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How to deal with self-harm alone?

217 Answers
Last Updated: 07/11/2020 at 10:56pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Deane Rain Marie, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I take a holistic approach in working with eating disorders, mood disorders, relationships, and the LGBTQ community. I use EMDR, Dreamwork, Stories, CBT and Cinema therapy.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
October 8th, 2016 6:28am
Well start with throwing away what ever you are harming yourself with. You cannot have that influence, a good way to cope is hold and ice cube in your hand. It hurts but is much less harmful to your body.
Anonymous
October 10th, 2016 1:55am
Try to resist the urges to do it. Throw away the blades but keep bluntish necessary ones. If you have made a cut then clean it and cover it with plaster/bandage to stop infection. Try talking to a doctor if you cant talk to anyone else, but try to keep yourself busy to stop the urges.
Anonymous
October 22nd, 2016 6:47am
It's hard to deal with self-harm alone without first understanding what self-harm is clinically and understanding what self-harm is to you. Why do you self-harm? And why under that reason? And why under that reason's reason? Deep questions. Love yourself along the way. Pause and think. What can you do about those underlying reasons to change one-day the reasons that cause you to self-harm? Can you change something about your environment, your social interactions, your self-esteem or mindfulness? If not now, is there a time eventually where it is possible - in which case, what healthy distractions can you treat yourself to until then? It's okay to have this conversation with a close friend, parent, or therapist. There's no shame in seeking help. Asking here is an amazing first step. There may be free group meetups for like-minded people in your area as well.
alexluke
October 24th, 2016 2:07pm
Instead of self harming, you should take a pen and just draw on wherever you an to self harm. You can either scribble, or draw lines or draw actual designs.
ImaginaryPainting
October 26th, 2016 1:44pm
It's difficult to deal with it by yourself. Talking about it to someone you trust can be a good start. You can also try some alternatives to self harm.
Anonymous
October 26th, 2016 7:18pm
First off ditch the blades, lighter, ect. Secondly find another way to cope whether through art music exercise ect. Third know if you slip up its ok. Honestly you have to weave yourself off. When you have the urge use the Rubberband trick or hold Ice
OctopusGarden
November 3rd, 2016 2:51am
Find an activity to keep your hands and mind busy, such as drawing, painting, sculpting, finger-painting, or any other art forms you can think of.
TinkerBe11a
November 3rd, 2016 8:17pm
I always look for something i can distract myself with wether it be a tv show or a movie. or sometimes i play music to get my mind off of it.
tranquilSoul93
November 6th, 2016 5:25am
Try being positive understand that harming yourself makes things even worse read motivational books watch videos try talking to someone when you feel like harming yourself
sweetnutella
November 9th, 2016 3:19pm
You can try to do... contemplation. Self harm just gives you temporary feeling of joy and excitement but it's bad afterwards. Besides, it doesn't solve a thing ❤ you can start with loving yourself and make sure your own self that you dont deserve to have those scars on your skin :)
Mickey24
November 21st, 2016 12:02am
Know that whatever it is that is troubling you can be resolved. It may not seem like it and I know that this sounds cheesy but just think of your problem as rain.. it starts and it may stay a while but the rain always stops
GracefulGuidance
December 2nd, 2016 10:33pm
Remind yourself that you are worth so much. You do not need to inflict harm upon yourself, as you are a fantastic human being, and you are more than your situation. You have a purpose and there is more to life than pain.
confidentPomegranate52
December 16th, 2016 12:20am
When you are alone it is important to help yourself find a way to cope. Find a safe place and do something that makes you feel calm, like taking a warm shower or listening to happy music. If you don't think you can find a coping skill yourself then always call a support person.
purpleRaven76
January 22nd, 2017 1:17pm
The most important thing is to BE PRESENT IN THIS MOMENT. If your thoughts wander to regrets from the past, or worry about the future, don't judge yourself and simply BE in the present moment again. Working on maintaining compassion for yourself can keep you stable until you can get help. Ultimately, when you can, you MUST reach out to someone, from writing a letter that will never be sent, all the way to dialing 911. You are NOT alone, and this moment is yours to live, one minute at a time if you have to.
Maude221
January 28th, 2017 2:02am
If you are feeling the urge to self-harm, consider going somewhere to be around people. This could be as simple as going into the living room to be with your family or roommates. You can also (if you're alone in your house or are unable to leave) call someone to talk with. This could be a family member, trusted friend, or a hotline
Anonymous
January 31st, 2017 2:05am
Remember that you are strong. You are strong. And if you set a goal, you can manage to stop harming yourself. You can do it. I believe in you. Just starts with small goals of not self harming for a certain amount of time, then with every new goal you set, make the amount of ime bigger. You can heal and get stronger by yourself. Because you can do this. And if it's too difficult start small as well. Start writting down your feelings instead of discharging on yourself. Write on the paper the first thing that get to your mind and don't worry, there's no wrong word of saying it. Or you can talk with someone here on 7cups, but if you want to do thid alone, it's okay. You can do it in both ways. Wish you the best of lucks! But remember that you dont have to do this alone :)
AllTheDewdrops
February 1st, 2017 4:44pm
It's best to find a medium that allows you to express yourself. If you feel like harming yourself, take deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose and out your mouth. Listen to music or write about your feelings on a piece of paper then rip it up. These are merely suggestions on how you can cope with self harm, especially when you want to harm yourself, but perhaps they'll become habit and you'll have found a healthy way to cope with your emotions.
Anonymous
February 15th, 2017 4:23am
Distract your urges of harming yourself. Put a sweater on, un tie then re tie your shoe. There are many things you can do. Experiment with distracting your self and see what works best for you
AnimalLover90
February 22nd, 2017 4:05am
I do not recommend dealing with it alone. I recommend talking to someone you trust. If you can't think of anyone you trust or just have a hard time opening up with people, I would make a list of why you self-harm. Every time you have the urge, think of the reason. Are you lonely? Did something bad happen? Once you figure out the reason, put your time and energy towards coming up with solutions to the issue and not hurting yourself. If you still have the urge after doing that or cannot find a reason why, than I recommend either snapping a rubber band on your wrist or taking a cold shower (if you have time and are in a place where you can do so). Best of luck with overcoming this.
strongforce
February 25th, 2017 5:47pm
Try to surround yourself with resources and distractions and learn mindfulness and coping mechanisms. Remember that the listeners at 7 cups are always here for you if you need a more healthy way of venting your emotions.
Tappingtoes123
February 25th, 2017 6:02pm
Don't feel guilty or be angry at yourself when it happens. Try and speak to people close to you. Talk to other self-harms for support.
friendlyIceCream16
March 3rd, 2017 10:22pm
I don't recommend dealing with it alone but first get rid of whatever you use to self-harm, then surround yourself with people or go somewhere where you can't self harm, Finally,get distracted by doing things you love.
Akor1
March 12th, 2017 2:38am
I wouldn't suggest trying to cope with it alone, and I say that from experience. Support is one of the best things out there for trying to cope with self harm. Whether it's a therapist, support group, crisis chat, 7 Cups, it's best to have someone to talk to about it. It's hard at first to trust, but Soooo awesome when you can just spill out whatever you want to say.
avamadueno22
March 15th, 2017 2:37pm
You don't. No one should go through self-harm at all, let alone self-harm alone. Reach out to people, communicate and get your voice heard because you matter and your recovery story will be so helpful to others dealing with what you once dealt with.
hopefulPower94
March 31st, 2017 3:51am
There are many online resources for help out there. There is a self harm self help guide on this site. If you look up Kati Morton on YouTube, she has many videos on self harm and tips to help yourself. Her website katimorton.com also has a free downloadable workbook that many have found helpful.
TommyGibson27
April 8th, 2017 7:05pm
You should never have to deal with self-harm alone; there is always someone out there in a similar position as you and there are so many of us on 7cups for the same reason; to guide people through the correct path and to give them that extra boost to overcome their problems. Don't feel like you have to deal with self-harm alone; because we're all here for you :)
RoseBlossomed
April 13th, 2017 3:33pm
Remember that you are worth more than whatever outside or internal pain you are dealing with. Hurting yourself only hurts you further, and punishes yourself, which you do not deserve to do. Using coping methods like art, stim/fidget toys, and self soothing videos can help you distract yourself when urges happen.
Zozo28
April 20th, 2017 1:19pm
I have self-harmed before and i can tell you its not easy to stop but it is manageable something you can do when you feel the need to is snap a hairtir on your wrist because it doesnt leave cars or marks but still gives you the pain and release factor
HannahsFox
April 26th, 2017 1:39am
You will never fight a battle alone, there will always be people to help you fight it, know that you are better than it, that you don't need it. It is damaging not only to your own state, but to others around you as well. Consider your friends, your family, would they really want you to hurt yourself? If you think you are alone, know you are not. Don't be afraid to contact a therapist, they are not there to judge you for anything. They are there to help you!
TaranWanderer
April 26th, 2017 6:46pm
Make a strict safety plan for yourself when you feel like you want to self-harm. There are a lot of alternatives to help you step away from self harm and move towards healthier coping methods. Examples would be: slapping an elastic band on your arm/hand, writing on yourself with a pen, holding ice in your hand, clapping your hands together hard. You can try to reach out to people and talk about something completely unrelated, so you're distracting yourself from the urges without having to tell the person that that's what you're doing. Go for a walk in a public place. Don't be too hard on yourself, just try your best!