How do I cope with people pointing and staring at my Self Harm scars?

25 Answers
Last Updated: 01/15/2019 at 9:02pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Hope Hadding, MSW, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I am a professional therapist with extensive experience working with various mental health disorders as well as sexual issues. I am supportive and non-judgmental.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
May 23rd, 2015 7:26pm
I hope you don't harm yourself anymore, and I myself have several large scars that show pretty much all the time. It's totally up to you. I usually just don't show any bother to it. People will always look, although a lot of people don't even notice. If you feel like, you can just say they are your battle scars!
MissBiscuits18
November 30th, 2015 6:15pm
Don't feel ashamed of yourself. What you have done was fight to cope with your pain. People are judgmental and curious, so all you have to do if you catch someone staring is look them in the eye and smile.
Nahsha
April 12th, 2016 6:05am
If people do that, they are rude and ignorant for not knowing how it could make you feel.I'd brush them off, and avoid possible negative comments.
Anonymous
May 10th, 2015 4:55pm
Tell them what the reason for it is, it usually shuts people up. Tell them what causes it. Do not worry.
Anonymous
September 14th, 2015 5:32pm
I was just honest or didn't care. Those people are idiots you don't need to care about them. The scars are you own and there is no need for anyone else to know anything and if they don't get that, they're too stupid for your attention
Anonymous
December 28th, 2015 1:28pm
Ignore them, show thet you don't care about what they think and maybe they will stop to stare. Anyways, you don't need to harm, honey!
PeppermintHeart
May 5th, 2015 11:19am
I know this seems difficult but the best way to deal with such a thing is to ignore it. Many people (luckily) have never experiences the kind of negative emotion that leads you to hurt yourself in such a way and might consider it strange. Sadly some people do not have the decency to keep their thoughts to themselves and will openly stare. DO NOT FEEL ASHAMED OF YOUR SCARS. They are proof that you survived a very difficult time and this is something you can be incredibly proud of. If you feel confident enough stare them down, show them what it feels like to feel observed and exposed, so they might understand that this is not comfortable and not a nice thing to do. Please take care. x
iammyown
September 21st, 2015 1:03am
You could ask them to stop, or just be calm and walk away from them. Sometimes covering up in the summer can be tricky, but thin scarves wrapped prettily can be seen as a decoration.
Emiliesks16
November 3rd, 2015 3:55pm
Try to ignore them
adorableSun37
November 10th, 2015 7:27pm
You have many options. You can tell them the truth, you can cover up the scars and say nothing, or you can ignore them and not worry about what they think. How do you feel about those?
Anonymous
November 30th, 2015 7:42am
Try and avoid them .They will sure be making fun of you and this will lead you to more self-harm.
Anonymous
December 2nd, 2015 5:05am
You can remove yourself from the situation if you don't like their staring. If they ask about it, do what feels comfortable. If you don't feel comfortable talking about it, then say that you'd rather not talk about it. If you want to be honest, then you can say that you were going through a rough time.
Anonymous
January 25th, 2016 9:27pm
Ignore them. You shouldn't be annoyed, embarrased, PR ashamed, because your scars are a part of who you are. If people don't understand that, they are rude and not worth your attention. Good luck, hope this helped.
Anonymous
February 1st, 2016 1:50am
Keep your chin up. You are worth so much more than your scars and the people that decide that the scars are the most important thing about you are wrong. You should not feel like you have to justify yourself to perfect strangers who haven't the decency to keep their questions to themselves. Don't waste your time worrying about what you think they are thinking. In the great scheme of things, what one stranger on a bus thinks of you will not affect your life unless you allow it to. It will be hard to move past it at first, there is no way around that. But you fought with your worst demons and you survived. You can make it through a few insensitive people who think they are entitled to your story.
ImACow
March 21st, 2016 1:46am
Take no notice, it's far from anything that you should be embarrassed about so don't listen to the opinions of others.
gracefulHeart44
March 29th, 2016 8:30pm
Scars tell a story, obviously not a happy one but people can be very judgemental. I think that you are strong because you made it past that. If it bothers you too much, there is specific makeup for scars that will cover them or you can use Mederma or Vitamin E oil to help lighten and soften the scars so they don't appear as vivid.
Anonymous
April 12th, 2016 10:46pm
just try to ignore them if they say something be like oh those I don't remember that being there! just don't think about it
Anonymous
May 24th, 2016 10:09pm
There a two types of reacting: In the one hand you can directly tell them to stop it, when you have the braveness. I dont think that the people would expect that. In the other hand you could ignore it. Believe me: During the time you don´t notice the glances anymore and you´re not thinking about your scars and your environment as often as earlier :)
helpfulunicat
May 25th, 2016 7:26pm
sometimes ignoring it is easier said than done, but even when you cant, realize that it isn't you who is at fault- its them, because they don't understand. those are your battle scars, they show you are a survivor, and you have every right to be as confident about them as you want! someone who had been in a car accident wouldn't be expected to hide disfigurement- neither should you. but at the end of the day, you are you. do what makes you comfortable
Briannacheer
May 28th, 2016 12:56pm
You could cope with it a number of possible ways. You could either be proud of them and don't care what other people think - you could be happy that they are looking and staring because your scars show that you over came the battles of self harm. Or you could be embarrassed and hide them.
KristenHR
June 7th, 2016 4:43am
During the period of time when I was quite embarrassed, I would tell everyone that I was a tiger trainer. I got tired of telling that story and just started to say I was a cutter when asked. People staring is their problem, not mine.
Rebeccaw
February 7th, 2017 8:28pm
You're scars don't define you. You'll always be beautiful as long as you can love yourself. Your past is a mark of how far you have come since then. People have always stared at my scars. I got a meaningful tattoo on my arm to go with them so when people ask I am not ashamed of who o am or was.
ChloeKoala
March 6th, 2017 5:24pm
It can make you feel very self conscious but these scars show you've been through hell and back and survived! I always think if people see them and judge it's because they do not understand the pain I felt to make the cuts on my body. And their lack of understanding shows they have never felt such pain, a pain that I would not wish on anybody.
Charllouisee
September 12th, 2017 9:22am
First of all embrace them. You be gone through the hard times and now here's to looking forward. You've gone through the hard bit. Your a beautiful person and then scars you have have proved to yourself that you can do all this. Your a strong and beautiful person and everyone can see that
Anonymous
January 15th, 2019 9:02pm
Not many people have seen my scars due to where i put them but few have. Most just ask but some do tend to be offended. My way of dealing with this sort of situation is simply explaining that i went through a lot throughout my life and its my skin. I rather do something to myself than others around me. With those who make fun, i just ignore them because i know that they arent worth my time. Sometimes its harder to ignore and i may act a bit childish and say a few words that arent the best but i always apologize and state that they made me feel bad