without it amounting to an argument. If you look at it from the other perspective (e.g. you were the person acting like a diva), perhaps you didn’t realize that this was the way you came across and perhaps someone saying something along the lines of “oh my days you’re so annoying because x, y, z” could be really hurtful. All things considered, the best things to say are polite but informative.
emtheguru
July 24th, 2020 1:12am
Take distance! 'Diva' people can be very draining to associate with, and even more so to try and change. If you have no choice but to be near them, i feel like the most appropriate solution to dealing with them, is to not seek direct confrontation, yet not either going along with everything they do. Maintain yourself as who you are, and if perhaps snapping on them might have negative repercussions on your life, take a breather, and wait until the day is over to maybe vent it all out somewhere. Seeking to understand and condone them is another effective way of dissipating your own frustration with them - all you have to know, is that 'diva's, as annoying as they are, are essentially not bad people, and might have severe issues of their own they have to deal with. Also, remember: you're not the only one who doesnt like this diva! So, relax, and I hope you will someday live a zen, diva-free life. xoxo
Anonymous
June 28th, 2020 1:27am
It really depends whether this "diva" is a close friend of yours or not, but if they're someone really close (enough to make an impact in your daily life) I would suggest to be very wary of everything that comes out of their mouth and filter the wrong from the right. Divas always have that holier-than-thou vibe which irks some people- and they always think they're right (no matter the action) and they always try to make everyone else follow them like their minions or followers or something. One weakness of divas though, is that they can't handle resistance. So when you become aware of what they're saying wrong versus the right, you have to learn to walk away or say no. They'll be surprised that not everyone "agrees" with their ways.
Anonymous
October 23rd, 2021 9:50am
What a great question! First, you should try and understand why this person is acting this way. Some people go through tough times and it causes them to act a certain way. Putting yourself in their shoes may help find some clarity. From personal experience, I would gently bring up the behavior in a conversation. Just asking if they are okay or if there’s anything they want to talk about can open up the floor for them to explain. You could also just simply tell them they are making you feel a certain way and if it’s possible to talk about it. Be transparent but also considerate about the other person’s feelings. Happy Healing!
Anonymous
September 7th, 2016 5:36am
don't mind his or her business and don't approach him/her about it because it may bring more problems ,let he/her be his/her self.
gongoozlersoup19
November 8th, 2017 5:45pm
What kind of relationship do you have with the "diva"? I would recommend setting boundaries with the person. First, identify what kind of interaction you want/are comfortable having with the individual and go from there.