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my boy friend broke up with me without a warning. left me a foreign land. two days without any communication. then sends email that he is breaking up with me. he is not giving me closure. what to do?

5 Answers
Last Updated: 05/09/2022 at 9:05pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Brenda King, PsyD

Psychologist

I treat life changes, women’s issues, and issues of aging using evidence-based treatments with healthy doses of warmth, empathy and humor to enhance healing and growth.

Top Rated Answers
agreeablePear1607
June 30th, 2018 6:43pm
im kinda going through similar. Do you want anything from someone who doesnt want to be with you? Will whatever he says make a difference. No matter what he or you say now will change his mind. you need to do No contact. look it up. Dont be a doormat. I know it hurts but you need to have some respect for yourself. There are better people out there.
Pumpkin74
July 10th, 2018 2:57am
I am so sorry to hear this happened. It must have been devastating to hear this news. Depending on someone who communicated this way to give you closure may not happen. While never knowing can be hard, one thing to remember is we can not control what others do, but we can control ourselves and our reactions! Getting through a break up is never easy but you are not alone and working on yourself and your healing is a great way to start!
Anonymous
May 30th, 2018 2:36am
Simply tell him you won't deal with that kind of behavior. No one should be treated like that and if he respects you, he can respect that you don't want that kind of treatment.
Anonymous
March 29th, 2022 2:24am
I'm so sorry about the fact that he isn't giving you closure, that is an absolutely horrible thing for him to do! What I recommend is that you find it yourself and try not to rely on him for it! You could go out with your friends and do something enjoyable! You need not forget that he was your boyfriend, but try and do things that you did before he was there! In this way you are not forgetting that he existed or even ignoring his presence, rather you are moving on from him in a positive and mature light! This will give you the closure that he was not able to!
Anonymous
May 9th, 2022 9:05pm
First of all, we have to accept the fact that we cannot control other people and we cannot make them do something that they do not want to do. Sometimes we need closure from others because we are either hoping to make things work out between us. Other times, it's just because we want to save our self-respect. Either way, we cannot really do anything about it if the other person does not want to comply. I personally think that sometimes looking for closure will just hurt us more. There is something peaceful about accepting what has happened and there is nothing to be done about it. Look back in your relationship. Do you think that this relationship that you had with your now ex-boyfriend is worth it? I believe that people do have reasons why they leave. But from the little information that you've shared it seemed like your ex-boyfriend had some things that he has hidden for you. Think of it this way, don't you think it was better that your relationship already ended before things got worse later in life?