How do I stop being so clingy towards my partner?
Last Updated: 11/24/2020 at 11:50pm
Lianne Kirby, MA in Counselling Psychology
I believe everyone should have the opportunity for their voice to be heard. I use a trauma informed, person centred approach in counselling.
Top Rated Answers
Clinginess is often due to the insecurity we feel about a relationship continuing and the fear of abandonment we may feel: we hold tight trying to not let the relationship slip away. This often has the contrary affect and our partner may want to pull away the tighter we cling. One way out of clinging is to face our own beliefs about what can really give us security. This can lead us to new insights on life and its uncertainties plus where our real strength and support is, within us. Accepting change as inevitable, if that is possible where we are right now, can help lead us to a more secure feeling based on our inside strength and less on the people and circumstances we sometimes try to prop us up, as a crutch. So how do we find our own inner strength? There are many ways, but some ways that work for people I know are exercise, yoga, tai chi, mindfulness, service to others, and self reflection. Finding our center and finding how to ground our energies could be a way to gain the confidence to loosen our grip.
Find a distraction of your own (like sports, an activity or visit friends) that will stop you from thinking about your partner thus preventing you from missing your partner more
I don't believe "caring less" makes you lead "clingy." It is not unnatural to want to be close to the person you are with, but if you are jealous or work to impede upon the other relationships they're involved in, then you need to speak to this person about how you're feeling, and address your own feelings. Why is this person's attention more important than anyone else's? Is it possible that you may need to spend more time reflecting on the things you can do for yourself and your individuality?
Understanding my partner needs and respect that she requires, time or space apart can be a good thing with small communication even if its a phone call or a few texts, also strong trust bond is vital and great communication will help ... remember we all need space to breath and personal time from your partner, understand each other needs and build a strong foundation in the relationship is the most important part.
Ask yourself why you are acting like that. Is it because you are disturbed by something your partner does or doesn't? Is it because you've had other partners making you feel a bit jealous or afraid you might lose them? Maybe there are even other reasons you are clingy? Identify the reason. Also who says you are "so clingy"? Is it your partner, your friends, yourself? Don't be afraid to see yourself from the bigger picture without judging your actions based solely on a single point of view.
That depends on your relation ship and its dynamics. It is a trusting partnership? Do you feel insecure? Do they have a history of cheating? or perhaps you just need to be reassured of their feelings for you
What's been helpful for me personally is by starting to focus on myself. Remembering what attracted my partner to me in the first place & working on that.
Why do you want to stop? Found someone accepts who you are. If even you think it is a bad problem, then try to change. Most guys love clingy girlfriend.
well acknowledging clingy behavior is a great first step towards resolving this. Looking further to establish why or the triggers for clinginess also goes a long way in dealing with the core issue. Sometimes its because we have long standing trust issues or feel like undeserving which points to esteem issues. It could also be that your partner has given you a reason to be doubtful of them and hence not trust them. Not being actively engaged in other things can also lead to a bit of obsession around the relationship A healthy sense of self awareness and being secure in your identity would go a long way in resolving this. Also focusing on other things that grow you as an individual and bring you joy and fulfillment would take your mind and energy off your partner and effectively dealing with some of the clinginess.
If being clingy is an issue in your relationship, you should discuss boundaries with your partner: both your boundaries and their own. Learn what they are so they can be set and respected. Ponder why you are so clingy. Is it a trust issue? Does it stem from some kind of trauma? Explore options to find the root of the problem and develop new habits to incorporate into the relationship. Communication and respect is key. Some ideas: Open communication with your partner about why you are clingy. Spend more time doing hobbies or work towards goals that are separate from your partner. Spend time with friends away from your partner. Invest in a way to express how you feel and emotionally unload: writing, painting, or other pursuits you find fulfilling.
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