Why do i feel like everyone secretly dislikes me?
Last Updated: 03/20/2021 at 4:36pm
Tracy-Kate Teleke, M.A., LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.
Top Rated Answers
Hello. Its pretty normal to feel insecure. A lot of us feel the same way. When you feel this way, remind yourself that what matters is how you see yourself or believe yourself to be. Try to seek comfort or validation inwards rather than outward. It usually is your anxiety trying to bring up negative thoughts. You can counter them by positive affirmations and confronting them rather than avoiding it.
I think you might be feeling insecurities within yourself and possibly low self esteem and this is causing paranoia that others dislike you. I would suggest taking a hard look at who you are, how you feel about yourself, what good qualities you have and bring to the world, and what friends and family positively say about you. Every day wake up and tell yourself one good thing about you and that you are unique, special and can do whatever you put your mind to. Tell yourself there's nothing wrong with being exactly who you are and how you feel.
We feel that way when we lose our self-confidence. What I think when I am feeling that way is that I am just a small dot in this world and the people around me doesn't think about me as much as I think about them. That gives me a little relief knowing that the people's world does not revolve around me and I should stop caring about what other people think. Free yourself from the chains of your fears.
It is a very common feeling to being judged by others. Society has groomed human beings to constantly fear others criticising them. But know that no one is out to get you because the other person is just has much as afraid of being disliked as you are.
This is something that a lot of people have experienced, you are not at all alone in how you feel. Maybe you feel like that because of a negative past experience. I have felt this way myself on a few occasions, and it's more than likely due to bullying. Bullying could very well be an explanation for this, if you have ever experienced it. Another reason could be perhaps any insecurities that you feel you may have, tagged with low self-esteem. Maybe even a lack of self-confidence - there are many reasons that could explain why you feel that way. It's really hard when we feel as though everyone secretly dislikes us.
It can be easy to feel like people secretly dislike us. I too have felt like this many times before in the past. You are not alone in feeling this way. You are valid. What helps me, is to remember that other people are probably feeling like other people like me secretly dislike them too, which is wrong because I very rarely dislike others. I think sometimes we get too in our head about how we are perceived. It's like the spotlight effect, where we feel as though our lives are being watched under a spotlight by everyone else, when in fact, very few people are actually doing so. I think it helps to remember that everyone is so caught up in their own thoughts and busy-ness, yourself included, that very few people actually have the time and energy to dislike you. Even if they do dislike you, then it means that they are not worth your time and energy. Thus, when I factor in all of these things that I try to remember when I am feeling like everyone dislikes me, I am able to stop caring about what everyone thinks of me. That in itself is so freeing, because it allows me to do what I want to do and will in turn, attract people who like what I do and will therefore like me for me.
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