How to stop my boyfriends Mother from making all our holiday and vacation plans for us?

Hey, that is very frustating. I can imagine you'd want to make some plans and get some time alone with your boyfriend, instead of your boyfriend's mother to decide everything for you two... I'd suggest you'd first talk about it with your boyfriend. There's a chance he wants the exact same thing as you. Then the two of you could approach her saying something like 'Mom, you know we love you and love to spend week X with you doing those things you love. It's one of the few opportunities we have to spend time with you, but it's also one of the few opportunities we have to spend time with each other without the stress of (work/school/________fill in the blanks) surrounding us. So after week X, we really need week Y and Z for ourselves.' Your boyfriend probably knows best how to bring something like that to her, this way is just a suggestion of course.

I can understand how this can make things difficult for you. It sounds like you want to be able to make your own plans for the holidays and vacations with your boyfriend. The easiest answer could be to have a talk with her and how it makes you feel when she makes the plans. However, depending on her personality and yours, and if you two get along, how to proceed with that conversation is key. Try to approach in a loving way, not to make it sound accusatory or rude. Be honest about what it is you are needing from her. Talk to your boyfriend as well and see what he says about the situation so he can provide the best support to you. I hope everything works out for you all!

Talk to the boyfriend and explain that we need time for us and try to schedule her visit at a time when we can be more available for her. Alternatively use her presence to facilitate trips so in our case, she looked after the dogs while we went away . It would have been difficult to organise without her willingly taking care of the dogs. This way we got to spend some quality time together and she didn't dominate the entire holiday . It was frustrating as her visit was not discussed with me nor my permission asked and it took me taking my boyfriend to one side and insisting we made some time for us