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My husband is a violent man but I cheated on him. Should I tell him?

4 Answers
Last Updated: 03/13/2018 at 8:30pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Brenda King, PsyD


I treat life changes, women’s issues, and issues of aging using evidence-based treatments with healthy doses of warmth, empathy and humor to enhance healing and growth.

Top Rated Answers
- Expert in Relationship Stress
March 9th, 2018 1:05pm
I am sorry to hear about it. As you mentioned your husband is violent. So in such case, if you tell him, probably it will lead to violence. So, first take care of your safety and maybe later when situation seem bit calm and better for both, you may think to share? Before taking decision about telling him the truth, please consider how will he respond to it and if you ready to face such response? Based on it, you could decide what to do. I hope it helps!
March 6th, 2018 7:52pm
i personally feel that you should put your safety first. if you're afraid that you may get seriously hurt by telling him this, then i would personally refrain from telling him and removing yourself from the situation with him as it sounds like you're in a risky situation being with a violent person.
March 13th, 2018 8:30pm
Put your safety first always. You mentioned that you cheated, does that mean that the relationship is not satisfying you or giving you the things that you need to be happy? In this case, I don't think it's a matter of telling him or not, but figuring out what it means that you have cheated on him and figuring out what you want going forward. What would be the purpose of telling him? To get forgiveness and move forward? Or do you no longer want to be in the relationship? I think for now, think about all of the possible outcomes if you do and don't tell him. Keep in mind your safety at all times. If your husband tends to get violent with you physically or verbally, then I would refrain from telling him until you figure out what you want. If nothing good will come of telling him, I wouldn't. You also have to think about if he were to find out, what would happen? Lots to think about. Please take some time to consider everything and please be safe. Don't do anything, unless you are sure and have thought about the consequences.
March 12th, 2018 11:56am
Yes, but ask yourself why you cheated on him? Do you want to still be in your marriage? Ask him to meet you in a public place, be calm and tell him that you need to talk. It takes incredible guts to do this, but you will feel better for doing so.