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How do accept your scars? How you deal with the always having to be reminded of your failure?

36 Answers
Last Updated: 03/30/2020 at 8:11pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jill Kapil, PsyD

Psychologist

I have over 9 years of clinical experience, specialize in anxiety, and am passionate about my work. My approach is collaborative, empathic, supportive, and goal-oriented.

Top Rated Answers
Spiderman93
August 4th, 2015 6:39pm
dont look at the scars negatively. try and look at each as a story. a story that has gotten you to where you are today, or where you will be tomorrow. the past can not be changes, but you can change your future. stay strong and look past everything that has left a mark on you. you can do it! i believe in you!
PkyuuCookie
August 16th, 2016 4:55pm
I never saw my scars as a failure. I know it's weird but sometimes I don't want them to disappear. I hate it when people look at them and makes me wish to make them fade but I want them to stay... It's a way to tell me that I'm strong and that no one could hurt as myself.
Lisax
July 4th, 2017 8:10pm
Don't think scars remind you of your failure, let them remind you of the times youve been a warrior and fought through it all. Never see yourself as a victim, instead see yourself as someone who is a survivor. i have an ugly massive scar in the centre of my back from my neck to my bottoms. I could cover them up with multiple tattoos but why do so when scars are tattoos with a story behind. Scars fade, and so will the memories. For now, if you ever go through a bad time, look at them and think - "I've been through hard times before, I can survive this one too" :)
littlemisscurious
June 20th, 2016 8:17pm
I don't see my scars as a reminder of my failure, to me they're remains of a tough time that I've overcome. I'm definitely not proud of them or something, but I don't hide them neither.
PrincessShona
October 25th, 2016 6:57pm
We accept our scars by remembering where they brought us today. It made us into this beautiful, strong, person. We became stronger and a better versions of our self because of the struggles we went through at that time. Never forget that. They aren't a reminder of our failure but a reminder of how far we have come since than.
Anonymous
April 16th, 2015 2:25am
Scars doesn't necessarily mean failure it means there is always room for improvement. Also having scars shows that you have learned from what happened and can grow from it.
calmHand45
February 10th, 2015 12:10am
I accept my physical and emotional scars as a representation of what I have been through. I'm not ashamed of them, I feel that they tell a story of how strong I can be and how I can move past that pain.
Amber08
March 19th, 2019 10:06pm
I think it's about first accepting your past, the things you have been through. It's also very important to be kind to yourself. The moment you made those cuts there was a valid reason for you to do it. Maybe you felt like you needed to do it to survive, every reason is ok. Remember that in that moment, you had a good reason to do it. Don't get angry with yourself for doing it, that won't help. When I see my scars I am glad that I am me, including my scars. I don't feel proud for doing it but I know that, in that moment, I didn't want to choose another way to cope with whatever I was feeling. You can't change the past but you can change yourself and your experiences now by accepting your past. Take care
raisinmyremedy
March 19th, 2015 10:57am
I absolutely love my scars! I think for me, they're a constant reminder of how far I've made so far, and how I haven't gone back. A reminder that I'm a stronger person that I was years ago, and a constant reminder that if I made it through all those hard times, I will be able to make it through these times too, whatever those times may be. Sometimes, it feels strange when people look at them, but... Honestly, they're more of a reminder for me, not a message to them.
rebelangel67
August 18th, 2015 7:47am
I call mine my battle scars. I went through a tough, long, arduous battle. And I'm still here. I have those scars to remind me that I was attacked and called names and I came out victorious. I try to see them not as reminders of failure but as reminders of how far I've come. I see them as reminders to always keep fighting.
animalSpace92
October 4th, 2016 3:05pm
It of the thing is a matter of accepting the past as it is and gradually letting go of things that can block me off from becoming a better person.
MilesFides
May 9th, 2017 6:26pm
First of all thinking of your scars as a failure is the wrong point of view. Scars aren't a sign of weakness or failure. Scars are a sign of life. Every scar has it's own story. Maybe some of those stories make you feel sad or some of these stories make you feel hurt, but all theses stories, all theses scars have something in common: You survived. You didn't give up. You kept on. Yes, scars might leave a mark both physically and mentally. But every scar I have thought me a lesson. I don't see my scars as a sign of the painful past, but as a reminder to myself, that I am strong enough to keep on living. Life may have scarred me, but life does NOT scare me.
Anonymous
November 14th, 2017 8:11pm
Scars can be one of the most beautiful things people have. It means they must have been to hell and back and yet they are so strong they have come out the other end or are still fighting but are getting there.
AbbieAlexis
April 10th, 2015 4:45pm
By knowing that your are a soldier. A soldier who went to war within yourself but overcame it. Those scars are your scars from war. Know that yes, they were something from your past that wasn't entirely good but that you fought and you survived through it. They are a reminder of how strong you have become now after that.
dreamFriend29
July 27th, 2015 6:20pm
Scars are not a reminder of your failure. They are a reminder that once upon the time you were fighting a battle, which you won, because you are still here. I think acceptance comes with time. I used to hide mine for some time, now I do not even notice them until someone mentions them. Even this does not bother me anymore.
Anonymous
July 20th, 2015 3:07pm
Failures are always part of the process, and it's okay. Without it, we will not be successful. Don't give up because of one bad chapter in your life... Keep going. Your story doesn't end here
Priv8
May 29th, 2015 11:04pm
The fact is, that your scars are a part of you and they won't go away quickly. For me, I try my best to, instead of associating them with a failure on my part, think of them as success: they're scars, not open wounds, which means I've healed and gotten better.
Anonymous
April 24th, 2015 7:41am
Whenever I see my scars, it reminds me of my weakness. But, it also reminds me of how far I've gone since then and all my progress. Scars show the past and they are a good reminder to never go back and to always stay strong.
Anonymous
January 16th, 2018 11:39am
Your scars are a part of your body so in order to accept them you must accept your whole body which is mind body and soul. Your scars are not your failures they are reminders of the bravery you had to channel your pain into self-harm instead of death. That's emotional bravery at its finest. Your a warrior that survived the darkest thoughts of the mind and you have the battle scars to prove it. The strongest trees snap. It's the softer weaker ones that hold on through the storms. Stay strong friend.
powerfulPenguin3608
November 9th, 2017 4:22pm
its hard for me because people have ask me about my scars i'm sick and tired of people asking
Georgia247
March 6th, 2018 12:39am
I dont see my scars as failures. I see it as memories. Without these scars I wouldn't be who I am today
OrchestramusicianSarah
July 16th, 2018 9:57am
I view my scary as something that helped me to survive during a very hard time in my life. I think what really helped me is to not see my scas as such a bad thing. Yes, cutting isnt good and it would be nice to not have scars but nothing you can do will change the past so you have to learn to accept it. And self harming is not a failure. It may not have been healthy but that was just one of your coping skills. Everyone has some bad coping skills.
TaranWanderer
May 2nd, 2017 7:42pm
Having scars does not mean you failed. If anything, the fact that you have scars should remind you of the hard times you faced and your strength to overcome it (hence why they are now scars, and not still wounds). Also, scars don't always last forever, you can help them to fade if you don't like them. But ultimately the past is what it is, and you just have to look forward.
Anonymous
March 30th, 2020 8:11pm
Having scars is not a sign of failure, nor are scars anything to be ashamed of or embarrassed by. Life comes with natural hardships that may cause scars or unfavorable memories. Remember, scars do not show weakness, but strength. Your scars are a reminder that you were strong, capable and determined to make the best of your situation. Those unfavorable memories may come when you feel anxious or uncomfortable in some situations but remember you have been through and overcome many hardships in the past. You are resourceful and hardworking! You have been through so much already and have come out more tough and wise from your past experiences. You are capable of overcoming anything you experience in life. Everything is natural, the way you feel is normal and many people can relate to how you feel or even what you experienced. Communication with others who share experiences and have also overcome hardships is another way to become stronger. You may even help others going through what you have already overcome.
MusicLover49
July 19th, 2016 4:10pm
My scars, mental, emotional, and physical show me where I have been. It shows me how far I have come, and it motivates me to keep going
Emotions05
July 11th, 2016 8:43pm
scars are marks that you have done something fruitful..accept it with joy and it will remind you that you've tried, you failed but you tried to succeed. it makes you better than most persons.
Anonymous
July 11th, 2016 4:17am
often times it is really difficult to accept the scars left behind by self harm, abuse, or even just something as small as popping pimples. i personally just don't make a big deal out of it because chances are fewer people will notice if you don't say much about it. just think of those scars as a hard time that you overcame and as a symbol of your strength.
KristenHR
June 7th, 2016 4:36am
I use my scars to remind me of my strengths of overcoming, not of my failure. For me it was a coping skill that got out of hand and I had to work hard to stop i. So I see them reminders of how far I've come in haling and recovery.
SkylinePainter
May 24th, 2016 9:50pm
I don't see it as like I failed something. It is something in my life I had to go through and even though im not proud of them, I accept the way they belong to my life. As I say, "sad people have been just strong for so long". Im proud of myself that I'm here and scars were something that happened on the way here.
MindfulnessIsKey
February 3rd, 2016 12:15am
It took me a long time to deal with and accept my scars. I see them now as "battle scars," like soldiers and survivors of diseases possess and are at peace with. I don't see them as failure whatsoever since I am proud of the fact that I LIVED when times got rough. It wasn't the greatest coping mechanism for me, but I got through. Skin is on the outside... it isn't who we are on the inside. Once you accept the physical markings--- your emotional disposition becomes more important. You can do it, just try to think positively, and hopefully you will see them as I see my own! Best of luck!