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How can I live without self-harm?

13 Answers
Last Updated: 07/13/2021 at 11:02am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Tracy-Kate Teleke, M.A., LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I assist adults and couples in CA experiencing relationship challenges and interpersonal struggles including anxiety, depression, and a myriad of other life challenges.

Top Rated Answers
January 9th, 2015 7:15am
Find a healthy substitute, self-harm is usually the result of poor self esteem or a person feeling like they're trapped with no way out. Working on either of those things will help substantially.
September 12th, 2016 7:33pm
There's almost always an underlying issue as to why people self-harm. I suggest going through the 7 Cups Self Harm Guide to learn more about why you maybe self harming - Once you find out the underlying causes spend times doing thing you actually enjoy doing, fishing, camping, arts, fitness, etc: etc:
July 24th, 2018 3:52pm
There are many alternatives to self-harm, my favorite one is doodling instead of cutting on your body. By doodling, you still make markings on your body, but they don't cause harm, and you get to express yourself while doing so!
April 8th, 2015 2:58pm
Well... there are many reasons for people to self-harm but in my opinion there are two main types: the silent one- the one that self-harms because it's supposed to release certain chemicals to make the person feel better. Sometimes it could also be done to reenact an event like an abuse or punishment. the exhibitionist- is the one who cuts where people can see it and it may be because the person is crying out for help through his or her actions because he or she is hurting on the inside. for both types, I suppose exercise does help. Get active. If running is boring for you then dance, choreograph something, get your mind focused- I know this may sound weird but choreographing your own dance can sometimes get you so focused but not in a way that would drain your energy and make you all upset. If self-harm is done as a signal for help, then definitely talk to someone. this place is a good way to start out- know one knows who you are and no one will tell on you.
June 1st, 2015 1:53am
First I think it's important to figure out why self harm is happening. Speaking to a therapist,counsellor or some type of professional is a good start. They can help you sort out a lot of things going on for you personally. It is possible to stop self harming. I personally have gone through it and stopped it and know why it can be hard learning new ways to deal and process with emotions and life it is possible to do. Finding healthy coping practices was essential for me.
September 11th, 2015 5:18am
You can replace it with something you like to do that is healthy like playing a sport. drawing, or writing.
April 12th, 2016 2:49am
if you want to live without self harm, try to think about other things besides that, try and get your mind out of it
August 16th, 2016 8:15pm
Always seek support. You can not live this life alone and if you are hurting yourself, the most courageous thing for you to do is to ask for help.
October 17th, 2016 6:13pm
Surround yourself with positive people and do not give yourself the opportunity to harm yourself. If you fill your time doing things you love, you won't have the need to self-harm anymore!
February 7th, 2017 2:58pm
For me, most of my growth came from quitting self harm and filling my life with new people who are supportive. I found new hobbies, and I became an overall more happy person. Just remember, everyone falls sometimes. Recovery is just getting back up again.
March 21st, 2017 12:19am
Take it day by day. Go through each day looking for every little good thing that happens to you, no matter how small, and record it. Use these positive experiences to make it through one day at a time without self-harm.
November 27th, 2017 11:34am
Self-harm is just an expression of other deeper emotional harm. When you learn to live with that you won't need self-harm to distract you from it.
July 13th, 2021 11:02am
As someone who's recovering from it, I have learned that find new hobbies or things to do helps a lot. Whenever I feel the need to self-harm, I listen to some calming music or do a bit of exercise or even draw. Sometimes I find that talking about it with a friend or writing about it in a journal helps tremendously. In my experience, it's good to find other "coping" mechanisms. It is also important to realise that progress is not a straight line and there will be difficult moments. It's always good to be kind to yourself and remember that even if it doesn't feel that way in the moment, it will be okay.