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How can I stop being insecure in my relationship?

260 Answers
Last Updated: 05/10/2022 at 7:03am
How can I stop being insecure in my relationship?
★ This question about Relationship Stress was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lauren Abasheva, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.

Top Rated Answers
August 16th, 2015 1:57am
Just talking helps most of the time! Even if you don't have much courage to do so, I doubt your loved one will mind if you talk.
August 16th, 2015 10:31am
It takes change to stop being insecure in your relationship. Being able to trust more your partner, not allowing your doubts to creep in your thoughts and being more understanding to your partner's need are just some ways. Consider also personal issues that might cause your insecurities and share that to your partner. A partner who understands will work with you to help you get through it but it will not work if you will not be willing to change.
August 16th, 2015 3:00pm
I struggle with this every single day. I talk with my therapist about it regularly, and something I learned is that it's a two way street. They shouldn't give you room to feel insecure, but at the same time, you should also work on some things within yourself. As long as the two of you are putting in the effort, you'll get to the place where you feel more comfortable and secure. If something happens that makes you feel insecure, be sure to voice it. "That makes me feel -this way.-"
December 13th, 2015 12:28am
Telling your partner about your insecurity might relieve some pressure. Also, signs of insecurity will come out sooner or later, so it'll be less awkward, when your partner knows that side of your personality. Don't be ashamed of what you feel and tell your feelings the people you trust.
December 13th, 2015 3:51am
I think to stopping being insecure in a relationship is to first, try to identify the areas that are making you feel insecure. Secondly, to learn to turn your negative thoughts about yourself into positive ones and thirdly, understand that your partner wouldn't be with you if you weren't what they wanted.
December 13th, 2015 5:42am
Be open with your significant other about how you feel emotionally and where you stand in your relationship.
December 13th, 2015 4:15pm
Talk to your significant other, and tell them how you feel and listen to what they have to say, COMMUNICATION is the biggest factor in any relationship.
December 16th, 2015 9:32am
Write down your thoughts as if about someone else, Then think about what you would tell that person.
December 17th, 2015 12:36am
well first, communicate with your partner about your insecurities and see if they can help you and see what can be done OR see if you can find your triggers of you feeling insecure and try to overcome them.
December 17th, 2015 6:23am
to stop being insecure in my relationship I'll try to belive in my partner if I'will have any of doubt I'll try to clear in my own way
December 17th, 2015 7:15am
Insecurity is difficult for many to oversome--but it is possible. Discover what it is that makes you feel insecure--physical appearance, fear of abandonment, vunerability? Once you can label why you are feeling so unsure, then engage your partner. A relationship is teamwork--perhaps there is that little bit of communication that I'd absent, and this discussion could open new doors for you two.
December 17th, 2015 1:31pm
well, i think that we wil always be insecure if we dont believe in ourselves. we need to love and trust ourselves, if you can do that, im sure you wont be insecure in any relationship.
December 18th, 2015 7:50pm
Have an open and honest discussion about your insecurities with your partner, often times we misread actions and words internalizing a message that isn't there. The only way to have a happy and healthy relationship is through honest communication with your partner.
December 23rd, 2015 3:02pm
You can stop being so insecure in your relationship by not focusing on other people, and really focusing on you and your partner.
December 23rd, 2015 7:38pm
Everyone feels insecure at one time or another, be it about relationships, jobs, or life in general. You cannot stop feeling completely insecure, that is like stopping fear, which is not a good sign. The idea is to overcome unnecessary anxiety and insecurity. I remember what I did when I was insecure about my relationship. I would normally talk it out with my partner, and listen to her too. We would normally go for a walk every sunday for one hour just to talk about whatever was on our minds, and each person would get 10 minutes per turn, comprising of three turns each. And all the other person had to do was listen. Thiis helped me a lit in overcoming my anxiety and insecurity in my relationship.
December 25th, 2015 5:56pm
Talk to your partner about it. Maybe they can reassure you of all the things you are insecure about. Communication would be the key here
December 25th, 2015 7:03pm
Stop worrying about what hasn't happened yet. if it happens then u can worry about it, until then just enjoy ur relationship
December 27th, 2015 3:44pm
In order to stop being insecure in your own relationship you first have to make sure that you are comfortable within your own skin. Then when you accept who you are and become secure by yourself you will be completely secure within a relationship.
December 27th, 2015 11:22pm
Maybe you could to stop being so insecure about your relationship tell your partner how your feeling so they can reassure you :)
December 30th, 2015 11:47am
Invest in yourself, build your self confidence, acknowledge that you are a worthy human being with your strenght and your flaws. Don't hesitate to talk to your S.O. about your insecurity, relationships are a two way paths that you don't have to walk alone :)
December 30th, 2015 5:35pm
A lot of insecurities in relationships come from poor communication with significant others. If you talk to the other person in said relationship, you can discuss your concerns and confusions with them. It can also help to support sites such as 7cups to talk anonymously, if you are scared to do so in person. Having supporting people in your life that you can talk to is a major step towards being a healthy and happy you!
December 31st, 2015 8:39am
It depends. How do you make yourself feel insecure? What is this about? Are you afraid to lose your partner?
December 31st, 2015 7:41pm
It is possible to not be insecure in your relationship. Because if you are yourself and the other person fell in love with who you are, there should be no reason to doubt yourself. If the person decides to leave you, you don't have to blame yourself for that if you are merely being who you are inside.
January 1st, 2016 12:58pm
Talk to your partner about the insecurities in which you have. This will enable a stronger emotional connection and will also enable your partner to be aware of what makes you feel that way. It is important to always talk to your partner about anything you feel, as you are enabling yourself to have support to manage how you are feeling in a positive way.
January 1st, 2016 5:51pm
Personally, when I feel like that, I usually sit down with the person and discuss what they want out of this, and focus on that. Yeah, we do get insecure where we think they will leave us and move on with someone else, or we may lose them. But if that happens, then it's not the end of the world.. They just wasn't the one. However, we need to think of the positives to not push them away, as always being insecure and them realizing it can make them feel like they're not being trusted.
January 3rd, 2016 4:55am
Learn how to trust your partner. If you simply can't, they're not the right one for you right now. I'd say either find someone you can trust, or choose to focus on yourself for a while. As harsh as it may sound, YOU might be the issue here.
January 3rd, 2016 5:42am
The best thing to do when you are feeling insecure in your relationship is to speak with your partner about your concerns. I felt very insecure in my relationship at the beginning due to the different "popularity" levels my s/o and I had. I usually would take out my frustrations on him, causing fights which made me feel even worse. Finally, I opened up to him and he made me feel so much better about myself and my insecurities, though they did not go away completely, definitely went to the back of my mind rather than the front. We are now married with a baby on the way :)
January 6th, 2016 12:15am
Find security within yourself, then reevaluate your relationship with fresh eyes and new confidence.
January 6th, 2016 5:10am
Open lines of communication. Try to engage the other person with statements about how you feel and why. And before that, be sure to examine your thoughts. Don't judge them as good or bad, but let them pass across your mental stage. That way you can start to think about things more objectively and stop assuming. If you make accusations about the other person just based on your own thoughts, you might wind up doing more damage than you'd like.
January 6th, 2016 8:18pm
Hello, to answer your question because I think the best way that you will not be plowing insecure in your relationship is talking this with your partner and pointing out what is really affecting you and you feel you are doing that. The best ways to solve a problem is through a chat. Now if it's hard talk or you feel sorry, you better write you a letter telling you is happening. Have a nice day!