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How can I talk about/show people my many scars without them freaking out?

12 Answers
Last Updated: 10/16/2018 at 7:59pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Stacy Overton, PhD.


I am an enthusiastic life-long learner and also a professor of counseling. I have a passion for peoples stories and helping to guide and empower the human spirit.

Top Rated Answers
- Expert in Self-Harm
April 11th, 2015 6:41am
What's helped me most is being in recovery. Being able to say "but I'm doing better" has honestly been the #1 thing that's made talking about my self-harm easier. When it's still ongoing... they are going to worry. They worry a lot about me. It helps to be able to tell them you're seeing a therapist and/or psychiatrist. It also helps if you have concrete steps you are taking to recover so that you can let them know that you realize it's an unhealthy thing and that you're taking steps to try to keep yourself safe. Reading about and starting to using coping skills can also help soothe the concerns of those who you are talking to about your self harm.
May 22nd, 2015 10:28am
It might help to prepare people for what you're going to show them before they see them. Explain to them; "Look, I have some scars that I hope you're alright seeing. They're from difficulties in my past and I don't want you to think that I'm in any danger right now, and I'd really appreciate it if you were calm about this situation."
June 10th, 2015 2:47pm
I've only done this with a few members on here, sharing scars can be a really hard thing to do. The best method I know of is to have a sharing session type of thing. I share something, you share something. Eventually you'll both feel really awkward and want to change the subject but I must admit it's nice to get those scars out in the open by talking about them with someone because you never know. The person you talk to could have scars just as bad as yours.
July 28th, 2015 9:03pm
First, tell them your story. They'll be aware of what you're about to show them. Remember; you are a warrior, a fighter, and you are strong.
December 8th, 2015 9:48am
I guess the best thing you can do is tell them about what happened before, like, why or how you got them before actually showing them. Just stay low and don't jump to showing them immediately.
January 4th, 2016 3:20pm
I don't see why you would need to show them to others. I would only show them to someone you trust and expect to have in your life for a good amount of time. It also includes health professionals. If the topic turns to mental health, you can bring up your struggles and then bring up self harm to which they might ask to see the scars.
January 10th, 2015 5:23am
I try to tell people I trust. Tell them that it's something personal and you need to talk about it.
May 9th, 2015 5:30pm
You can start with a story,the story of how you got the scars,describe it in detail and with enthusiasm and at the end of story the climax is you revealing your scars
June 21st, 2016 6:43am
Talk/Show people that are close to you your scars because they will understand that you used to it but don't anymore. Talking or showing someone new will give them less time to understand.
December 5th, 2016 2:23am
It's really a personal decision, about what feels comfortable to you. In my experience, people haven't freaked out because I've explained that I went through a rough period, and that these are something that show that I have made it through that. There are a lot of ways to explain cutting scars, but you are valid no matter what anybody says or does
May 22nd, 2017 5:55am
It's often difficult to find the right time for these sorts of conversations, but sometimes if you have your scars open in public, people can ask about them and you can simply state the facts about your self-harm without being too dramatic or off-putting. You could also start conversations about mental health in general with people you are close to and follow on from there.
October 16th, 2018 7:59pm
Self harm or suicide attempt scars can be a painful reminder to you and it can be really hard not to feel ashamed, self conscious and fearful of allowing others to see. But this only Burris’s your emotions and is another form of hiding. It confines you but it’s super important not to let your scars define you. They say that you are strong and are still here despite pain that many people cannot understand. If people do not understand you or judge you, it is their fault and not yours. It would be judgemental and unfair if people to think anything less of you. Letting your scars show can be a freeing and terrifying experience.