How to find new friends when you have low self esteem and you don't study/have a job?
7 Answers
Last Updated: 01/07/2020 at 4:13am
Moderated by
Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
August 19th, 2019 11:50am
Friends with good study habits helped me in the past. When i had tests coming up i found the library had many like-minded people to study with and i made friends quickly so it was a win win situation. I learned and had fun with school projects and the creative people i met had me looking forward to studying so my grades improved and i actually made the deans list in my second year. It is amazing how much of a social life i had and the joy i got hanging around with the smart crowd. What are you working towards?
The answer is in the path. It's, more or less, the same than being here: you find a stranger in a walk and then, for one reason or another, you can find some kind of excuse to start a chat.
Be you. Always be you and not someone else. Do not go looking for someone. Friends come naturally if you are yourself. Low self esteem is normal and everyone experiences it. Find a job or study and you can make friends, but there are also other ways. Perhaps a sport or hobby. Try and you shall see.
find activities you are passionate about. That passion will push you to put yourself out there and you will meet people who share the same interests.
Friends can be found anywhere. If you do not study or work perhaps volunteering for a cause you care about will do both; raise your self esteem and introduce you to new friends.
Anonymous
December 31st, 2019 8:59pm
What do you love, or what brings you joy? How can you use a hobby or passion to connect with others? As an introvert and someone who experiences social anxiety, it's much easier for me to talk to someone and foster relationships around a common interest. Maybe there is a social group or meetup that you could find that aligns with one of your interests. It can take the edge off of having to manage an open-ended conversation, and help boost your confidence that others in the room will automatically have something in common with you. I wish you the best in your quest for friendship!
I joined all of the clubs that involved things I was passionate about. I got into beekeeping, ukulele, took sewing classes, and started volunteering. I am not a super social person and have always considered myself an introvert, but I had to start giving myself goals to stop feeling so isolated (I’m neurodivergent so setting goals worked best for me)
By taking classes and joining clubs relating to stuff I was interested in, I knew I had a better chance of meeting people with similar interests (small talk and I don’t mix so I knew I needed people I could converse with, in depth)
Hope that helps!
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