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I've been doing well with my divorce and becoming a single parent for a year now. Suddenly, today I'm remembering things I had forgotten about him and feeling VERY sad and lonely. Is this normal?

4 Answers
Last Updated: 01/13/2020 at 8:29am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Courtney Cline, MS in Psychology and MS in criminal Justice

Counselor

I have 15 years exeperience in working with clients suffering from depression and substance abuse. I have worked with children and adults and believe in a holistic view.

Top Rated Answers
nitinyadav
January 13th, 2020 8:29am
Divorce is never a easy task. Hope you have taken this decision in betterment of yourself. As you are a parent also. It's a bit normal . And it will take time to vanish his memories either they are good or bad. But You know nobody is perfect in relationship. We have to make our relation perfect. In each and every person we like some of his/her things and we also do hate some of his /her habits. Of course. Now if you want to get rid of the things soon . Then stand strong against such thoughts about him which are making you weak again. Focus on yourself and your future and your child's. Keep yourself engage in activities and chores. Don't remember the past things
helenzhang19
April 3rd, 2018 4:08pm
I think it's normal. We never can predict when things are gonna hit us. You might haven't grieved properly or you're probably under a lot of pressure right now. But I'd say that's normal :)
Jing2010
December 25th, 2018 11:55pm
Yes, I do think this is quite normal. I would like to take this opportunity to ask you to concentrate on these things that you had forgotten about him as well as those annoying quirks and habits that he had. Study on them and weigh them carefully. Habits and quirks can be worked out. Time apart gives us a chance, not only to think about the other person, but to reflect upon ourselves and our own short comings. If there is a chance at a reconciliation somewhere in the future, you owe it to yourself and your child or children to see if it is possible. Never underestimate the power of love. What once was may still be and definitely can be again. It just depends on if both parties are willing to work at it. Please check out the book "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.
Elot
June 17th, 2019 3:22pm
This is completely normal. Despite how things may turn out in a relationship, there will always be amazing moments to look back on. Feeling nostalgic for those things that don't currently exist can often leave people to feel sad, angry, upset, vulnerable, etc. While this is not always the most pleasant way to feel, especially when you feel that you are making so much progress to "move on", this doesn't necessarily mean that you should try to avoid these feelings or thoughts at all costs. So long as you are not consumed by them, reflecting on your past relationships, the good, bad, and the ugly, is part of building acceptance and the moving on process. People who are loved will always be a part of us. They contributed to who we are today and there is no shame in allowing yourself to become emotional or missing those times. Good luck and stay strong!