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Am I a bad person for self harming?

58 Answers
Last Updated: 09/11/2018 at 6:34pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Lisa Meighan, BSc Psychology (Honours)


Hello, I am Lisa and I work in a person-centred approach mixed with cognitive behavioural therapy. I believe we all have the potential to be the best we can be.

Top Rated Answers
- Expert in Self-Harm
April 11th, 2015 6:36am
No. No you are not. Regardless of why you self harm - to feel things, to stop feeling things to show people your pain, to show yourself your pain, to punish yourself.... why ever you harm - it does NOT make you a bad person. We harm when we don't know what else to do; when it seems nothing else is working. I hope you can eventually learn other ways to cope so that, someday, you no longer need to hurt yourself, but you are NOT a bad person for doing this or feeling this way. We do what we need to to get through what we struggle with. I'm sorry you're struggling so much - but our maladaptive coping methods do not make us bad people. Hang in there friend. I hope you find all the support you need.
April 11th, 2015 8:50pm
No you're not. Def not. If someone ever tells you that you're bad person, punch them. (im sorry but its true)
April 29th, 2015 3:31am
Self harm does not make you bad, it doesn't make you anything other than someone trying to cope with what they have going on.
May 23rd, 2015 5:33am
Absolutely not. You're not a bad person, just a person in a bad situation. Most people dealing with the worse situations in life would probably resort to that. And that is why how to deal with these cases is to actually fix the situation you're into. This might save yourself from doing self-harm.
June 4th, 2015 1:57pm
No! Absolutely not. You are a person who is in pain and has found a way of coping with that pain, but it is an unhealthy and toxic way to cope with pain and it doesn't make the pain go away, the pain always comes back.
June 13th, 2015 2:27pm
Of course not. Everybody copes differently. You just have to find a more peaceful way to deal with whats happening in your life so you wont want to harm yourself..
June 17th, 2015 5:07pm
Absolutely not. Self harming is a coping mechanism; using an unhealthy coping mechanism doesn't make you an inherently bad person- in fact, willingness to try and stay clean and treat yourself better is a really good thing.
July 7th, 2015 6:42pm
No, you are not a bad person for self harming! You are probably going though a hard trial and using self harm as a way to cope.
July 7th, 2015 11:17pm
No way. It doesn't make you a bad person, you're not harming anyone else but yourself. You're worth more than that though. You don't deserve to be hurt. I know that the feeling of pain can help deal with pain from other sources, but it's not a great thing to do. Your body is the thing that you rely on the most, it supports you, and gives you life. Try to talk to someone about it, someone who can support you
August 24th, 2015 9:15am
No you are not a bad person for self harming. You just have to put your head up and keep moving foward with your life.
September 14th, 2015 5:25pm
No. Not at all. As an outsider looking in your self harming has no effect on you as a person. It's your life what happens happens and that's okay.
September 22nd, 2015 4:10pm
Self harming doesn't make you a bad person. It just means you are hurting emotionally. I highly suggest you call the suicide hotline or go to a hospital. You are worth it!
November 26th, 2015 9:07pm
NO you are not a bad person for doing self harm. It's just a way to cope to some people and it's a bad way to cope with whatever you're going through. Here at 7 cups of tea we have trained listeners willing to listen to you about what's going on in your life that turned you toward self harm.
December 29th, 2015 3:22pm
Not at all. Self-harm means that you're in a lot of psychological pain. It does not mean that you're selfish or bad. You deserve compassion and care, not judgment.
May 9th, 2016 4:34am
No, you are certainly not a bad person for self harming. There are many self harmers who pursuit life in happiness for others even if they can't prove it for themselves. This is because many of us self harmers would never want someone to talk a walk in our shoes.
May 30th, 2016 2:08am
No. It is simply you trying to cope in one way, even if people do not understand. Whether you think you are a bad person yourself for hurting yourself, you aren't. If you believe you are a bad person because other people tell you are because you do it, there is no excuse for them. You are simply just trying in a way they don't understand.
July 12th, 2016 11:13am
No, you're just someone who wants help. :) There are professionals out there who can help you and we're here to listen.
July 25th, 2016 8:41pm
No, you're not a bad person. You're just not being good with yourself. You always deserve to take care and love yourself no matter what you've been trough you will always have yourself so take care
August 22nd, 2016 1:31am
Not at all, self harm is a manipulative addiction which can happen to anyone good or bad regardless of their character
October 25th, 2016 1:55am
No, not at all. It's just your way to take the pain away, everyone has different ways to do that, you know? I'm not saying it's okay for you to do it but you are not a bad person for that either.
February 27th, 2017 1:15am
Self harming does not make somebody a bad person. Self harm is a habit that some people pick up as a coping mechanism and from personal experience, I know it is very hard to stop. It provides a temporary but immediate relief and it can be tempting to continue. It however is not a good habit to have as it can make a person feel worse in the long run and it is damaging. I would absolutely suggest that you seek out help to stop doing it and maybe even research some safe alternative coping methods on your own. Depending on what triggers it, various busy-work activities tended to help me when I had a big problem with it. I hope you find the road to recovery.
April 17th, 2017 6:10am
No, I am not but that does not mean it is not bad. Self harming is a way to express my emotion when everything is a blur and I cannot relax but knowing I should not makes it harder.
September 26th, 2017 5:20pm
No, it doesnt make you a bad person. I understand you do it as a release or as a way to cope. I understand that you have a reason for doing what you do and that can be difficult to grasp for someone who has never been in your shoes. It does make me sad that people self-harm but its not my place to judge, I hope you are trying to find another way and getting help where you can, because as a person you deserve as much respect, kindness and love as anyone else, so I hope you will be the first person to give that to yourself each day.
February 5th, 2018 11:21am
You are not a bad person!It's just that self harming is wrong but it's not your fault that you harm yourself.Please try to find out a safe and positive alternative to this.And remember that it's not your mistake!
April 17th, 2018 4:38pm
nope you are just being cruel to urself . U are such a beautiful person just going through a bad phase but all u gotta do is hang in there and have faith. Things always dont work out the way we want but tht's not the end my frnd :) all the best for life and nxt time u think of harming urself just take a min and think about those pple who gave birth to u and looked after u i am sure u;ll stop :)
July 23rd, 2018 10:22pm
No self harm is a coping mechanism it may be unhealthy but it doesn't make you a bad person no matter what people say
September 11th, 2018 5:15pm
No! Please never think that! Maybe it isn’t the nicest form of relief, but if it works for you and you are seeking help and know your limits it’s okay. Remember to seek help, you are not alone! Please please please remember that! I know that some times it can be rather scary to seek help but trust me it is so so so so so sooooo worth it! Some times there may be a ever so long wait for help, be this at a local docotors or on the phone. But it is always worth it. Remember you can always google your local help numbers. Stay strong.
September 11th, 2018 6:34pm
No, you are most certainly NOT a bad person for self harming. Self harming is a coping mechanism. It may not be the best or most safe mechanism, but it is a way of dealing with overwhelming emotions. Here at 7 cups we are here to help and guide you as best as we can through these hard times where you have the urge to self harm. It can be very dangerous and we want to help you in the best way possible and listen to how you feel about everything. You dont have to go through it alone .