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How can I improve my self esteem?

14 Answers
Last Updated: 10/13/2021 at 7:50pm
How can I improve my self esteem?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Monique Bivins, MA, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have a real passion for helping my clients to overcome life's obstacles . My work with clients is nonjudgmental, supportive, and interactive.

Top Rated Answers
- Expert in Self-Esteem
February 20th, 2018 11:31pm
There are lots of different ways that you can improve your self-esteem; probably more than we could ever list here! - Try to increase your positive self-talk. What are the things that are good about yourself? Write them down, notice them - say them, scream them out loud! They are important. When we are stuck in low self-esteem we tend to dismiss them or forget them. - Take note of some of the terrible things you say about yourself. These might be comments like "I'm stupid" or "I'm such a failure". How true are they really? Often these thoughts are automatic so it's not easy - but it makes a huge difference. - Try to stop comparing yourself to other people. You're not like other people! You're you. - Focus on the things that you do enjoy. Find time for them; whether that's your hobbies/interests, family/friends or just things you like in general. :)
September 3rd, 2018 2:04pm
You can improve your self esteem by surrounding yourself with people who will support you and help you. Those people that spreads positivity and will help you by challenging you to become the best version of you. Those people who are honest with you. Those people who wants what's best for you. Those people who will bring you to the right path. Those people who doesn't drag you down. Those people that lifts you up and reminding you to keep on moving forward or in short, those people who cares for you not because you're famous or rich or like the person they can overpower but they care for you because they see something in you.
February 26th, 2018 12:21pm
There are many things you can try. The important thing is to be consistent. If you want to give yourself 5 compliments every day and write them down, that is a great way to start!
March 13th, 2018 8:47am
The way I see it, there are basically 2 ways to "deal" with low self-esteem. One is like "overriding" - keep chanting to yourself, repeat some positive mantras or ideas until your conscious and subconscious mind starts living inside this new "truth". Another way is far less appealing - to become utterly honest with yourself and recognize all of your inner beliefs/fears/traumas that are in place and are, effectively, the cause of your low self-esteem. When you think about it - there cannot be a single goo reason to feel of yourself as a "not good enough" person. Therefore beliefs that are "saying" otherwise must eventually go.
- Expert in Self-Esteem
June 5th, 2018 12:05pm
By looking at success rather than failure. By counting the positive things in your life. By performing good acts that help others.
February 13th, 2018 4:48am
Consider keeping a journal of small accomplishments and things you're proud of yourself for, and remember that insecurities are based on assumptions, not reality.
December 1st, 2019 7:26pm
There are many different ways that you can go about improving your self esteem. These can be like using positive affirmations about yourself in order to try to have confidence boosts. Some helpful tips can include: Say stop to your inner critic (this meaning trying to replace the inner voice that you have that thinks down about you and getting rid of the self destructive thoughts that your inner critic may have about you). Another tip is Writing down 3 things in the evening that you can appreciate about yourself. This can allow you to think positively about yourself and having put it down on paper it is something that you are able to go back to. Setting realistic expectations can also be helpful in these situations as well
July 19th, 2020 8:35pm
It can be super hard to have good self esteem. It's something I have struggled with a lot, and I'm sure many people before - and after - us will struggle with it at some point. You are not alone in having poor self-esteem. There are multiple ways in which we can improve our self esteem, including meditation, developing a sense of self-love, focusing on more positive things than negative things, and more. When we do things such as focusing on the positive, we are building up a layer of self-esteem that is needed for general functioning. Perhaps you could keep note of all of the things that lower your self-esteem or make you feel down, and work to improve them.
November 29th, 2020 2:28pm
Self-esteem is essential to leading a life of flourishing, and essentially it's about building a personality which you can admire. What you would have to do first and foremost is conclude which moral values are right for you to live in accordance with. This is where ethics - a branch of philosophy - will be your guide. Once you've concluded which moral values are valuable to you, then you get to the stage of putting them in concrete practice in your own life. Let's use the virtue of integrity as an example here. If you're having a conversation with a family member about a topic where you know that there are differences in opinion, then standing by your own views (or at least openly declaring the fact that you disagree with the family member) is one way to build your self-esteem. Love, admiration, and affection all have to be earned if it's to be genuine. Having self-esteem or pride in your own character is equivalent to maintaining a rigid certainty about your worthiness of being loved.
January 12th, 2021 4:22am
Hi! This is an awesome question! It can be hard to start off your self-esteem journey and to think positively about yourself. One technique that is commonly used is bridge statements. This is just acknowledging that there's a possibility that you are more than the negative things that you tell yourself. For example, if you tell yourself, "I'm ugly" everyday, then you would start telling yourself, "There is a possibility that I am not as ugly as I think," or maybe "There perhaps is a possibility that some find me at least a little bit good looking." It's all about opening yourself up to the possibility (again, huge emphasis on possibility!) that you're more than your negative self image. This is because I know it can be really difficult to jump from something like "I'm ugly and no one likes me" to thinking "I'm beautiful and everyone loves me." That's super hard to do, so this is all about bridging the gap! Also, I believe someone else mentioned writing down and noticing automatic thoughts (also called ATs) and using reasoning to challenge your negative thinking! That's also great! Also, just remember that self-esteem is something that is a life-long journey, and whatever effort you put into improving yourself and working on it is already more than enough. Any effort, big or small is already huge! Also, you are not alone. Self-esteem is something that basically every human has struggled with at least some point in their lives. We are all in this together, taking it one step at a time.
August 8th, 2020 7:52am
I surround myself with people who I know truly value me and see my worth. In moments where I feel badly about myself, I have them to bring me back up and remind me of my significance. You can change simple things too. For eg: the way you talk to yourself. When we experience some kind of failure, we beat ourselves over it and get so incredibly critical and negatively view ourselves. But say a friend went through that and was thinking about those things. You, as the person's friend don't think that he/she is a failure or any of those things we ordinarily tell ourselves in moments of difficulty. Imagine if you spoke to yourself the same way you spoke to a friend, comforting them when they felt low about their self esteem. This exercise seemed a bit silly to be at first but it genuinely helped. I looked at myself in the mirror and I actually spoke self affirming and positive things to myself. It felt kind of fake at first but with time, I started to actually believe the things I was telling myself and trusting that my words about myself were true. Say things such as the things you love about yourself. Say things that you are truly happy for in your life. Stop comparing yourself to other people. We all have things about ourselves that makes us special in our own way. Everyone has their own different strengths and weaknesses. Comparing yourself to a whole different person will only bring you down further. You are your only competition. We are always way too harsh on ourselves. We are more special than we make ourselves out to be. Just remember that.
October 26th, 2020 10:28pm
Self esteem can be something hard to maintain and have bad thoughts about especially with the influence through social media and the beauty industry. I went through a really rough time with my self esteem, thinking my body was ugly and fat, to the point I assumed that's what other thought about me. One day I started to make small changes to make myself feel better. I chose to make at least 2 compliments about myself every day and things i love about me. I had to change my thoughts from assuming negative thoughts from others, to thoughts about myself. I let go of this and realized other people's thoughts or opinions about me don't matter. This really help lift and boost my self esteem.
January 19th, 2021 9:42pm
The first step to improve your self esteem is to start taking good care of yourself by being responsible and doing what you know is good for your body and mind. The second step is to be patient and kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up too much. Life and self discipline are hard for everyone and it's normal not to be perfect. You can always try again and do better next time or the following. Respect yourself and others. Educate yourself. Exercise. Sleep enough. Eat well. Take care of yourself. Love yourself and others. Help people if you have the chance to do so.
October 13th, 2021 7:50pm
The best ways to improve how we think & feel about ourselves are: 1. Maintain healthy relationships and enjoy the good times with family and friends.  2. Learn to communicate both effectively and actively.  3. Do the right thing and treat yourself positively. Great things come your way when you do.  4. Repeat affirmations daily to boost your self-confidence, self-love, and self-esteem, which will impact the voice in your conscience. If you do these things and you think you need more help, it is totally okay to see a professional then start therapy. Therapy provides us with an avenue to find out more information about ourselves and grants us a deeper understanding of our circumstances. Additionally, it helps a lot of persons change their perspective of themselves and become better people.  At the end of the day, remember to strive to be the best version of yourself possible and to take life one step at a time. You are strong, you are brave, you are amazing, and you are loved.  Good luck!