Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

How to deal with self-harm alone?

243 Answers
Last Updated: 05/14/2022 at 3:18pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
MollyCule
February 14th, 2018 4:14am
I like the Calm Harm app. It gives you a list of reasons you want to self harm to pick from, and based on what you select it makes alternative suggestions. You can also make yourself a safety box with distractions — word searches, coloring book and pencils, notebook, a deck of cards, fidget spinners, stress balls, rubber bands, lavender oil — and open that when the urge arises. Best of luck.
Anonymous
February 11th, 2018 10:20pm
Firstly, figure out the reason why you do it. Second, think of alternate things you can do when you feel the urge to self-injure. The 'triggers' that make you want to, can also be given an alternate mindset :)
Vanessagomez18
February 9th, 2018 2:28am
self harm is hard I admit. but if you believe in yourself and you think you can get over self harm alone thats amazing, setting goals to stop and leaving what you use to hurt yourself behind will help. if you can do it alone I suggest you ask for help immediately
xxabbey
January 24th, 2018 8:35pm
Well first of all good self harm alternatives,because you shouldnt be hurting your body its too precious dont cause pain upon yourself because of your emotional pain
Anonymous
January 12th, 2018 10:51am
There are so many alternatives to self harm. One of the most highly regarded is to hold a piece of ice on the area you normally harm yourself, or to squeeze it in your hand. Once the ice has melted, the urge should have passed
Anonymous
December 29th, 2017 5:15am
Find some way to distract you from the urge to self-harm, whether it be a hobby, cuddling with a pet or a stuffed animal to feel less lonely, or just browsing the internet or reading books to find things you're interested in.
bakeonthelake
December 23rd, 2017 12:37am
From personal experience, it’s best to find what keeps you occupied and happy and focus on that instead or do the Butterfly Project to prevent from future self harm
Anonymous
December 10th, 2017 8:29pm
first, please, do not forget, you do not have to face it all alone, there are always some people who are ready to listen and support you, but right now if you are not feeling like talking to anybody, i could say, think yourself as somebody else, i say that every time, imagine your younger self and imagine everything you do, you are doing it to that fragile younger version of yourself, the child . Is that good to punish somebody like that? would you do it to someone else? all the time we worry about failing classes, failing our parents , disappointing people and etc, but what about failing ourselves? what about being faithful to ourselves? Be more sensitive to yourself
Anonymous
December 9th, 2017 10:58pm
When we are alone our feelings of wanting to self harm can be amplified. 7 cups can be a great resource when feeling alone as it gives us a safe place to talk about the things triggering our urges. I also find that distraction techniques work the best as urges tend to lessen with time. When distraction isn't working you should try to find alternative coping methods that work for you.
Anonymous
December 8th, 2017 2:17am
always talk it out with your close family members. it may seem that you have no one to go to but trust me there's people out there that are willing to help.
Emily619
December 7th, 2017 3:06pm
Self-harm can be very difficult to handle! Luckily, similar to other addictions, alternatives can be used, such as distracting yourself, the Butterfly Project, and so on.
Anonymous
November 29th, 2017 11:45pm
Selfharming is common coping method. You should try distracting yourself or speaking to someone you have trust in and finding the reasons why you are selfharming.
Anonymous
November 24th, 2017 7:29pm
You don't, but what I did it every time I tried to harm myself I would always have a hair tie on my wrist and I would sling it at myself so I wouldn't do it.
Anonymous
November 22nd, 2017 3:56pm
There is no healthy way to deal with self harm by yourself. You need to reach out to trusted friends or professionals. What you are going through is not something you should go through alone. I know it is hard to start a conversation, but having a support network will make all the difference. Talk to a professional and find the best way to cope and get better.
kaisea
November 19th, 2017 3:31pm
Take your mind of it by distracting yourself. Go to a different room. Open a book, your phone or the television.
gracefulLove78
November 18th, 2017 10:44pm
Try not to do it if you feel like doing it try do something else to take youre mind off it like ready a book or play a game
Anonymous
November 18th, 2017 5:36am
Self-harm is very hard to deal with alone, but if it is necessary, an effective method of dealing with it is distraction. If you feel an urge to hurt yourself, try to distract yourself with something else (Netflix, a walk, cooking food, etc.) This resource (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-self-harm/t9418-alternatives-self-harm/) is extremely helpful and detailed of all the ways you can avoid hurting yourself.
usefulUnicorn10
September 23rd, 2017 9:30pm
There's actually a method that I personally tried and helped me a lot. Any time you feel you want to cut, instead of cutting yourself you draw a butterfly on yourself with a pen. You name each butterfly with the name of someone or something you love and you care about and if you cut yoursel all of the butterflies will die. This helps you take care of yourself and the persons/things you love.
RoseBlossomed
April 13th, 2017 3:33pm
Remember that you are worth more than whatever outside or internal pain you are dealing with. Hurting yourself only hurts you further, and punishes yourself, which you do not deserve to do. Using coping methods like art, stim/fidget toys, and self soothing videos can help you distract yourself when urges happen.
LovableGeek16
July 20th, 2016 9:58am
Don't please, come to me if you can't come to anyone else or just need a friend but please don't go through it alone. It hurts and is already painful enough but having to deal with alone is just too much for one person to handle. I've been there, I used to self-harm and I almost died, please don't make the same mistakes I did. Please come to me if you ever need anything at all. ❤
Danielle1975
January 20th, 2019 11:27pm
Try writing or talking to one of the listeners on here if you need a distraction I always found going on a walk listening to music helped me, please though try and seek professional help. I also found an app called 'headspace' is extremely helpful and can distract you and calm you down. I always found self-harm to be a distraction from your thoughts so trying to find something else to do when you get the thoughts helps even if its crying in the shower for 2 hours but please try to speak to one of us or a professional
Anonymous
April 12th, 2019 1:44pm
I've found what really helps is I keep a box near my bed (where my urge to self harm often starts) full of nice things-like photos of loved ones, little meaningful presents that I've been given by family and chocolate, of course. Whenever I feel the urge to hurt myself, I just delve into my self-care box. Another thing is I've since removed what I use to self harm and hide it in my kitchen cupboard (I currently live in accommodation). For me, it creates just another reason not to self-harm (i.e I have to get out of bed and into the cold kitchen)
InsaneImperfection202
April 12th, 2019 3:40am
You shouldn't. Reach out to someone you trust, or even a listener on here to get the support and help you need. Self-harm is a sign of detrimental mental health, and it's really important for it to be addressed by someone who is willing to help. There are many ways to improve urges to self-harm, but having someone you can rely on to listen and talk to you about your issues is so important for getting on the right path to getting better. Try reaching out to someone on here or on another mental health page because there are many people suffering with similar issues.
Solia22
April 4th, 2019 2:41pm
A self harm period is a very difficult and trying time. Furthermore it's extremely difficult to find the motivation to stop. If you don't have the option of talking to someone about your situation, then there are several methods that you can replace and prevent yourself from self harming. Firstly, even it you yourself don't believe it, tell yourself positive and affirming things. Secondly, some things that you can do to replace self harm when you do feel the urge come along includes: rubbing an ice cube on the area, snapping a rubber band on your wrist, scribbling furiously on a piece of paper with a crayon, and have a fidget toy at hand. For anyone going through this, maybe you can challenge yourself to try one of these a week and see what works for you :).
Anonymous
April 3rd, 2019 7:27pm
The way you deal with self harm is that you try to focus your mind on other things so that you won't be tempted to self harm. Self harming only hurts other people. You're only going to hurt your loved ones or the ones that really care about you. Self harming is never going to be the answer for anything i can promise you that. I know what it feels like to be tempted to but just know that it's never the answer for anything. Try to talk to someone about it and let someone know those kind of thoughts so that someone can help you and so that your not going through it alone.
awesomeSunset58
April 3rd, 2019 1:26am
Self-harm is a hard thing to deal with especially alone. I dealt with it alone for a while, then my friends figured out and actually helped me a lot. I recommend talking to a friend you can trust about it. If you dont want to do that come up with some coping mechanisms. Some coping mechanisms can be, but aren't limited to, Drawing on yourself or, Rubbing ice on yourself. There is also the butterfly, Its where you draw a butterfly where you would normally self-harm, naming it after someone you love and who cares about you. You cant scrub it off or self harm other wise it dies.
JubeJube
January 10th, 2019 9:39am
I tend to listen to music and funnel energy into working out rather than self harm. Even some of the saddest music I find is relatable and let's me release any pent up emotions by crying. Being secluded for 2 weeks at a time can really test you mentally when you're having a bad day and I find even talking to a stranger is enough to remind you that you can connect with someone in your darkest of hours when seeking help. I try everything to avoid self harm as I have been there myself, countless times. There is no shame in asking for help, everyone is human and everyone falls down sometimes.
HoneyBadger88
October 18th, 2018 1:10am
How you can deal with self harm, alone is simply taking it in small increments. Such as using an ice cube where you would usually harm yourself, until you feel the need that you don't have to. Another thing that you can do is draw a butterfly where you want to harm yourself, imagine that as one of your loved ones, whenever you hurt that butterfly, you're hurting your loved one. You have to think about the people that you love and the people that care about. With this process, you'll slowly train yourself to not need to harm anymore.
Anonymous
November 7th, 2018 7:17am
Dealing with self-harm alone can be a lonely experience because of the stigma associated with it. If you are trying to stop the behavior, in my experience, it was useful to have supporters on your side. These are people that will help hold you accountable without judging you if you relapse. If you are not ready to stop, you may start employing some different coping mechanisms to lessen the risks associated with self-harming. Try to determine what role the behavior is playing for you, and identify alternative options for coping with that problem. You don't have to do it alone.
CuddlyPanda
January 26th, 2019 8:28am
I tried to deal with self harm alone, in the midst of my hardest times I needed help. But now I can manage my self harm urges alone through the tools I learn in counselling. I know that sensory things are great, hand creams, incense, fairy lights, music, etc In fact I have a Battle the Storm playlist for when I feel like self harming. Writing about it, journaling or poetry helps me sort out what I am feeling. Then taking some medication to calm me down, sleeping and sometimes just putting it off again and again help at my worst. When I know that I am really about to do it I try not let myself have the time. For me I do it before I have time to think, so I start spending time getting busy. This is what works for me so far #almostayearselfharmfree