Are you open about the fact you self-harm, or do you hide it?
67 Answers
Last Updated: 04/17/2018 at 10:14pm
Moderated by
Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.
Top Rated Answers
To be completely honest I hide it until its not that bad. No one really notices it.
Depends who I'm talking to. I will tell people if I'm on the internet or if I know them well enough. Otherwise it's hidden. I'm still ashamed about the fact that I did it.
I hide it, unless I am around a trusted friend that knows what I am going through.
I've actually been hiding it for around three years now because I don't do it in obvious places (i usually do it on my thighs, near my ankle or under where i wear my watch) and my culture teaches us not to point out our differences. but recently, I was trying to help my friend stop smoking and I let slip that "one month clean is good, that's way more than i've ever been clean" and now he knows but he understands that I'd like to keep it a secret. so i guess my answer is: i'm open (to one person) that i hide the fact that i self harm
Anonymous
June 6th, 2016 10:11pm
My friends and my family are aware of my self harm, some of it cannot be hidden from those who care. I hide the new wounds, marks, and scars but because I'm in recovery and trying to get hold of things I think it's all right some people know - because they also know I'm fighting hard against it.
Anonymous
June 7th, 2016 5:38pm
I hid it and i'm still hiding. I'm not very good to stop hurting myself.
Anonymous
November 15th, 2014 1:15am
I hide it because I am embarassed of that, I think that other people would think that I just want the attention but it is actually not like that, people who do not do it or never did it, they do not understand why I need to do it
I hide it. However this could possibly be because I also have anxiety and thus get anxious when I feel I could possibly reveal my secret. I'm also embarrassed that I self harm so I don't want to look weak in front of others.
Anonymous
June 20th, 2016 2:04pm
I am open with my family (meaning my husband, not my two children because they are only four), and I am open with it here on 7cups.
I hide it. It scares me knowing that one day Il have to explain my scars to people. I don't want them to know my story.
Personally, I hide it. It's mainly due to my anxiety though. I don't want people to see my scars and judge me based off of them or even think that I'm weak and useless because I already think that. So no, I'm not open at all about my scars. I can't even get myself to tell my therapist that I self harm, much less everyone else.
Anonymous
July 26th, 2016 9:21am
I think if you self-harm ,you should be open about it if you think it will stop another individual from doing it.
actually both depending on who is it i' talking to... my level of comfort.... my relationship with the person.. how much trust there is b/w us..and much more!
Anonymous
October 25th, 2016 8:35pm
I don't like people knowing that I had self-harmed, and I do my best to hide it from my friends and family.
Anonymous
October 16th, 2017 10:30pm
I'm not open about self-harm, but thats because I'm afraid. I do really want to be open about it, but I feel weak if I show it to anyone. I've been open to it to my school nurse, and my closest friend, but the response I got from both of them made me feel even worse about self-harming than I was before. But I do really admire the people who are open about self-harming, and wishing that I could be as open about it as they are. I hate hiding that I'm self-harming.
I tend to hide it because I don't want to worry anyone, but I know that self harm is not something that should and can be faced alone. Sooner or later, you will need to find a person whom you can trust and share about it to them.
Anonymous
November 19th, 2014 5:33pm
I hide it, i'm not comfortable with everyone on the planet knowing, although with the people that matter I have no reason to hide it.
I usually hide the fact I self-harm, I feel it's a private thing and my way of dealing with things. Some people ask if my scars are from self-harming, and sometimes I tell the truth, if I feel that person is trustworthy, or if I feel they might have a similar situation.
I hid it because I was afraid of what people would think, but that is entirely up to you. Most hide it.
Anonymous
November 19th, 2014 10:10pm
When i used to hurt myself i wasn't ashamed about it, i kept it covered to prevent people seeing it. I harmed for myself and not for other people to see.
I hide it, though if someone asks, I pull them aside and explain. I do know some people that don't hide it though, so if you make that choice, you aren't alone.
Im open with certain people. For example, my friends know its a more active thing, but my mother (whom I hate worrying) believes that it stopped a while ago.
If i feel a person is not close enough to be shared things like these i tend to hide them. If it is a Psychiatrist whom i am getting consulted or a close family member or friend. It is not okay to hide it from them as you will harm them by not trusting them than harming yourself.
Anonymous
April 3rd, 2015 3:20am
I used to feel ashamed of my scars, but now I'm very open about the fact that I used to self harm. I wasn't at the time but now I realize that it's something I may be able to help someone get through because of my own personal experiences.
I don't hide my scars, but I don't flaunt them either. I'm not allowed to wear long sleeves at school, but when I can wear them (outside of school) I will. Most of my close friends and my family know that I self-harm, but I'm constantly worried that becasue I don't hide my scars at school that people might think I am 'attention seeking' or 'crazy'.
Anonymous
May 2nd, 2015 10:20am
This is a very hard question to answer. It's all about context though!
Those whom will make you feel bad for self-harm, I would certainly hide it from, because this will make you feel bad for something totally acceptable, besides that It's up to you who you're open about self-harm with, If you feel safe and secure in telling, then be open as you like about it :)
It depends on the reaction of people : some of them want to help you or want to know why you do that, but some other almost insult you !
I can be open to those I trust and wont turn their back on me but I hide it from those who will judge me and turn their backs on me.
For me, i hid it for many years. as its extremely personal and its shameful, i used to think people viewed it as a sign of weakness
Anonymous
September 7th, 2015 1:04pm
I tend to be open about it with friends, especially close friends, but hide it from the general public and acquaintances.
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