I’ve cheated on my girlfriend in the 1st few months, but don’t want to tell her, i want to have a future with her, how do I do this?
3 Answers
Last Updated: 02/22/2022 at 8:01pm
Moderated by
Jill Kapil, PsyD
Psychologist
I have over 9 years of clinical experience, specialize in anxiety, and am passionate about my work. My approach is collaborative, empathic, supportive, and goal-oriented.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
August 17th, 2020 2:37am
You can absolutely have a future if that's what you both want. Openness is very healthy in a relationship, and necessary for true and great communication. I've had experience with infidelity as a wife, and it's hard to deal with at first. But understanding each other's feelings and validating them is super helpful. But having secrets kept from me was the worst for our relationship, long term, because it erodes trust. And having that trust is emotionally stabilizing, I'm sure you can see. So I would start with looking at yourself and seeing what you personally *need* to communicate going forward. It's hard but worth it. That feeling of trust can be rebuilt if you set goals with each other.
Anonymous
July 27th, 2021 6:42pm
You need to be honest with her in order to give yourself the relief you need to be happy with her the rest of the future. Otherwise, you will feel guilty and you wont able to relax and enjoy the relationship without this guilty voice in your head. Honesty will be the best way to move forward. Tell her how you feel and how you would really like to move past the mistake you have done. The first step would always be honesty and the second will be happiness. It is the key to your happiness. Good luck I wish you the best.
Honestly, honesty is the best policy. If you want to have a future with her, it shouldn't be based on lies because when she finds out, (and she will), it will show that you are not trustworthy. If you want to move forward, you have to show that regardless of the out, she has a choice in the situation. And this "situation" is life; if you take away her choice, you might as well end it now because she has a say so in her life.
Ask yourself this: if the roles were reversed, how would I want her to treat this situation? Would I want my choices taken away, because her needs are more important?
We don't always get what we want, especially if what we want involves a painted picture of the truth, instead of the truth itself.
It could go either way, she could admire you for your honesty or she won't. At least your integrity is in tact.
Again it's your choice.
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