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How do accept your scars? How you deal with the always having to be reminded of your failure?

36 Answers
Last Updated: 03/30/2020 at 8:11pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Melissa Strauss, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am client focused and believe everyone has a strength. I feel confident in seeing clients with generalized and social anxiety, depression and relational goals.

Top Rated Answers
August 4th, 2015 6:39pm
dont look at the scars negatively. try and look at each as a story. a story that has gotten you to where you are today, or where you will be tomorrow. the past can not be changes, but you can change your future. stay strong and look past everything that has left a mark on you. you can do it! i believe in you!
August 16th, 2016 4:55pm
I never saw my scars as a failure. I know it's weird but sometimes I don't want them to disappear. I hate it when people look at them and makes me wish to make them fade but I want them to stay... It's a way to tell me that I'm strong and that no one could hurt as myself.
July 4th, 2017 8:10pm
Don't think scars remind you of your failure, let them remind you of the times youve been a warrior and fought through it all. Never see yourself as a victim, instead see yourself as someone who is a survivor. i have an ugly massive scar in the centre of my back from my neck to my bottoms. I could cover them up with multiple tattoos but why do so when scars are tattoos with a story behind. Scars fade, and so will the memories. For now, if you ever go through a bad time, look at them and think - "I've been through hard times before, I can survive this one too" :)
June 20th, 2016 8:17pm
I don't see my scars as a reminder of my failure, to me they're remains of a tough time that I've overcome. I'm definitely not proud of them or something, but I don't hide them neither.
October 25th, 2016 6:57pm
We accept our scars by remembering where they brought us today. It made us into this beautiful, strong, person. We became stronger and a better versions of our self because of the struggles we went through at that time. Never forget that. They aren't a reminder of our failure but a reminder of how far we have come since than.
February 10th, 2015 12:10am
I accept my physical and emotional scars as a representation of what I have been through. I'm not ashamed of them, I feel that they tell a story of how strong I can be and how I can move past that pain.
March 19th, 2015 10:57am
I absolutely love my scars! I think for me, they're a constant reminder of how far I've made so far, and how I haven't gone back. A reminder that I'm a stronger person that I was years ago, and a constant reminder that if I made it through all those hard times, I will be able to make it through these times too, whatever those times may be. Sometimes, it feels strange when people look at them, but... Honestly, they're more of a reminder for me, not a message to them.
April 16th, 2015 2:25am
Scars doesn't necessarily mean failure it means there is always room for improvement. Also having scars shows that you have learned from what happened and can grow from it.
March 19th, 2019 10:06pm
I think it's about first accepting your past, the things you have been through. It's also very important to be kind to yourself. The moment you made those cuts there was a valid reason for you to do it. Maybe you felt like you needed to do it to survive, every reason is ok. Remember that in that moment, you had a good reason to do it. Don't get angry with yourself for doing it, that won't help. When I see my scars I am glad that I am me, including my scars. I don't feel proud for doing it but I know that, in that moment, I didn't want to choose another way to cope with whatever I was feeling. You can't change the past but you can change yourself and your experiences now by accepting your past. Take care
April 10th, 2015 4:45pm
By knowing that your are a soldier. A soldier who went to war within yourself but overcame it. Those scars are your scars from war. Know that yes, they were something from your past that wasn't entirely good but that you fought and you survived through it. They are a reminder of how strong you have become now after that.
April 24th, 2015 7:41am
Whenever I see my scars, it reminds me of my weakness. But, it also reminds me of how far I've gone since then and all my progress. Scars show the past and they are a good reminder to never go back and to always stay strong.
May 29th, 2015 11:04pm
The fact is, that your scars are a part of you and they won't go away quickly. For me, I try my best to, instead of associating them with a failure on my part, think of them as success: they're scars, not open wounds, which means I've healed and gotten better.
July 20th, 2015 3:07pm
Failures are always part of the process, and it's okay. Without it, we will not be successful. Don't give up because of one bad chapter in your life... Keep going. Your story doesn't end here
July 27th, 2015 6:20pm
Scars are not a reminder of your failure. They are a reminder that once upon the time you were fighting a battle, which you won, because you are still here. I think acceptance comes with time. I used to hide mine for some time, now I do not even notice them until someone mentions them. Even this does not bother me anymore.
August 18th, 2015 7:47am
I call mine my battle scars. I went through a tough, long, arduous battle. And I'm still here. I have those scars to remind me that I was attacked and called names and I came out victorious. I try to see them not as reminders of failure but as reminders of how far I've come. I see them as reminders to always keep fighting.
October 4th, 2016 3:05pm
It of the thing is a matter of accepting the past as it is and gradually letting go of things that can block me off from becoming a better person.
May 9th, 2017 6:26pm
First of all thinking of your scars as a failure is the wrong point of view. Scars aren't a sign of weakness or failure. Scars are a sign of life. Every scar has it's own story. Maybe some of those stories make you feel sad or some of these stories make you feel hurt, but all theses stories, all theses scars have something in common: You survived. You didn't give up. You kept on. Yes, scars might leave a mark both physically and mentally. But every scar I have thought me a lesson. I don't see my scars as a sign of the painful past, but as a reminder to myself, that I am strong enough to keep on living. Life may have scarred me, but life does NOT scare me.
November 14th, 2017 8:11pm
Scars can be one of the most beautiful things people have. It means they must have been to hell and back and yet they are so strong they have come out the other end or are still fighting but are getting there.
May 22nd, 2015 10:27am
Change the way you view your scars. Don't look at them as signs of failure--look at them the way a soldier might look at his wounds after battles. You were fighting a very difficult battle with mental illness and the misery in your life when those scars were made and what they show is that you survived in the face of adversity. As they heal they become proof that you succeeded in fighting and winning, not failing.
June 7th, 2015 5:58pm
Failure is apart of life, it's how we learn. You have to know and embrace failure to be successful and ask yourself this. Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.
July 13th, 2015 9:10pm
I don't see it as failure, I see it as a milestone (if you've been clean of harming yourself for a while) as you've been able to stop yourself in such a low time in your life. Those are apart of you now, they will be a reminder of how strong you were as you were strong enough to be able to pull yourself out of whatever you was facing.
July 14th, 2015 8:22pm
You learn to love yourself despite the scars on your body scars remind you of the past you had and how you overcame the barriers in your life they remind you that you won that fight and yoiu can sure as hell do it again don't look at scars in a negative way
January 19th, 2016 7:08pm
Seeing it as "failure" isn't the way to look at it. It's a sign of strength, and a reminder that you have been through much worse and you're still here. You didn't fail - you did what you needed to do to survive. There's nothing wrong with that.
February 1st, 2016 11:43pm
If you work at slowly changing your thinking to recognise those scars as your history, even if it is imperfect , it's still yours. Eventually you'll learn to own it!
February 3rd, 2016 12:15am
It took me a long time to deal with and accept my scars. I see them now as "battle scars," like soldiers and survivors of diseases possess and are at peace with. I don't see them as failure whatsoever since I am proud of the fact that I LIVED when times got rough. It wasn't the greatest coping mechanism for me, but I got through. Skin is on the outside... it isn't who we are on the inside. Once you accept the physical markings--- your emotional disposition becomes more important. You can do it, just try to think positively, and hopefully you will see them as I see my own! Best of luck!
May 24th, 2016 9:50pm
I don't see it as like I failed something. It is something in my life I had to go through and even though im not proud of them, I accept the way they belong to my life. As I say, "sad people have been just strong for so long". Im proud of myself that I'm here and scars were something that happened on the way here.
June 7th, 2016 4:36am
I use my scars to remind me of my strengths of overcoming, not of my failure. For me it was a coping skill that got out of hand and I had to work hard to stop i. So I see them reminders of how far I've come in haling and recovery.
July 11th, 2016 4:17am
often times it is really difficult to accept the scars left behind by self harm, abuse, or even just something as small as popping pimples. i personally just don't make a big deal out of it because chances are fewer people will notice if you don't say much about it. just think of those scars as a hard time that you overcame and as a symbol of your strength.
July 11th, 2016 8:43pm
scars are marks that you have done something fruitful..accept it with joy and it will remind you that you've tried, you failed but you tried to succeed. it makes you better than most persons.
July 19th, 2016 4:10pm
My scars, mental, emotional, and physical show me where I have been. It shows me how far I have come, and it motivates me to keep going