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How to deal with self-harm alone?

221 Answers
Last Updated: 08/30/2020 at 8:01pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Deane Rain Marie, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I take a holistic approach in working with eating disorders, mood disorders, relationships, and the LGBTQ community. I use EMDR, Dreamwork, Stories, CBT and Cinema therapy.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
July 27th, 2016 8:55pm
You can't deal with it alone except hurting yourself more and more with time. If you want to stop, you need someone.. If you aren't comfortable talking about it to people you know you can seek help online.
Betka
July 28th, 2016 2:12pm
Look up how to properly care for your wounds, try to find online therapy, pro-recovery groups, healthy ways to cope and people like you. Ask them if your wounds look okay, they're not infected, ways how to dispose blades safely and their recommended therapists.
Andy7575
July 29th, 2016 1:34am
There are a plethora of ways to deal with self-harm alone. The key thing for me is to distract myself until the urge to harm goes away. I'm finding that it's a long process to get my mind completely out of the cycle, but well worth it. Eventually, you won't even need to distract yourself because the urge won't be there anymore. It is best to create a list of what to do. I like to either take a walk, surf the web for inspirational or funny material, or listen to music. If they urge is really intense and I find that I have to do something physical, rubbing ice on my skin or working out are great coping mechanisms. My favorite is kissing the skin that I so awfully and roughly cut open in the past. To me, it feels as if I'm giving myself the ultimate self-care by giving light kisses instead :)
Lizzycares082
July 30th, 2016 6:06pm
Self-harm is when someone deliberately harms himself or herself as a way of dealing with difficult feelings, overwhelming situations, or experiences. Self-harming might make you feel better in the moment but you'll regret it , Here are some ways to stop self-selfharming: •Go somewhere you can't cut •Call someone you love talking to •Distract yourself with hobbies or something time consuming • Delay Self-harming
Anonymous
July 31st, 2016 2:15pm
Try to take your mind off of it by reading, playing video games etc. You can also draw pretty things where you self harm or on your arms or in a notebook or something to distract yourself :)
miraculousBeauty49
August 4th, 2016 6:49pm
Whenever you feel the urge, put your feelings into something else. It could be art,dance or sport or whatever you like most.
Tiffany88
August 5th, 2016 2:00am
Don't. Loneliness and isolation are both things that perpetuate self-harm. It is a mechanism to help you get through the painful experiences you are having. Seek help from trusted adults.
Anonymous
August 5th, 2016 7:04am
Dealing with self harm isn't easy, but dealing with it alone isn't going to make it very easy. You could talk to a listener on 7cups completely anonymously whenever you feel the need to cut & hopefully after you've talked about it youll feel better. However if you insist of dealing with it on your own there are many coping methods. Eg squeezing an ice cream, drawing with a red pen where you want to cut, squeezing an orange. If you look up coping techniques for self harm online there will be many more.
Anonymous
August 5th, 2016 8:18pm
Dealing with self harm alone wouldn't actually be possible. You would need some medical help to directly deal with it
Anonymous
August 7th, 2016 12:21pm
Try out whatever coping technique works for you. Identify the thought that causes you to self harm record it.. Review it.. And replace it with an alternative positive thought..
Anakyaa
August 7th, 2016 5:17pm
I have experienced with that myself. and i would say that you might want to try and find something you enjoy doing . For me it was drawing. So every time i wanted to harm myself i would force me into doing drawings. and it actually worked for me .
Sparklies
August 7th, 2016 11:51pm
I would not recommend trying to deal with this alone as it leads to frustration and suffering in silence. There are people you can reach out to in your life. I know that it can be difficult to reach out to others about this as it's seen as a silly thing to do by others; Self harm is nothing to be ashamed of at all and I hope that you get help from others and not do this alone because I've been there and it's really unpleasant.
Supergirl94
August 10th, 2016 6:04am
Be positive, about life and about yourself. Love yourself
Anonymous
August 12th, 2016 2:27am
You can't. Don't feel afraid to ask for help, it's human nature to need help and either family, friends or 7cups can help.
Anonymous
August 12th, 2016 2:50am
Try to distract yourself by doing other things like, eat good food, fix your nails, read a book, watch netflix and so on..
Anonymous
August 13th, 2016 3:22am
Forgive yourself and set goals for yourself to quit. Try to talk to someone about it, it's a lot harder to work through it yourself.
Anonymous
August 14th, 2016 11:54am
Use coping techniques or distraction techniques. Distracting yourself from the urge to self harm can really help and can prevent you from self harming.
Anonymous
August 18th, 2016 2:27am
Just slowly increase the time between cutting, from an hour to two etc, if you feel a desperate need go ahead. Setbacks are natural.
Shhh123
August 21st, 2016 10:06pm
Write how you feel every day in a little book or your phone and when you are over feeling that then burn the book or delete it on your phone
Anonymous
August 28th, 2016 4:15pm
Every time you feel an urge to self harm, splash some cold water on your face, or go do something you like. If the urge gets too strong, rub an ice cube on your skin, or draw a line with a red marker instead of hurting yourself.
EsmeRose
September 1st, 2016 8:02pm
It can be hard to deal with alone. However there are little ways that can help you cope. One includes wearing a bobble or elastic band around your wrist and twanging it against your wrist when you feel the urge to harm yourself. Other ways include trying to be as positive as possible, for instance, taking days to go for walks, watching movies you love, buying that shirt you really liked, whilst in the act of distracting yourself, you would also be improving your mood slightly, giving less of an urge to harm yourself.
CharlesGabranth
September 2nd, 2016 2:47pm
You have to find something that bring you joy when you need it, something to evade those realities that hurts you, and when you feel ready, face those things and exceed them. Find something that give a taste to your life.
Anonymous
September 2nd, 2016 8:36pm
Stress relief is most important, but in a way that causes as little damage as possible. Since personal pain is so important, eat something extremely spicy. Seriously, if you think a habanero is not hot then eat a pepper/something with a pepper that is a lot hotter. You will regret it, just like wanting to get over a cold or a flu. Too spicy is painful but better than bleeding and can be as painful as needed.
Anonymous
September 3rd, 2016 10:11pm
You are not alone, love! Self-harm is a hard situation to be, I'm sorry by that, and I want you to know we, 7cups community, have your back! Dont doubt PMing a listener, (browsing them, connecting live, etc). We will be glad to help you during this tought situation
Anonymous
September 9th, 2016 11:55pm
Try and draw butterfly's wherever you feel like you want to self harm and if you do self harm the butterfly dies
ffmedic
September 14th, 2016 9:23am
This is something that can be tough and rough on the person. You have to want to not do the self harm to get through the time you are alone. One thing that has helped me stay on track is having a list of 20 or more coping mechanisms written down and easily found. Instead of going for your self harm tool kit of sorts that you may have hidden or objects used to harm yourself, I go for things that can help. I eat a snack, take a walk, play guitar, write in journal about my immediate feelings, I call someone I trust to help keep me safe, do something creative like color, craft, sew, or anything to keep both my hands and my mind occupied. coming here has also helped. when I need someone on 7cups to help keep me from doing the bad that I want to do to myself, I always find someone that can cheer me up and keep me going. You can too. Staying safe and staying away from the negative things is hard, but well worth it when you do it. Take care of yourself.
Keebler
September 21st, 2016 8:13pm
Find things that help show your meaning to yourself such as interactive mood lifting activities, speak with friends, find someone to vent to whom will listen, don't worry about the past, Always talk to someone and never feel emberrassed about being depressed or suicidal. People go through it and you can be helped and you DO matter!!! Refer as well to the national suicide and prevention hotline, seek a therapist and don't be ashamed for doing so. Speak Up and Speak Out
Anonymous
September 28th, 2016 7:12pm
Dealing with self-harm alone? I don't think it's possible but maybe it is. I know when I was going through I NEEDED help but I never asked for it. Instead I let the help come to me. Even at the moment it didn't really seem like much help it really was.
MachineGKyla
October 5th, 2016 4:48pm
You shouldn't have to deal with it alone. You need to tell someone. It will get better, I promise you that
onedirection1213
October 6th, 2016 6:04pm
you should Make sure you keep all your wounds clean, see how long you can go without doing it, try to get into therapy, and do your best to not be ashamed of it. There is no shame in your struggle.