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How to deal with self-harm alone?

230 Answers
Last Updated: 03/27/2021 at 6:18am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Deane Rain Marie, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I take a holistic approach in working with eating disorders, mood disorders, relationships, and the LGBTQ community. I use EMDR, Dreamwork, Stories, CBT and Cinema therapy.

Top Rated Answers
September 21st, 2016 8:13pm
Find things that help show your meaning to yourself such as interactive mood lifting activities, speak with friends, find someone to vent to whom will listen, don't worry about the past, Always talk to someone and never feel emberrassed about being depressed or suicidal. People go through it and you can be helped and you DO matter!!! Refer as well to the national suicide and prevention hotline, seek a therapist and don't be ashamed for doing so. Speak Up and Speak Out
September 28th, 2016 7:12pm
Dealing with self-harm alone? I don't think it's possible but maybe it is. I know when I was going through I NEEDED help but I never asked for it. Instead I let the help come to me. Even at the moment it didn't really seem like much help it really was.
October 5th, 2016 4:48pm
You shouldn't have to deal with it alone. You need to tell someone. It will get better, I promise you that
October 6th, 2016 6:04pm
you should Make sure you keep all your wounds clean, see how long you can go without doing it, try to get into therapy, and do your best to not be ashamed of it. There is no shame in your struggle.
October 8th, 2016 6:28am
Well start with throwing away what ever you are harming yourself with. You cannot have that influence, a good way to cope is hold and ice cube in your hand. It hurts but is much less harmful to your body.
October 10th, 2016 1:55am
Try to resist the urges to do it. Throw away the blades but keep bluntish necessary ones. If you have made a cut then clean it and cover it with plaster/bandage to stop infection. Try talking to a doctor if you cant talk to anyone else, but try to keep yourself busy to stop the urges.
October 22nd, 2016 6:47am
It's hard to deal with self-harm alone without first understanding what self-harm is clinically and understanding what self-harm is to you. Why do you self-harm? And why under that reason? And why under that reason's reason? Deep questions. Love yourself along the way. Pause and think. What can you do about those underlying reasons to change one-day the reasons that cause you to self-harm? Can you change something about your environment, your social interactions, your self-esteem or mindfulness? If not now, is there a time eventually where it is possible - in which case, what healthy distractions can you treat yourself to until then? It's okay to have this conversation with a close friend, parent, or therapist. There's no shame in seeking help. Asking here is an amazing first step. There may be free group meetups for like-minded people in your area as well.
October 24th, 2016 2:07pm
Instead of self harming, you should take a pen and just draw on wherever you an to self harm. You can either scribble, or draw lines or draw actual designs.
October 26th, 2016 1:44pm
It's difficult to deal with it by yourself. Talking about it to someone you trust can be a good start. You can also try some alternatives to self harm.
October 26th, 2016 7:18pm
First off ditch the blades, lighter, ect. Secondly find another way to cope whether through art music exercise ect. Third know if you slip up its ok. Honestly you have to weave yourself off. When you have the urge use the Rubberband trick or hold Ice
November 3rd, 2016 2:51am
Find an activity to keep your hands and mind busy, such as drawing, painting, sculpting, finger-painting, or any other art forms you can think of.
November 3rd, 2016 8:17pm
I always look for something i can distract myself with wether it be a tv show or a movie. or sometimes i play music to get my mind off of it.
November 6th, 2016 5:25am
Try being positive understand that harming yourself makes things even worse read motivational books watch videos try talking to someone when you feel like harming yourself
November 9th, 2016 3:19pm
You can try to do... contemplation. Self harm just gives you temporary feeling of joy and excitement but it's bad afterwards. Besides, it doesn't solve a thing ❤ you can start with loving yourself and make sure your own self that you dont deserve to have those scars on your skin :)
November 21st, 2016 12:02am
Know that whatever it is that is troubling you can be resolved. It may not seem like it and I know that this sounds cheesy but just think of your problem as rain.. it starts and it may stay a while but the rain always stops
December 2nd, 2016 10:33pm
Remind yourself that you are worth so much. You do not need to inflict harm upon yourself, as you are a fantastic human being, and you are more than your situation. You have a purpose and there is more to life than pain.
December 16th, 2016 12:20am
When you are alone it is important to help yourself find a way to cope. Find a safe place and do something that makes you feel calm, like taking a warm shower or listening to happy music. If you don't think you can find a coping skill yourself then always call a support person.
January 22nd, 2017 1:17pm
The most important thing is to BE PRESENT IN THIS MOMENT. If your thoughts wander to regrets from the past, or worry about the future, don't judge yourself and simply BE in the present moment again. Working on maintaining compassion for yourself can keep you stable until you can get help. Ultimately, when you can, you MUST reach out to someone, from writing a letter that will never be sent, all the way to dialing 911. You are NOT alone, and this moment is yours to live, one minute at a time if you have to.
January 28th, 2017 2:02am
If you are feeling the urge to self-harm, consider going somewhere to be around people. This could be as simple as going into the living room to be with your family or roommates. You can also (if you're alone in your house or are unable to leave) call someone to talk with. This could be a family member, trusted friend, or a hotline
January 31st, 2017 2:05am
Remember that you are strong. You are strong. And if you set a goal, you can manage to stop harming yourself. You can do it. I believe in you. Just starts with small goals of not self harming for a certain amount of time, then with every new goal you set, make the amount of ime bigger. You can heal and get stronger by yourself. Because you can do this. And if it's too difficult start small as well. Start writting down your feelings instead of discharging on yourself. Write on the paper the first thing that get to your mind and don't worry, there's no wrong word of saying it. Or you can talk with someone here on 7cups, but if you want to do thid alone, it's okay. You can do it in both ways. Wish you the best of lucks! But remember that you dont have to do this alone :)
February 1st, 2017 4:44pm
It's best to find a medium that allows you to express yourself. If you feel like harming yourself, take deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose and out your mouth. Listen to music or write about your feelings on a piece of paper then rip it up. These are merely suggestions on how you can cope with self harm, especially when you want to harm yourself, but perhaps they'll become habit and you'll have found a healthy way to cope with your emotions.
February 15th, 2017 4:23am
Distract your urges of harming yourself. Put a sweater on, un tie then re tie your shoe. There are many things you can do. Experiment with distracting your self and see what works best for you
February 22nd, 2017 4:05am
I do not recommend dealing with it alone. I recommend talking to someone you trust. If you can't think of anyone you trust or just have a hard time opening up with people, I would make a list of why you self-harm. Every time you have the urge, think of the reason. Are you lonely? Did something bad happen? Once you figure out the reason, put your time and energy towards coming up with solutions to the issue and not hurting yourself. If you still have the urge after doing that or cannot find a reason why, than I recommend either snapping a rubber band on your wrist or taking a cold shower (if you have time and are in a place where you can do so). Best of luck with overcoming this.
February 25th, 2017 5:47pm
Try to surround yourself with resources and distractions and learn mindfulness and coping mechanisms. Remember that the listeners at 7 cups are always here for you if you need a more healthy way of venting your emotions.
February 25th, 2017 6:02pm
Don't feel guilty or be angry at yourself when it happens. Try and speak to people close to you. Talk to other self-harms for support.
March 3rd, 2017 10:22pm
I don't recommend dealing with it alone but first get rid of whatever you use to self-harm, then surround yourself with people or go somewhere where you can't self harm, Finally,get distracted by doing things you love.
March 12th, 2017 2:38am
I wouldn't suggest trying to cope with it alone, and I say that from experience. Support is one of the best things out there for trying to cope with self harm. Whether it's a therapist, support group, crisis chat, 7 Cups, it's best to have someone to talk to about it. It's hard at first to trust, but Soooo awesome when you can just spill out whatever you want to say.
March 15th, 2017 2:37pm
You don't. No one should go through self-harm at all, let alone self-harm alone. Reach out to people, communicate and get your voice heard because you matter and your recovery story will be so helpful to others dealing with what you once dealt with.
March 31st, 2017 3:51am
There are many online resources for help out there. There is a self harm self help guide on this site. If you look up Kati Morton on YouTube, she has many videos on self harm and tips to help yourself. Her website also has a free downloadable workbook that many have found helpful.
April 8th, 2017 7:05pm
You should never have to deal with self-harm alone; there is always someone out there in a similar position as you and there are so many of us on 7cups for the same reason; to guide people through the correct path and to give them that extra boost to overcome their problems. Don't feel like you have to deal with self-harm alone; because we're all here for you :)