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Does cutting for only a few months and stopping make me any less of a self-harmer?

210 Answers
Last Updated: 05/11/2022 at 4:37pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, PsyD, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
October 13th, 2018 5:43am
Everyone's experience is valid whether it happened for a few months or a few years. What you have been through and what you are currently going through make you stronger than you'll ever know. Self harming is never the answer to take away your pain. Yes you went through it for a short amount of time, but that experience was real. It was real to you. Sometimes we all feel overwhelmed with things in life and we look for ways out of it. There are so many people who would be proud of you to know that you only had to go through that pain for a few months. You are strong and you made it through.
Anonymous
November 2nd, 2018 12:16pm
no! I am sorry that you had to see or go through something unfortunate that made you cut yourself, but cutting is cutting and if you did it repeatedly for months then that too is self-harm, time does not matter consistency does, if you are still self-harming please seek help you don't deserve those cuts or cutting, nobody does, you can contact me or any of the wonderful listeners here , but if you did stop Well Done! I am proud of you, but please seek help if you didn't. self-harm can turn into a dangerous addiction, and taking even small initiatives to stop it is great because after all small steps are better than nothing.It will all be fine don't worry. And to sum up the thing, no you are not any less of a self-harmer than others so if you're thinking that, then don't please, you are worth your life and you are no less than them to think that you're safe. Hope this answer helped :). Have a good day and a good life.
Anonymous
November 15th, 2018 4:26am
No it does not. Because from time to time, you're willing to hurt yourself and you do not know the intensity of where that is coming from, so no, it does not make you any less of a self-harmer. Just know that it's temporary pain and it doesn't make the problem just go away. There are better ways to deal with problems than to self-harm. Do not get to a point where self-harming becomes a thing, even occasionally because that means you still are facing that problem and its still going to be there, because self-harm doesn't send it anywhere.
Hope2612
November 18th, 2018 7:45pm
Self-harming is not limited to just cutting, there are certain behaviors that people do during their bad times that could also indicate self harm. Behaviors like not caring if someone kidnaps you if you walk alone at night, or not eating right because you're too sad. It could also be depriving your body of certain necessities. However, cutting for a few months and stopping does not mean you are no longer a self-harmer. It could return again. Try to find an alternative, or come talk to someone here or someone you love. Meditation can help to replace self-harm for some people. Self care is extremely important, prioritize yourself, it is not always selfish sometimes it is necessary.
Anonymous
January 24th, 2019 3:28am
No, it still makes me a self-harmer. Regardless of how much someone self-harms, it is still self harm. The item used doesn’t change that either. If its used to self-harm, its harmful. Cutting less and less can lead to stopping self-harm though. And using a weapon to cut, no matter how small or sharp, still makes you someone who should seek help ❤️ you are not less important. Everyone matters. With motivation, courage, and support, you will overcome these troubling times. Don’t be afraid to reach out to anyone, especially on 7 cups. We will listen to what you have to say.
compassionateHeart82
March 23rd, 2019 5:10am
Self-harm comes in various forms and methods. Every individual who has self-harmed would experience it differently. Many individuals will go through waves, and self-harming may reflect what is happening in their life. For example, an individual may go through a period of frequent self-harm because of issues at home but may cease or stop because maybe these things became better. But this however, does not mean they are any less of a self-harmer. Stigma unfortunately sets an image of determining whether someone is a severe self-harmer, etc. However, not one person who self-harms is any more severe than another as all individuals are classified the same as each individual will self-harm differently.
QueenEllathe2nd
April 12th, 2019 8:06am
No. It makes you extremely strong to have been able to learn to control that urge. Once you adopt self harm as a coping strategy, you will forever have a relationship with self harm. For you that relationship is it is something you used to do, but that does not make your experience any less valid, or the urges you may feel any less important.
OceanRest
April 21st, 2019 2:40pm
The length of the period during which you harmed yourself does not define whether your experience with self-harm is valid or not. Your experience is valid. I would however encourage you to see yourself as a person first and not see self-harming as part of your identity. You don't have to think of yourself as a self-harmer. You can think of yourself as a person who had a problem with self-harm for a time and if it's over you can be grateful for that without thinking your experience was not valid. It counts. But it doesn't have to define you. And if it happens again, then it will be valid again, even if it happens just once. Then you will be a person who had another short time of struggling with self-harm. How long it continued or how bad the wounds were do not make it any less valid. You don't have to measure up to some kind of standard.
MallorySkylar
May 2nd, 2019 6:18pm
Absolutely not. There are no requirements or guidelines for our struggles, and comparing ourselves to others won't help us progress. Who is to say what makes one person's struggle more "real" than another's? The labels that we use to define ourselves and what we have gone through are personal and independent of anyone else's labels. Whether you hurt yourself once or a hundred times, your experiences and pain is still valid. What you have gone through can't be quantified; you were hurting, you were in a dark place, and the number of times that manifested physically does not affect how much pain you felt.
Anonymous
May 24th, 2019 7:00am
Yes and no. Its something I have struggled with for years and have messed up my body. I think that if you have the self control to stop that you are less of a self harmer because you have the control to stop, if that makes sense. But also no, because its also something you have dealt with, but there are a lot of factors. I think a true self harmer craves self harm whenever something bad happens because we are addicted. We want it even when everything is okay. We don't know how to stop on our own.
Anonymous
July 12th, 2019 12:34am
No. And that's the honest truth. If you have not gotten help from a therapist or a counselor because of cutting, the problem has not been solved and it will not go away unless you have received help. Sometimes that is the only way to treat such an issue. If you have self harmed at any point in your life, you are a self harmed. The fact that you resorted to self harm means you are more likely to do it again should the occasion arise. Months, also, is a long period of time to be cutting. Both the physical and mental scars will stick with you from that experience from a long time. And if cutting gave you any sort of relief before, that means you're likely to cut again it something similar sparks the feeling that makes you want to cut. But you don't have to. You can say no to self harm, and remind your future self that self harm is not the answer because it can cause psychological problems as well as physical problems down the road. But most importantly, talking to a professional will help you, and your past choices do not have to define your future choices.
Anonymous
July 24th, 2019 7:52pm
the frequency, severity, consistency, or way in which you self-harm has absolutely nothing to do with your validity. if you have intentionally hurt yourself, you have self-harmed, and I recommend you to seek professional help (if you haven't already) in order to figure out some healthy coping mechanisms and/or the underlying causes behind your self-harm. you are valid, and deserve health and support just as much as anyone else who has self-harmed!
VisTera13
August 28th, 2019 6:43pm
I don't like labels. To me this means you have a tendency towards self harm and should be aware of potential triggers. Self harm doesn't/shouldn't define you. Finding ways to stop and divert your attention and energy into something positive you enjoy is a good way too see you are not your malady. New scars remind that in darkness we are our own worst enemy and sometimes we must fight ourselves, old scars weave a great tale of battles past and remind us we are warriors and great adventurer's who have stared into death many times and whispered, "not today".
bubblingFireworks9539
October 26th, 2019 9:17am
Not at all. Regardless of any time frames, you still battled the urges to cut yourself. You still felt that need, gave into it even, but managed to pull yourself out of that pattern. No matter how long it takes you to pull yourself out, you were still in that position and you are still valid. Someone who has cut once still battles the same demons as someone who's cut themselves a thousand times, you are not invalidated by the time it took you to get help or to help yourself. Self-harm is a battle, and it is never "more" or "less"
Anonymous
February 12th, 2020 5:04pm
Whether you have been cutting for 1 day or 10 years does not matter. What matters is how you view the behavior and how you manage it. Comparing your self-harm to another person's self harm can lead into competitive behavior in some cases. What is important is to know that your experience is valid and there is a great community here at 7-cups to help support you. Also congratulations on stopping this behavior. From personal experience self-harming can be very addictive and hard to stop. So for you to be able to keep yourself from engaging in self-harm is a huge accomplishment and I hope you see that strength in yourself! :)
foreveralivepheonix
March 7th, 2020 5:00pm
The moment you made your first cut you are considered a self harmer. If you stopped then that is good because its a bad habit. Cutting for those few months was a choice you made because it seemed to be the best way to cope. As long as you don't fall under the temptation to cut again, you're good. From personal experience, i have done the same and I have stopped. The urges do come from time to time but all you have to do is stay strong and ignore it. Surround yourself with good people that make you happy and ignore all negative thoughts. Let the positivity flow!
Anonymous
March 14th, 2020 7:30pm
No, it does not. Once you've inflict pain or harmed yourself on purpose, that makes you a self harmer. It doesn't matter how long you do it once you've done it for, self harm is self harm. But it's good that you're trying to stop it and get through it. Your past doesn't define your future. We all have definitely made some mistakes in the past, did somethings we regret doing. But the past just prepares you for the future. It teaches you lessons and helps strengthen you. You're a warrior and what you're scars are prove of it. If youre broken you don't have to stay broken. You're perfect just the way you are, stay strong.
NaborisTheDivine
March 15th, 2020 5:30am
No, it really doesn't. Self-harm means purposely inflicting pain on yourself. People self harm because they are coping with a mental illness and inflicting pain actually leads to the release of dopamine (happiness chemicals) in your brain, which can lead to you feeling better. Self-harm could come from wanting to feel that addicting rush of dopamine, or it could come from the feeling of worthlessness, uselessness, and suicidal thoughts. Cutting is the most well-known version. A few months of continuous self harm isn't any better than longer. Harming yourself is a very unhealthy coping mechanism for mental illness and it comes from mental illness no matter how long you harm yourself for. It doesn't matter how long you harm yourself for. Inflicting pain upon yourself makes you a self-harmer.
KindFall5330
March 15th, 2020 1:33pm
When people go through the experience of self-harming, in my eyes no one is more or less of something based on how often or how long they have done the habit. There is no black and white line stating that you are now healed from self harming. Instead its a grey continuum, where you progress through life on a journey of sorts. Some people self harm once, and experience urges for years afterward without doing the act. Others self harm on and off for a while. Both are struggling, and I think that's all that really matters. "Self-harmer" is not a badge of honor to wear, but rather a sign that you're struggling, and yes it can be taken off at some points in our lives.
blackMist3479
March 25th, 2020 7:43am
I do not feel that anyone is more or less of a self-harmer. There is a very toxic idea out there that there are "real" cutters and "fake" cutters." If you were able to stop, that's awesome. However, being able to stop does not mean the pain that led you to self-harm was fake or less valid than someone else's. It may simply mean that while someone else became addicted to the destructive coping mechanism or perhaps simply was unable to find a more effective and healthier way to cope, you found other ways to manage your feelings and were able to stop. If you do ever think about self-harming again, I hope you will reach out to someone for support.
Anonymous
March 26th, 2020 2:53am
Anyone who self-harms as a coping mechanism is a self-harmer. I went through the same i'd stop for sometimes a year but then go back to it. It may seem like the only solution at times, but there is so much more. Sometimes it's hard to stop but slowly it will get better and you'll find other ways. If on those few months you've used other coping mechanisms maybe you can start switching to those. If you self-harm a lot or a little it doesn't matter all that matters is that your distress doesn't cause mental or physical scars. Sometimes that takes time but don't worry you've got this :)
LyricalTruth
April 2nd, 2020 11:15am
That is hard to answer. The main issue was the fact that you were self harming in the first places, being it a one time thing, or something that is habitual. It might be helpful to understand why you started cutting at that time. What were your triggers? And then seeing why you were able to stop cutting. By being able to know your triggers, it could be helpful in understanding why you felt you needed to self harm in the first place. It would also be helpful to know how you felt, and perhaps keep a journal. I don't think it should matter if you are more or less than a self-harmer, just that you have a propensity to do so. And that in and of itself should be addressed.
circusmirror123
April 8th, 2020 12:49am
No! Definitely not. Self harm can mean lots of things, and not cutting all the time does not mean you're any less of a self harmer, your feelings and your damage is still just as valid as anyone elses. You shouldn't compare yourself to other people's experiences as everyone is different, and everyone copes with things differently. Just because someone self harmed for longer it doesn't mean that your self harm experience was any less important, and it still may affect you and you may want to talk about the feelings you're having about self harm, even if you stopped self harming.
dancingwind5827
April 23rd, 2020 10:20pm
it doesnt. any sort of self harm is devastating. a few months ago, i would scratch my arms so hard, and i would justify it by saying, at least i didnt cut myself, its not real self harm. the length of time you cut, or the method by which you hurt yourself dont make you less or more of a self-harmer, its the intention in which the action is done. some injuries may be more serious than others in physical after affects, or the time period when it was done, but it doesnt change the lasting pyschological affects that self harm has.
Anonymous
May 22nd, 2020 3:56pm
There is no such thing like more/less self-harmer. Wr shouldn't cathegorize people who harm themselves or anyone else. Self-cutting's emotional/psychological effects can endure for a long time, even if it happened only once, however, it is admirable when you stop it as soon as possible. There is not a thing to measure how much self-harmer you are, but if you were able stopped, it is a very good initial step not to be a self-harmer anymore and take care of all the possible effects that might show up in yourself. If you stopped for some months, you are capable
CarefreeLove29
June 5th, 2020 2:29am
I would say no, I self harmed on and off for years. So if it is something that only happened for a few months, it is something you need to be aware of that happened. It does take away from the fact that it was a habit you used to release something. That is why you need to take the time to learn what triggered the self harming behavior. Once I was able to understand what triggered me to feel the need to self harm, I was able to learn new and healthier coping mechanisms to help we work through my triggered state of mind.
Anonymous
June 20th, 2020 1:01am
No matter what you do, it is valid. Self harm is an unhealthy coping mechanism and very much discouraged however struggling with self harm, no matter how severe or how long, does not make it or your feelings with it any less valid. Reach out to somebody who can help! There are so many people on this platform who would be more than happy to! Try to use some healthy coping mechanisms. I understand how hard battling self harm is and can be but there are always people there for you. Your feelings are always valid, no matter the context.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2020 7:30am
Any type of 'stopping' a negative hobbit is A M Z I N G ! And I hope you are proud of yourself!! Self Harm can be hard to deal with, and any type of a habit breaker can help so much!! And instead of labeling yourself a Self Harmer, tell yourself you are a survivor! Any type of self harm is and can be very addicting and hard to stop, it's okay to not be clean but you also don't want to just give up and let it happen. Keep going! Stay strong! I'm proud of you!! :)
wonderousPenguin
June 25th, 2020 11:34am
In my experience, I found that labelling myself as 'self-harmer' wasn't useful in my recovery. I found that labelling myself as that only made me internalise myself as self-harmer, as if that is me and who I am. Try not to let self harm define who you are. Self harm is just one of many behaviours people choose to use to in order to deal with unbearable feelings and emotions, or to feel something. Now, does it make you less of a self harmer? Every second, minute, hour, week or month that you are able to distract yourself from self harm or to use a more sustainable coping mechanism makes you less of a self harmer. I found in my recovery, it's the little victories that count. Try to not be too harsh on yourself you slip up. What's important is the choices you make every day to break the cycle of self harming. Then one day you'll think 'I don't need or rely on self harm any more'.
Haley1289
July 19th, 2020 7:54pm
It doesn’t make you less valid, it doesn’t matter how long it is done for, it’s still a really unhealthy coping mechanism. But you aren’t a self-harmer, you are so much more and that isn’t part of your identity, please don’t make it that. It starts as only a few months sometimes and goes longer and it destroys you. I speak from personal experience. I am proud of you for being able to stop. Keep fighting because you are worth it, no matter who you are. You aren’t broken, you are healing. Try to remember that. Good luck, there is a light ahead.