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How do I explain scars when a young child asks about them?

198 Answers
Last Updated: 06/16/2022 at 7:30am
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
October 4th, 2018 10:19am
Never lie to a child. Always be truthful but in a way you can sugar coat the truth. You can say in true events what has happened but explain that you are better. Aside from that if you think that this is too graphic for a young child to know about simply but smartly avoid the question because if you dont answer in a way they will understand they will seek the truth for themselves and you never know how that can turn out especially knowing that children are very adventuress. Be honest but secure at the same time.
Rheya2004
October 4th, 2018 3:30pm
When a young child asks about my scars, I say I had an accident. I fell and got hurt. I didn't go see a doctor and get help, so now I have scars on my legs. If they keep asking, I'll say it was a bad accident when I was young. It was my fault. I didn't listen to my parents, so I got hurt. I'll tell them if they get hurt, they should tell their Mom and Dad so they don't have scars to. Then, hopefully they will talk to their parents, and won't end up like me.
Anonymous
October 17th, 2018 1:30am
Personally, I would not explain the complexities of emotional pain and self harm to a young child. It’s too difficult for them to understand and it might give them the wrong idea. While it may feel good for a time, you wouldn’t want a child to think that it’s a good way to handle stress/pain. Maybe you could pretend that they are from something else like an old Injury. Rock climbing scars always worked for me. If the young children you’re referring to our your children or very close to you, perhaps one day you could share the struggle with them when they are more capable of understanding.
DarienBlack
October 24th, 2018 10:49am
This is a great question. I have a lot of self harm scars, and I actually had a child ask about them in a really blunt way at a grocery store once. I froze for a moment, but then I told her that I was superhero at night and sometimes I got beat up, but that I always got the bad guy, and could she keep my secret for me? The kid was thrilled and the mom was happy with my answer! Children just say what is on their mind, they don't mean any harm by it, so don't worry when they ask!
ayesha3
January 19th, 2019 12:24pm
You could say: "I was fighting off dragons!"A humorous approach may be appropriate. "I was very sick, and that's why i got these scars." After all it's true, you were sick and that's why you resorted to harming yourself. You could say, "I was very sad at one time so I got the scars." If you are talking to an older child you can explain what self-harming is. Never give details or violent information; it might scare them or give them ideas. Sometimes you could say, just ask your parents. Or, you'll fimd out when you're older. Or, sometimes peple get scars when they're very sad.
chancey55
February 16th, 2019 5:03pm
Tell them that you've been through something and you came out stronger. Explain to them that scars don't make someone weak, but it also doesn't make them "cool", and that they don't want to have scars either. Children are very impressionable, and it's important for them to know that they don't need to put scars on their body to be like others. More and more children nowadays are exposed to and understand selfharm, so it's more than likely that they already know what it is, if they've been in school for a few years. But, if you must explain, say something like "I was hurt, but I'm better now."
OceanRest
April 27th, 2019 3:46pm
I am guessing you are talking about when they ask about scars from self-harm. I understand that this can be a tricky situation. You don't want to alarm the child, but also needs to have something to say that will "satisfy" them. I think you have to consider things like how old they are, whose children they are, and how you feel about things like white lies or half truths. For younger children you could maybe say something simple like "I got hurt". For older children you could consider something like "It is something sad that happened to me" and if you'd like you could add that you don't like talking about it. Or you could tell a completely adventurous story about a journey you took through a jungle once upon a time and you fell, but it was such an awesome place to see... That could get them side-tracked, but you will have to decide for yourself if you'd like to go for something wild and less true or something more cryptic and mundane but closer to the truth.
MallorySkylar
May 2nd, 2019 6:42pm
Often times this situation happens in public or with a child you're unfamiliar with. Hopefully right off the bat, their parent will pull them away or stop the conversation in its tracks. However, this sometimes is not the case. When you're trapped in this kind of situation it can be incredibly overwhelming. However, keep in mind that young children are innocent and generally think the best of you. They're asking out of curiosity, not to be hurtful. For your sake and the child's, don't be afraid to craft a fun story. For example, you could say they're your tiger stripes or that you're a spy and got hurt on a secret mission. Protect yourself and the child's innocence, but most of all don't let this set you back.
RosieMagical
January 15th, 2022 11:07am
You can maybe say that a scar is like a sign that remains after a wound. But it is not bad, it is a good sign, because you don't have a wound anymore, since it has recovered. So the child is not worried about you, and just thinks that it is alright and normal and healthy to have a scar, because it shows you're okay and you don't have pain anymore. The only thing that remains is a scar. Maybe it doesn't look so great, but it is like a reminder and always remember you are beautiful, even with a scar :)
Anonymous
May 22nd, 2019 7:30pm
I have personally told children at work (I worked at an animal handling place) that they are animal scratches, if you have a relevant hobby or job you could link your scars to you could use that, alternatively, you could say you got them from a pet, either yours, a friends, or a made up one as long as they wont find out. Older kids 14+ I have explained what they are, but only when they've been old enough to understand and unfortunately most of those kids already had difficult experiences which is terrible but meant they processed the information better. I always follow up that I'm happy now, I'm doing well, and I make sure I get permission before I tell them from their guardian
insightfulRose22
June 2nd, 2019 12:07am
I prefer to always be honest with them. I make sure to tell them in such a way that wouldn't scare them, but explain why we get scars, through injury, illness and so on. For example, a family member has several scars as a result of injury from military service, we explained to my son when he asked, that the family member had got hurt whilst working in his job as a soldier, the marks he sees now is where his body has healed his skin back together. We also explained that many people have many different scars for different reasons and that some people get upset by their own scars, as it reminds them of a time that made them very sad.
Anonymous
December 18th, 2020 1:42pm
There'll be a lot of different opinions about this, but personally, I believe in encouraging open conversations about mental health from a young age. By 'brushing off' questions about self-harm, you will be enforcing the idea that it is a taboo topic... It is important that children know that this can be talked about in society - so that they know they can ask for help should they ever need it! Keep in mind though, that young children can suffer with self-harm too, so it is important to discuss the subject in a way that is constructive - but not triggering. Don't be ashamed of your scars, they tell a story that you can use to help others.
Anonymous
June 17th, 2020 6:06pm
I would tell them that scars are a type of memory. They're physical reminders of the past that show that person's unique story. In some ways, they're similar to tattoos because both are markings on the skin that reflect important parts of that person's past. However, scars tend to reflect the more negative parts of that past and aren't usually pleasant reminders. But, scars aren't fully bad. While they might not have come from a good time in that person's life, they show that that person was able to overcome their hardships because the scar was able to heal. Scars are more than a reminder of the hard times in life, they're reminders that you overcame those struggles and were strong enough to continue on with your life. It's normally difficult to explain to children some of the darker parts of life, so just make sure to go about it in a tactful way and monitor the child's reaction to what you're saying. Good luck!
Anonymous
June 19th, 2020 3:17pm
Explaining scars when a young child asks about them is quite difficult. Often most, you do not want to share truly what it is and how it got there. Sometimes young children can learn in a healthier way what it is and maybe by calling it a battle scar against yourself. You can mention that you have been through hard ships and that this is just old memories of how you have gotten through them. They no longer hurt but still show to prove how strong you are in general. I bet your child will look up to you and understand.
Anonymous
July 17th, 2020 1:03pm
Scars are reninases of experiences it shows strength that you have over come a trial o sorts. it can be Self-harming is a behaviour and not an illness; it may be a symptom of psychological distress,Self-harming is different from suicidal behaviour; if a young person is self-harming it doesn’t necessarily mean they want to end their life. the reasons can be To escape unbearable distress.To cope with overwhelming or inexpressible emotions.To show their distress to others.To ‘punish’ themselves which can arise from past trauma.To feel something when they are ‘numb’ inside It has become a habit that is difficult to break or it is a compulsive behaviour they feel unable to stop without professional help.It may be a symptom of an underlying mental health disorder.
Jessica844
August 1st, 2020 7:29am
Explaining scars is a very difficult thing to do to anyone who doesn't experience self-harm but can be especially hard to explain to young children who can not even start to have a concept of it. I'm not sure how beneficial it would be to tell the truth to a child about where the scars came from because it may cause confusion for the child and can be a scary concept for them. I would say if possible to avoid the question and if necessary to reply, just try to explain to them in a vague short way that you got injured.
Iwillbeyourfriend28
August 15th, 2020 11:44am
If a young child ever asks about your scars. Then don't say that you are not comfortable answering it, just answer a young child that those scars are scars of a battle that you fought when you were you her and that those scars aways remind you how strong you were to I overcome and fight the battle. You need to give kids satisfying and logical answers, otherwise kids will be more confused and will probably get wrong idea of the scars. So, I woukd suggest you to answer like this. If you really don't want to tell, that's your choice but if you are happy and healthy, you can always answer that to a young kid.
SheSpeaks10203
November 18th, 2020 6:00am
Kids are nosy but they're also really understanding. Just say that you did things when you were younger and that's the mark that was left. If their super young its okay to say that its an old booboo, but if their old enough to understand, you can being to explain that you "did some things" when you were younger and that's what happened after they helaed. Its also okay to straight up say that that's a personal question and teach them a bit about boundaries. Kids arent as clueless or as mean as people tent to think.
hannahlistensalways
August 22nd, 2021 10:45pm
When a young child asks about scars, I start by being sensitive to the topic. Obviously there are superficial scars, like if you crash your bike and scrape your knee or you have to get stitches. But there are also scars that come from traumatic experiences. Trauma is different for everybody. It can be something as small as your mother forgetting to pick you up from school one day to coming home everyday to your father drunk or experiencing physical abuse. Scars do not go away, but they fade and they represent how much a person has been through. Scars help us grow, and they help us learn.
wonderousTree83
December 4th, 2020 8:44pm
The scars are the traces on our skin that remains after a big wound heals. They always remind us of how strong we were to overcome the injury and return back to our healt and good shape. Those scars are painless but still unique as they point out a story we have been through that noone else had. And still tell ur and tell others how strong we were and that we were able to fight the situation and brave we were to get over the pain and the loss until we could make perfectly and healed completely. Many people love the shape of their scars on their bodies they help them be grateful and see the good side of it.
Anonymous
December 9th, 2020 6:25pm
Children are young and impressionable. As such, it helps to be honest and truthful, while tempering our responses with compassion for how they will process and develop. If a child with at least some reasoning capacity is asking you about scars, it may help to preface it with a question about their own experience, such as, "Have you ever fallen down or gotten a boo-boo?" If they respond yes, you can simply say something like, "Sometimes, when people fall, or get hurt, it leaves a little mark, even if it was a long time ago." If they ask how or if you got hurt, you don't have to give them the specific details of what happened. You can simply say, "Yes, a long time ago, I got hurt, and it left a little mark, but it doesn't hurt anymore" or, "Well, it's a long story for another time, but I'm safe now, and it doesn't hurt anymore." This will help them to recognize that it's okay to talk about hard topics and that scars happen, and life goes on and gets better.
AMomentInTime1830
July 21st, 2021 11:55am
You use your best judgement not only based on the scars, but the age and understanding of the child. It’s okay to honest and open, but in some cases full disclosure may not be appropriate. Try to explain in a way that the child understands and feels satisfied in the answer you’ve given them. If they push the topic, and you know it’s something beyond what you should explain, tell them that. It’s okay to not give a full description as to how your scars came to be, and that maybe in the future when they’re a little older, you could address the questions again
Anonymous
January 30th, 2021 11:58am
In my opinion, it depends on where the scars came from, and how old the child is. I think that if a child is really young, its best to just say you got hurt. But if a child is starting to understand things, and is maturing, you could paint a light picture for them regarding how the scars came to be. For example, you could say you were in a really dark place in your life and you were pretty sad. But definitely don't make it too harsh, and if it gets too dark, you should probably just say that you got hurt accidentally.
sgtpippin89
May 8th, 2021 12:55am
With a child, it's best to keep things light. Depending on their age, you could tell a silly story, like fighting a bear or being a monster hunter (it could help with getting them to sleep at a later date!), or simply say you got your scars in an accident. It might be helpful to add at the end that you're okay now, and that they don't hurt you any more. If the scars are around any current injuries, say you're getting less clumsy as time goes on. If it's a teenager who might be struggling with the thought of self-harm, maybe come clean, admit you're getting through it one day at a time. They will feel better having someone who gets it and know that they can open up to you.
Magdalene138
April 28th, 2021 10:33am
When I was a small child, I once asked about my mom's scar on her hand. She told me the perfect answer I think. She said that scars are a sign of the person's strength. It means that the person went through something hard and was able to get through it because he is really brave. I now treat my scars as a thing that made me the woman I am today and I also think that telling your child that scars are not bad, is very important. You can also tell the child what exactly happened to a person to get that certain scar, but always say that it is okay now.
Aledge98
April 21st, 2021 8:45am
As a mum, I can understand the situation to a degree. I think the way to explain scars to a young child is that maybe be imaginative, if you don't want your young child to truly know the reasons behind them. Could say you fought a dragon or something imaginative until they are older and more understanding. If you want to tell them the truth, just explain in simple terms, but be mindful of the terms used. I can see this would be a difficult situation and you don't want your young child to become upset. I hope I have helped in some way
Anonymous
February 18th, 2021 2:36am
Tell them that they are a battle that has been fought. Tell them that but even though it seems bad, dont tell them the truth. When you are exposed to that kind of thing when you are a child, it could make them realize that they could do that too, and thats not what we want. I know it seems terrible but if you don't feel like talking to them about it you could say that you were in a battle like i said above. Technically, you were. A mental battle so you aren't lying about it. I hope this helps.
Anonymous
January 17th, 2021 5:28am
Scars are the reminder of the time when life tried to break you but failed They are like secret roadmaps to a person's history, the fears he has overcome The scars we bear are the signs of a competitor Just like bravery tattoos life has given us That's why people carry them with courage, because they are proud that they have faced the toughest of challenges and are still willing to fight It's a gift only to the strongest of souls, capable of making this world a better place, by treating others with the kindness they once longed for
Anonymous
July 11th, 2021 4:33am
Open and honestly tell them how it happened and answer their questions what ever they might be. Encouraging them to open up by seeing me doing so. Also ensuring that the conversations are age appropriate, if we don't do this we might be either under explaining which can alter the way in which children see themselves or we over explain and the message get lost when talking above their capabilities. Also if we explain above their years they may be subjected to information they aren't quiet mature enough to hear and take on which again can affect their development.
Actuallynobody017
January 3rd, 2021 9:52pm
I understand it is beyond your emotional control to describe that. It is certainly tough to explain that to a young child. They will not understand that and will ask more questions indeed. In my opinion you don't have to tell them exactly but you can tell them that it hurts you, they would feel it. You can tell them that you are working on them and you are applying medicines properly or you can tell them they are old scars if you don't have new scars now. It is also to note that if what I am thinking is what you are going through, then it is not right on your mental health as well as physical health. You must talk to someone professional and experienced on that matter. That would be best for you and the child.