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How can I stop being insecure in my relationship?

260 Answers
Last Updated: 05/10/2022 at 7:03am
How can I stop being insecure in my relationship?
★ This question about Relationship Stress was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lauren Abasheva, LMHC

Licensed Professional Counselor

A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.

Top Rated Answers
January 6th, 2016 11:55pm
Be very open and sincere about everything. Be loving and sincere to him/her and don't hold back!! :)
January 9th, 2016 11:24am
When you're going into relationship you must to trust the other person,If you want from him/her to trust you too.Also remember more insecurity into relationship can cause problems..
January 13th, 2016 9:30pm
Sit down with your partner and express your feelings, thoughts and worries to him/her, it may help you over come your insecurities,
February 22nd, 2016 1:16pm
Talk through with your partner things that are making you insecure. If you feel like you can't do this, either because you aren't confident enough or feel like your insecurities aren't valid, you shouldn't be with this partner. A healthy relationship should have full open communication. If even after you talked it through with your partner you still feel insecure about anything concerning the relationship (i.e. trust on the other etc...) , consider your relationship.
March 18th, 2016 8:27am
When you're secure with yourself then insecurities in relating to people should vanish. Get comfortable with your aloneness, confident with who you are, and step into your power, and this shouldn't be a problem for you
March 18th, 2016 11:19pm
You are always going to start from insecurity then build up to being none insecurity overtime in relationships.
March 26th, 2016 6:52am
This is a tough one as it depends on the reasons for the insecurities. Of course it can happen because we can be hurt from past relationships, however we have to learn to not judge by others mistakes. Don't worry about what MIGHT happen and start living
March 26th, 2016 6:55pm
This depends on your situation, if you do not trust your partner, this can not be a relationship. A relationship is a promise, unlimited trust, etc. If it's a lack of self-esteem know that we are all filled with flaws. But you can over come them! This person you're with, whether a friend, parent, or boyfriend/girlfriend should be comfortable to talk to you about what troubles you. Have confidence!
April 1st, 2016 3:02pm
Put yourself all for that relationship. Don't just stand and be worrying about it. Try to do what is right.
April 2nd, 2016 8:44am
The way you stop being insecure with your relationship is by finding out what it is you are insecure with inside of you. Not knowing yourself and your own insecurities can be harmful and self destructive. If you are secure with yourself then you will be secure with your relationship, also knowing that you are secure with your decision to give yourself to another, all because you deserve a good person and you won't settle for less, so maybe look in the mirror and find yourself and why you are so insecure with your relationship. thanks xx
April 2nd, 2016 9:58pm
Tell them how you feel or be with someone who is considerate of your feelings/ someone that makes you feel comfortable in your own skin
June 5th, 2016 1:20pm
Once you realise that if the person your with wants to be with you then they will stay, if they don't they are worth you being insecure.
June 5th, 2016 8:05pm
You can stop being insecure about your relationship understanding that the other person is with you because he/she chose to be like that. Not because there isn't other alternative. Nowadays people break up qhen they want. If it's not your case, then no need to worry.
June 9th, 2016 1:22am
Feeling insecurity in a relationship can be quite troublesome. My own personal experiences have taught me that it's good to discuss these insecurities with your partner and / or friends. Discussing these problems with the people you know best can give you perspective. If that doesn't give you the answer you think is right, I'd recommend you to seek out a therapist.
June 10th, 2016 8:35am
My trusting your partner and giving them the freedom to be what they are. When you are not insecure, he/she will start to express more.
July 11th, 2016 9:28am
take a long time to choose my partner before going in any relation and know the personality more and more
April 10th, 2017 2:54pm
No relationship can succeed with out 2 people working together and having open communication if your struggling or feeling insecure you need to convey that to your partner
June 13th, 2017 1:45pm
Believe that you are lovable and that you are worthy of positive regard. Feelings of insecurity might crop up, and while they do, try to remember that you are deserving of love and positive regard.
February 23rd, 2021 7:24pm
I would suggest allowing yourself to be open to trusting someone, it's definitely hard but telling yourself that this is an important aspect in a relationship really helps. Try to ask your partner for reassurance when needed be if he/she is ofcourse okay with that. Maybe that would help you feel like you are trsuting him/her and will push through the doubts. Also, maybe you should look back to why there is mistrust in the realtionship and try to find solutions that work for you don't be scared to try new things and see what helps you best. :)
May 10th, 2022 7:03am
You need to build a good foundation. I understand that we all are results of compound situations in our childhood which is usually the root of lack of the trust and feeling security while being in a intimate relationship or any other relationship in our lives. This is my personal opinion, I started working on myself because i hardly trusted anyone and was highly insecure about myself without even realising. It made me toxic unintentionally and would lead to unnecessary fights or argument and thus the pain. I sat and thought things out, it took me months to work on. Firstly I started journaling my feelings. write it down. Regardless how it sounds or if it's rational or not. Then i started applying some techniques of CBT. that is breaking down and dissecting my thinking pattern. I would ask myself, what happened? How does that make feel? Then... Is that what actually happened? Or did I perceive something due to my truama filter? Was my reaction rational? What possibly could trigger me? With my relationship, i started involving my partner. I would take a break when enraged then come back with cool mind and tell him how i felt and why. He responded better. Slowly we build repor and our foundation got stronger with time. Next, self worth is super important when it comes to insecurity. When you are in a relationship, you should be sure to have a life of your own. Your life shouldn't resolve around the relationship. Thays a part of your life, not your life. Keep your hobbies and engage with friends. Alot of people fail to do so which results in clingyness which is usually the result of insecurity and fear of abandonment and loneliness.