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What's the best way to deal with emotional blackmail from a partner?

66 Answers
Last Updated: 01/15/2021 at 4:23pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Lindsay Scheinerman, MA, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

My work with clients is to help them recognize and build on their strengths to find solutions for the conflicts presented in their lives.

Top Rated Answers
friendlyTree1443
August 19th, 2020 10:51pm
break all relationship with regards to that thing and complete with him/her. leaving them happy and most importantly that you are happy. It is a really bad thing happened and you can learn from it. There is a trust that person have broken. If you are sure that thing is for real then you should take a step as soon as possible and find out a way to complete. If it was about a business than you can have a new partner or you can separate I think the same is in relationship. Always remember to who you are and don't let them down you.
ph14
September 18th, 2020 6:44am
I have never been in a rewarding, fulfilling relationship that involved emotional blackmail. It's not always possible to end these kinds of relationships, and it's rarely easy, but if that's an option I have always been better off ending the relationship. If that's not an option, at least at the time, then I have had to draw firm boundaries within that relationship. I had help from a professional counselor in learning how to create and maintain boundaries, but there are other resources that can help with that learning process. I've found it important to seek support from wherever it's available. It might be worth exploring the relationships community here on 7cups!
calmingturtles369
September 20th, 2020 2:31am
The best way to deal with this is to understand that you are in a toxic relationship. Emotional blackmail is never okay, and for your partner to do this to you is absolutely wrong. No one deserves to be treated like this, including you. Everyone deserves to be happy, and no matter what you do, it is important to recognize that your partner is toxic, and to take their blackmail with a grain of salt. Threatening behavior is not okay, and you should not have to be put in the situation where you have to walk around eggshells. Get out of the situation, so you can continue being your happy self.
silverHero4377
November 4th, 2020 9:36pm
The first step is to recognize emotional blackmail for what it is. Once you recognize the signs you have more control over your reaction to the situation. An emotional blackmailer can make you question yourself, your worth, your judgement, and in the worst instances, even your sanity. Gaining knowledge and understanding of the process being used by the blackmailer allows you, intellectually, to see that you are being manipulated. Once you see what is going on you can react from a place of power as opposed to a place of fear or weakness. Emotional blackmail is abuse and should be recognized as such.
Anonymous
November 19th, 2020 2:02am
Maybe it would be best to find a way out of this relationship, or to resolve the problem. It's not fair to you to have to "deal" with this, because that's a sign of a toxic relationship. Better would be to find someone you trust to help you get out of the relationship or go to counseling to help your partner with this blackmail, if you feel the relationship is salvageable. It's not fair to you to have to handle this alone, or at all. Get help, get your partner help and figure out what works best for you guys
MikuoniandBlueCheese
January 15th, 2021 4:23pm
Emotional blackmail is something that you shouldn't submit to. It's a dirty tactic done by desperate people, if you do love your partner, then ask them why they are doing what they are doing, if you want to get away from your partner, I would just get away from them. Them trying to trap you into an unhealthy relationship is something that you don't deserve, and you shouldn't subject yourself to. My opinion on the matter is to just look into your heart and see what you want, and what you think is best, and if you are willing to help them, and if not, it's perfectly OK to let them go.