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I recently got married, i'm 20 years old. A lot of people tell me that they bet i'll be divorced by 21. How can i stop their hate from getting to me?

15 Answers
Last Updated: 06/15/2021 at 7:57pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jackie Dross, M.S. Community Counseling


I have a passion for working with people from a non-judgmental, strengths based approach to meet their goals for personal growth.

Top Rated Answers
March 20th, 2017 3:07pm
Congratulations! It's hard when people are negative, but you'll just have to ignore them. My spouse and I got married when we were 19 and 21. We're still happily married at 31 and 33. When everybody said we wouldn't last, I didn't even honor them with a response. Don't waste energy focusing on negative comments from negative people. Focus on you, your spouse, and your marriage.
March 21st, 2017 5:14am
You can stop there hate from getting to you by knowing that you're in a happy, healthy and loving relationship. The greatest way to stop their hate altogether would be to prove them wrong by focusing on yourself and your partner and enjoying you happiness.
March 15th, 2017 4:29am
One life lesson that has transformed people's lives is realizing that haters will hate, lairs will lie, cheaters will cheat, etc. People will say what they want but what they say doesn't matter if you don't agree with them. If you don't agree with them, don't let ther opinions interfer with your life. People hate because they have a miserable life, so they will only point out the negative, or find a negative somehow. Their words about you, is reflection of them.
March 16th, 2017 3:24pm
First, Congratulations! It's hard to ignore it when people say mean things, but that's what you have to do. "Thanks for your opinion, have a nice day." Don't spend time around people who are negative to you. Just focus on you, your spouse, and your marriage, not on what negative people have to say about your marriage. I got married right out of high school, a lot of people said it wouldn't last, but we've been happily married for 12 years. Enjoy your marriage. Pay attention only to those who congratulate you, not those who bring you down.
May 1st, 2017 9:09pm
Just know that your marriage is your own deal, and that the rumor said by many usually isn't true. But, do research on your own and look at the real numbers that do talk about those things. Make sure you and your wife are really in it together, faithful and love each other. That'll always prove to those they are wrong and you know how to control and keep a solid relationship. You'll be okay.
October 9th, 2017 11:35pm
The best idea is that to get distant from people who think that way. However, sometimes you really cant avoid people. You dont need to explain yourself, or you will allow people to comment on your desicions. If somebody told you "you will be divorced at 21" just simply answer "nobody knows about future, but I feel awesome today! :)"
October 24th, 2017 4:07am
Don't focus on them, instead focus on making your life fun and comfortable with your partner. Once they see the love between you and your significant other, they'll stop hating on your relationship. If not, then it doesn't matter because you know you've got your favourite person right by your side
November 16th, 2017 12:42am
I got married at 16 and he was 21. Against all odds we are together at 40 and 45. Its possible but not easy. Let the little things go and dont overlook big things.
December 5th, 2017 4:59am
Ask others that you know, that are still married, at what age did they get married. You will eventually see that love and marriage and how long it will last has absolutely nothing to do with your age! No couple is the same and you are in love and married and that is all you need to know. As far as our future, everyday is unforeseen in every aspect of our life, enjoy it while you can.
December 8th, 2017 8:47am
You will find your answer in your question itself. As you said, its is 'their hate' , and you are you. You are not them. You are already aware of that, which is great. This self awareness will help you cope with the negativity floating around. And hearty Congratulations !!
February 26th, 2018 8:35am
Remember to keep smiling and tell them you are grateful having met the most wonderful man in your life.
September 17th, 2019 8:53pm
Everyone has doubts sometimes. It's not your fault if you feel at all like the mean and judgmental assumptions others are making about your relationship with your significant other might "get to you." As unwavering as our love for someone might be, it's still difficult to not be hurt by the inconsiderate words of those around us. But you and your significant other must have gotten married because you are very close, and nothing can break the bond between the two of you as long as you communicate. So if you're worried about the things other people saying about your relationship getting to you, you should tell your significant other what's being said and how it's making you feel. They should be able to provide you with some kind of reassurance. Just remember - it's your life, and yours alone. You make your decisions, and you do what you want to do. The other people...they don't know everything about your life, or your circumstances; they don't know anything about what it's like to be you, or to be married to this person, or how much love you have for each other. Don't focus on them.
March 9th, 2020 6:37pm
Hi. I got married at the same age. My husband and I have been together for eight years. One thing I can say is as advice is to listen to each other. You'll have your fights and disputes but as long as you're motivated and want. A stick through it all you will get through it together and that's what matters most. Working together as a team. Getting through it together. Kindly. Respectfully, lovingly. Together. And as long as you are going through this happily and health that is where it all comes into play. Just be there for each other.
January 19th, 2021 11:34pm
First off, congratulations on your marriage! That’s really exciting and I’m happy for you! That’s definitely something I’ve heard people say too and the first thing I’d understand is that the people who say that are making a generalization and assuming a lot, both of which aren’t good things. Try and remind yourself that you know yourself and your relationships best. The people who are telling you this, they are not in your marriage. They are not your spouse. You and your spouse know what’s best for you guys, not outsiders. Also, remember that different people are ready for things at different times. Many people aren’t ready to get married at twenty. That’s totally fine. You were though, and that’s totally fine too. Everyone has their own different and totally valid life path.
June 15th, 2021 7:57pm
You need to have 'faith' in 'your' wisdom. Most problems you face in life are only because you put more power in what others think about you and your actions. You need to change this tendency, once you do that you will feel more powerful and in control of your married life and life in general. Also, it seems that these 'people' are are simply hating the good things in life in general due to their own bad experiences. Please do not get effected by them. Learn the skill of mutually existing with negative and positive poeple both without them getting to you!!! And lastly, I wish you a really happy married life :)