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Been married for 11 years and have reached my threshold; I am emotionally done and physically done. Don't want to be the "bad guy" but can't go on like this. How do I do it?

2 Answers
Last Updated: 10/19/2020 at 10:53pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Halayma Khatun, M.A Theology(U.K, UAE), Diploma With Distinction in Counseling, Certification trauma abandonment

Counselor

Compassionate, patient, experienced depression counselor. I use Psychodynamic counseling techniques. My counseling experience is +8 years, I counsel women.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
October 19th, 2020 5:06pm
hi, i don't know if i'm qualified to give you advice, but when i was twelve my parents told me that they were separating. it was a very dark year for all us. they went to a marriage counselor, which really helped a lot. i don't think that you should stay in a place where you're hurting or stuck, so maybe you should talk about it together. i mean, sometimes i don't want to say things because i'm scared of how other people will react, but that's not really a good excuse. i'm sure that if you both care about each other, you'll understand if your happiness equals time apart. things i told myself during that time: sometimes a little pain can lead to a better outcome.
resourcefulApple3075
October 19th, 2020 10:53pm
Stay as calm as possible. Make sure you have all your points ready for discussion & treat it like a contract/business deal (in other words, try to keep emotion-or at least the jabs-out). And tell her how you feel. Not knowing if there are kids involved, or what your reasons are, all I can say is-make sure you are not at a low point that you really want to get better before mentioning the divorce word. That said, it takes 2 people to fix a marriage. If you are done then there's no fixing it. Likewise if she won't work on it, there's no fixing it. I am guessing if you are at this point then the communication is already pretty bad. Approach her in the way you would want her to approach you with it.