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How to deal with self-harm alone?

230 Answers
Last Updated: 03/27/2021 at 6:18am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Deane Rain Marie, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I take a holistic approach in working with eating disorders, mood disorders, relationships, and the LGBTQ community. I use EMDR, Dreamwork, Stories, CBT and Cinema therapy.

Top Rated Answers
cuddlyLove60
February 1st, 2018 12:19pm
find different ways to cope . try drawing on the areas you wanna harm. It helps alot . WHen i was harming I did this and it helped
Vanessagomez18
February 9th, 2018 2:28am
self harm is hard I admit. but if you believe in yourself and you think you can get over self harm alone thats amazing, setting goals to stop and leaving what you use to hurt yourself behind will help. if you can do it alone I suggest you ask for help immediately
Anonymous
February 11th, 2018 10:20pm
Firstly, figure out the reason why you do it. Second, think of alternate things you can do when you feel the urge to self-injure. The 'triggers' that make you want to, can also be given an alternate mindset :)
MollyCule
February 14th, 2018 4:14am
I like the Calm Harm app. It gives you a list of reasons you want to self harm to pick from, and based on what you select it makes alternative suggestions. You can also make yourself a safety box with distractions — word searches, coloring book and pencils, notebook, a deck of cards, fidget spinners, stress balls, rubber bands, lavender oil — and open that when the urge arises. Best of luck.
Fxxithyyy
February 17th, 2018 9:04pm
Well, this is a very difficult subject. Self-harm is not something that should be dealt with alone, it's important that you have someone that you can trust because it's very scary to deal with it alone. Try to set goals for yourself.
Anonymous
February 21st, 2018 1:04am
I choose to sit on my hands, when I can’t get away. Also, I go for a run to clear my mind. It can also be helpful to curl up on the couch and watch your favorite television show or movie.
Samantha002
February 22nd, 2018 7:51am
Self-harm is something I struggled with at a younger age. One of the biggest ways I overcame my struggle was to draw where I wanted to self harm. Or look in the mirror and compliment myself until I no longer seen reason in harming myself.
Engineeringhappiness
March 8th, 2018 10:55am
focus on something other than self harm. think about something that makes you happy. then you will succeed.
WantToHelpp
March 9th, 2018 6:06am
Set goals for yourself. Like if you cut try to cut less than once a week. Then once you complete that up the time. Let’s say less then once a month. And just keep upping the time until you’re not harming yourself anymore.
Caringheart23
March 30th, 2018 12:04pm
It's very difficult to deal with it alone. I hope you can find someone who can walk with you through the process. If not, try to find what starts the need to self harm the most and then look for new coping strategies. But again, I recommend you find someone who can help you with it, cause you don't have to face it alone. Wish you the best ❤
GuardianAngel77
April 7th, 2018 3:04am
How I deal with self harm. Take a walk. I pet my animals and talk to them. Watch TV, write about how I feel. Color in a color book.
Apollosdaughter
April 7th, 2018 3:17am
Through meditation and trust within oneself. Pray to God not to take this self harm away from you but to give the will to face such circumstances and resist against any wrong i do towards my body. Because it is in the end your Karma which makes you.
Anonymous
April 7th, 2018 5:22pm
It's hard. Trust me it's very hard. It's not impossible, you can do it! Find someone who understands and talk to a professional if it gets worse. Distract yourself, the urge to self-harm will pass. Find something distracting and focus on that.
Anonymous
April 15th, 2018 10:25am
No one should ever have to deal with things like this alone and I know it’s very scary to speak up about it however it’ll be so worth it when you’ve got that off your shoulders to someone. But if you’re not quite confident with speaking up just yet, that’s okay, make sure EVERYTHING that’s being used is clean and you care for the cuts, bruises, scratches etc. Someone is always there to listen 🧡
Anonymous
April 1st, 2020 9:16pm
You could try looking into different resources like websites and phone numbers. I like keeping an accountability journal and writing in it about what had happened that day. Or you could just try self motivation techniques, there is a lot to keep you occupied so you can stay away from self-harm. There's also a bunch of different alternatives to self-harm you could look into trying. I know its hard to do it alone. You have got this. There are so many things that you can do to deal with it by yourself and so you don't have to feel alone in it.
magneticLight30
April 21st, 2020 9:03pm
dealing with self harm alone is not easy. After a time more than physical harm it becomes more about urges or quick fix to control all the emotions, the darkness inside. But if you decided to deal with it then there is nothing stronger then a strong will. Whenever you feel the urges, try to think about the positive, the happy moments of your life. try to think that you are more than this, and you can overcome it. when you feel like to self harm try to replace it with some productive work, like painting or working out or anything you like. this will channel all those erratic thoughts. recently I was feeling like to self harm myself and i painted instead and it turned out to be my best till now. Trust me you will overcome it :) Try to get rid of this dementors of self harm by expecto patronus of yours :D
Ginevra962
August 5th, 2020 9:36am
Dealing with selfharm can be very difficult. There are various grounding techniques. You can try to distract yourself, or paint on the point where you want to self harm or just stop doing anything and posticipate it a little while longer every time. Just say. I'll do it in 10 minutes, next time it'll be 20 than 30 until the urges pass. Or you can take care of yourself, do a face mask, take a shower anything that is good for you while listening to relaxing music. And if you can't fight it and relapse remember to take good care of your injuries to avoid infections.
ahoyanita
November 6th, 2020 6:39am
Self harm isn’t just cutting. It could be not letting yourself do something like eat or go to the bathroom, Putting yourself down for no reason. If you are going through this darling it will be okay. You deserve happiness. If no one is there for you. Hi I’m Anita and I am proud of you. You are strong and beautiful. You deserve the world. Message me I will be there for you. If you can’t write in a book. Wrote down what made you happy today. One thing if you wrote nothing, write yourself. You are your own happiness. You will get through this! I am here for you!
Sunisshiningandsoareyou
March 27th, 2021 6:18am
Hey, I am sorry to know you're experiencing self harm , while it's sometimes inevitable and we got to deal with difficult stuff alone, but it's super okay to ask for help and support too . I've recently heard about the Butterfly Project, it's a project which basically asks for self harmers to draw a butterfly, or any living thing they feel close too, on their hand or the spot where you're most likely to harm yourself , now the task is to keep the butterfly alive , if you scratch or harm on it in anyway, it will die . I think this is a great idea for controlling self harm urge, one can try at it , it can be difficult in the beginning, but our only goal is to keep the Butterfly alive for as long as we can (that implies we are delaying self harm by that time ) and let it fade away naturally. One engages in self harm when they are hyper stressed or fidgety , and need some distraction, it becomes a pleasurable expression for some, so what helps is to distract yourself using healthier coping mechanisms and distraction techniques, so do whatever you feel more comfortable with , maybe talking to a friend or someone you can trust , seeking help on anonymous platforms, hiding your self harm tools to postpone it as long as you can, till that urge passes , drawing or painting, listening to music, napping , doing anything that you find fun and relaxing. Please know, you're not alone , and you're trying, and we are so proud of you 💓
Anonymous
June 23rd, 2016 8:00pm
I felt like I couldn't deal with it. It just kept getting worse and worse but I finally found a way. Music and sport. I right my own songs and pour my heart into them. I also did Thai boxing which really helped.
Anonymous
June 30th, 2016 5:22pm
The best way to deal with self-harm alone, is don't. Find a support system. Even if its not a professional therapist. Find a friend, or a loved one, you can count on and go to when you think you may self-harm. Talk with this person, let them help you work through your emotional confusion and pain. Let them be a voice to put a different perspective on what you're going through. Sit with them in silence if nothing else, using them as a reason to not harm. Dealing with self-harm on your own is difficult, and scary. And when you fail, the results can have a devastating effect on your self-esteem and confidence. You may not be doing it to actually commit suicide, but it is easy to lose control and do something you regret when things get to tough. I have been there. I never wanted to die; I was ashamed that self-harm was the only way to deal with my emotions. The physical pain made more sense than the emotional confusion. I always did it in secret, out of shame, and passed the cuts off as cat scratches. One night, after a particularly rough week, I lost control. I disassociated and stabbed myself in the leg in front of someone. I scared them, I made them worry. More importantly, I scared myself. I tried to deal with my self-harm on my own, and I failed miserably. I hated myself at that point. That person made me get help, and I couldn't be more grateful. Please, if you are self-harming. Find someone, anyone to talk to. It could save your life.
Natalie04
July 1st, 2016 5:54am
I have dealt with self-harm, too, so I understand what you are dealing with. It is best to have people who are willing to help you during your situation,but sometimes you have to work through it alone. Realize that harming yourself will leave scars, and you will be defined by those scars for the rest of your life. Also, realize that it is extremely difficult finding clothing to cover your scars, and dealing the shame will be almost impossible. Tell yourself that you are not worth the scars, and prevent yourself from doing it again. If you cut, throw away the blades. If you excessively scratch, wear gloves or create a habit such as tapping your fingers.
Anonymous
July 1st, 2016 7:24am
Remember that no matter how bleak life seems and how alone you think you are, no one is ever alone. There's someone there. Either right next to you or far away behind a screen (a phone's or tablet's or computer's). You don't have to deal with it alone. Someone will be there for you
Anonymous
July 2nd, 2016 6:21pm
You don't have to, tell a friend who will support you or talk to a listener or other member at 7 cups. If you really don't want to do that, exercise at the time of day you would usually harm, it takes up your time and gets you too tired to hurt yourself. I am so sorry that you have to go through this pain, but you never have to bear it alone.
omica
July 2nd, 2016 11:24pm
I began finding other ways to avoid my self-harm by distracting myself and doing different things. Maybe taking a nap, or resting.
naturalForest64
July 3rd, 2016 2:12pm
Dealing with self harm takes resilience. To stop, you need to have a better alternative and really want to. Using ice cubes, drawing on yourself, or using an elastic bands are good alternatives, but deep inside you need to realise that Self Harm is having a bad impact on you and others. It should never be anyone's technique to rely on.
emitlove
July 6th, 2016 3:36am
You can't. Isolation is one of the worst things that you can do to yourself when you're struggling. There are psychological studies that show that we as humans were "designed" to be relational beings. So as hard as it may be for you to open up to someone about your self-harm, please do. You don't want to risk your health even more than it already is. Talk to someone you trust, get help from a professional, and remember that there is hope.
Anonymous
July 10th, 2016 4:09pm
You should not try to recover alone its important to surround yourself with support self- harm is very addictive and you can go back to it when you are very stressed even the smallest trigger will get to you but with support you can really get over it!
Ibearhugyou
July 10th, 2016 10:43pm
Self harm ahh. Learn the reasons why you do it and try to think, do you still want to hurt yourself. Is it really worth it? I mean your body is beautiful regardless, do you still want to hurt yourself even more. For whatever reason it is that you are doing it. If it's for people that are hurting you, think are they really worth your pain? NO! You are beautiful and I'm pretty sure you are strong. You can be your own therapy, look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself how amazing you are. You are worth it! Your body is worth it and your life is worth it. Everyday look at yourself in the mirror and say "I'm very beautiful" I love my life, and I love everything " I know of experience and Im already feeling good :)
wolfenstein13
July 13th, 2016 6:00am
according to my experience, you should take an empty box or any object you hate and break that not u:)