How do I stop thinking about the quarrel I had with my friend?
Last Updated: 07/23/2018 at 6:23pm
Melissa Strauss, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I am client focused and believe everyone has a strength. I feel confident in seeing clients with generalized and social anxiety, depression and relational goals.
Top Rated Answers
It can be difficult to move past a quarrel with a friend because though we want to get back to a positive and enjoyable relationship with them, we still want our feelings in a given matter to be validated. At some level, we may not feel that our thoughts were appreciated or our feelings were considered, so part of us still wants some kind of resolution or closure on the matter. Part of moving past the quarrel may lie in looking outside of ourselves for a moment to consider their thoughts and feelings. We want them to do this for us, so it can't hurt to do it for them. Seeing the validity of their side might help motivate a conversation of why your side also has validity, leading to better reciprocity of respect in the friendship.
Perhaps you're angry or feeling fearful that you had a fall out with a friend of yours, one that clearly matters alot to you. Learning to accept that thinking about it won't change what has happened is a good way to start.
I suggest simply venting to a friend and or someone on this website about it or just thinking about something else or doing your favorite hobbies or activities.
Resolve the issue you quarreled about with your friend. Don't run away from it, it'll only make you feel worse.
Recognize that we are all uniquely woven and therefore, we are all entitled to differences of opinion. It is for this reason that we, as humans, are so often caught up in quarrels and arguments. You may find that simply forgiving the other person AND yourself will provide a huge sense of relief.
what aspect do you think about ? it makes you feel upset and sad ? or do you feel like you one of you should apologized? or is it a quarrel over something serious or something silly ? once you identified that then you can make a decision that best suit your situation.
You could try talking about it with your friend. Putting your thoughts out in the open for them to know, usually makes you feel better about the situation.
If you hold on to the past and the small quarrels that you had together it will destroy your friendship that you guys have. Is it worth the effort holding on to it.
If you really want to get your mind off of a fight with your friend, the best thing that works for me is to engage in a hobby that I deeply love and enjoy!
Try and distract yourself. Indulge yourself with things that make you happy! Do you have any hobbies? A particular song/album that takes you away, so to speak? It's quite difficult moving on from something that you haven't resolved so I hope you manage/managed to resolve the issue :) You can message me at any time, I'd love to help! :)
You can always take time to think about what happened and why. You can make a list of pros about your friend and why they are in your life. And perhaps once you see all the great qualities in front of you it will help you to see what a great friend you may have and allow you two to work on your relationship.
Think about your favorite things to do, with or without your friend. Focus on the things that make you happy and what you enjoy doing. Your happiness is what's most important to you!
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