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How to stop my boyfriends Mother from making all our holiday and vacation plans for us?

2 Answers
Last Updated: 06/25/2020 at 7:34pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lindsay Scheinerman, MA, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

My work with clients is to help them recognize and build on their strengths to find solutions for the conflicts presented in their lives.

Top Rated Answers
June 25th, 2020 11:44am
Hey, that is very frustating. I can imagine you'd want to make some plans and get some time alone with your boyfriend, instead of your boyfriend's mother to decide everything for you two... I'd suggest you'd first talk about it with your boyfriend. There's a chance he wants the exact same thing as you. Then the two of you could approach her saying something like 'Mom, you know we love you and love to spend week X with you doing those things you love. It's one of the few opportunities we have to spend time with you, but it's also one of the few opportunities we have to spend time with each other without the stress of (work/school/________fill in the blanks) surrounding us. So after week X, we really need week Y and Z for ourselves.' Your boyfriend probably knows best how to bring something like that to her, this way is just a suggestion of course.
June 25th, 2020 7:34pm
I can understand how this can make things difficult for you. It sounds like you want to be able to make your own plans for the holidays and vacations with your boyfriend. The easiest answer could be to have a talk with her and how it makes you feel when she makes the plans. However, depending on her personality and yours, and if you two get along, how to proceed with that conversation is key. Try to approach in a loving way, not to make it sound accusatory or rude. Be honest about what it is you are needing from her. Talk to your boyfriend as well and see what he says about the situation so he can provide the best support to you. I hope everything works out for you all!