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How to deal with self-harm alone?

225 Answers
Last Updated: 11/22/2020 at 10:29pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Deane Rain Marie, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I take a holistic approach in working with eating disorders, mood disorders, relationships, and the LGBTQ community. I use EMDR, Dreamwork, Stories, CBT and Cinema therapy.

Top Rated Answers
June 22nd, 2018 11:41pm
In my own experience, I found that writing all my anger and frustration down on paper when I got the urge to self harm. Even if you’re writing down the worst things imaginable, at least you are not harming your body
June 23rd, 2018 8:15am
Meet people and experience new things and tell yourself that you'd do it tomorrow..It helps trust me..Do something you don't regret and enjoy yourself..If you enjoy yourself..the thought wouldn't come
June 28th, 2018 6:52am
I always tend to use my coping skills or talk to a trusted friend or family member. If that doesn't work, I usually call my mentor or my therapist.
June 28th, 2018 7:08am
read, eat, hangout with people, do what you love, put your blades where you cant easily get to them, give your blades to someone wholl take them, cry, pick yourself up, move one, write, get help, talk to someone, try. just try.
June 28th, 2018 1:40pm
You are not alone! We are here for you, you don't have to be alone! There is a lot of self-harm coping techniques that you can do. There's a self-help guide here in 7Cups too! You can always try it out!
June 29th, 2018 7:56am
Try meditating, go on walks, listen some soothing music, pamper yourself, go on movies alone, take a solo trip.
July 5th, 2018 11:36am
Always use positive self talk. Remember what you manifest becomes your reality. For example, if you tell yourself everyday: Today I am going to distract myself to avoid self-harming. The more you say it, the more you think it and then it becomes your reality.
July 6th, 2018 2:39pm
For one you would have to stop and that is the hardest part for many. There is some things that can help you stop, like the butterfly project. So you would draw a butterfly on the body part that you harm the most you want to try to keep it alive so you can’t harm in or around it. And try talking to people who you trust about what your going through. Or a complete stranger, just get things off your chest it helps instead of dealing with the thoughts alone, try saying them out loud to someone let them know what’s going on inside your head.
July 7th, 2018 7:52am
Dealing with self-harm is a difficult task. It should never be done alone. However, if you are unable to talk to someone about it right away, there are a couple things you can do. You can find something that can distract you to not think about whatever is making you feel the need to self-harm. That may be watching your favourite TV Show or writing down your thoughts. In the long run though, you should talk to your parents about your self-harm, talk to a crisis hotline or see a doctor or counselor.
July 8th, 2018 6:15pm
When you feel like harming yourself, I recommend you draw on the area you want to hurt. Also, try some self care activities.
July 12th, 2018 12:26pm
Try to think about happy things that will help you overcome this self harm. It will help you and make you feel the need to do it less
July 21st, 2018 2:37pm
I wouldn't recommend dealing with this alone, honestly. If you have the feeling that no one would understand or accept it in case you didn't tell anyone, talk to your doctor about it and he'll give you advise on how to deal with it without anyone knowing about it. You can distract yourself in the meantime with drinking fresh ginger tea, snapping a wristband, putting marbles in your shoes and walk around or any other coping method :)
July 22nd, 2018 11:00pm
That is a very hard question to answer for, i won't lie, dealing with this on your own isn't easy. I had to do it though so it's far from being impossible, i'd say what has kept me from doing it again was mostly my little sister and the little cousins that kept arriving... so yeah what i'm about to say may be controversial but what i did was guilt-tripping myself, thinking about how my actions would affect those little beings i love, and eventually it worked. Caution though, it took time, efforts and i relapsed more than once but now i've been clear for more than two years and i don't plan on falling back down. However, i wouldn't recommend my trick to anyone. Good luck though and remember you don't have to deal with it alone. we are here for you
July 26th, 2018 10:57am
Truthfully? You don’t! There’s always a safe place here at 7 Cups waiting for you, we’d love to talk to you and help you with your self-harm- please don’t feel like you have to face anything alone!
July 28th, 2018 2:58am
I have found from personal experience that it is much easier to deal with self-harm if you find other coping mechanisms such as drawing, listening to music, writing, talking to others, etc.
August 2nd, 2018 5:26am
Think about different things. Think about the people who will miss and love you dearly. Also think about the goals you have .
August 5th, 2018 8:15pm
Find healthy alternatives such as a distraction, it can be something as simple as listening to music or playing sport. However if dealing with self harm alone feels too overwhelming then you can contact a listener here and talk to them.
August 8th, 2018 1:35pm
know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE ! i know it sound cheesy but we are all here to help you ! :) think about all the time that you didn't self harm and you felt proud of yourself .. if you don't do it you can feel even more proud ! and we will all be proud to !! you can do it sweety, keep on going and don't ever give up
August 9th, 2018 3:45am
Self harm is always a bad option and wanting to become better is a great choice. It’s always difficult to do, but here are some things that might help. If you have anyone to talk to then talk to them. Even on here, there are so many of us willing to talk to you and help you through your troubles. Go on walks. Walks can help clear your mind. You can listen to music to calm yourself and your thoughts down. Writing things down, all your thoughts and feelings, may also help. Considering therapy and professional help is also a great choice.
August 9th, 2018 1:28pm
Find someone whom you trust to talk to. It can be anyone, a friend, family member, pastor. Get educated about your problems, find a community, best case scenarios would be one in reality and online, and praying helps, sometimes.
August 12th, 2018 12:15pm
Repeat over and over again: “I am strong, I don’t need to hurt myself because others are hurting me. I can get through this”.
August 12th, 2018 4:55pm
Make sure you know how to look after your scars so they don't become infected. YOU can keep it all a secret that you're cutting like i did but it is much harder to cope with if you're dealing with it on your own. i advise each time you self-harm that you go to the bathroom and clean up the blood and make sure they are clean.
August 12th, 2018 7:55pm
Re thing if held harming is really helping you with your situation, and think to yourself for how long does it truly help you?
September 13th, 2018 6:11am
Reach out for help and remember that I am worthy of life and that I will do great things in life and just breathe and try to calm down and remember that I am loved and cared for by people around me and that if I need help there is always someone there to listen when I need it and that my life is a precious thing and I’m grateful to be living it I have to keep the good things in life always in my head and always remember that it will always get better for me and everyone else
October 18th, 2018 1:10am
How you can deal with self harm, alone is simply taking it in small increments. Such as using an ice cube where you would usually harm yourself, until you feel the need that you don't have to. Another thing that you can do is draw a butterfly where you want to harm yourself, imagine that as one of your loved ones, whenever you hurt that butterfly, you're hurting your loved one. You have to think about the people that you love and the people that care about. With this process, you'll slowly train yourself to not need to harm anymore.
November 7th, 2018 7:17am
Dealing with self-harm alone can be a lonely experience because of the stigma associated with it. If you are trying to stop the behavior, in my experience, it was useful to have supporters on your side. These are people that will help hold you accountable without judging you if you relapse. If you are not ready to stop, you may start employing some different coping mechanisms to lessen the risks associated with self-harming. Try to determine what role the behavior is playing for you, and identify alternative options for coping with that problem. You don't have to do it alone.
January 10th, 2019 9:39am
I tend to listen to music and funnel energy into working out rather than self harm. Even some of the saddest music I find is relatable and let's me release any pent up emotions by crying. Being secluded for 2 weeks at a time can really test you mentally when you're having a bad day and I find even talking to a stranger is enough to remind you that you can connect with someone in your darkest of hours when seeking help. I try everything to avoid self harm as I have been there myself, countless times. There is no shame in asking for help, everyone is human and everyone falls down sometimes.
January 12th, 2019 4:15am
Hey man, just know that you are stronger than you think. There was a time in my life when I just didn't feel like living and so I turned to other things like self-harm because I just couldn't manage to tell anyone. I know everyone is saying to get with someone, but trust me, you are strong, you are beautiful, you are more than you could ever imagine and so you can get through this! Think about your own life and things that you truly care about, even if it's something that you think is stupid. Cherish those things and build on them. I struggled with self-image mostly and so I did all I could do to try to become better but I simply couldn't. There was one thing I loved though which was basketball and so I went to the court when nobody else was there and shot hoops. Soon enough I realized that I was actually starting to enjoy myself and this led to me instead of cutting myself, to playing basketball whenever I felt the urge to do something harmful. Through this, I created a way to not harm myself, but instead get my stress out through other things. Stay strong, you're a champion!
January 20th, 2019 11:27pm
Try writing or talking to one of the listeners on here if you need a distraction I always found going on a walk listening to music helped me, please though try and seek professional help. I also found an app called 'headspace' is extremely helpful and can distract you and calm you down. I always found self-harm to be a distraction from your thoughts so trying to find something else to do when you get the thoughts helps even if its crying in the shower for 2 hours but please try to speak to one of us or a professional
January 26th, 2019 8:28am
I tried to deal with self harm alone, in the midst of my hardest times I needed help. But now I can manage my self harm urges alone through the tools I learn in counselling. I know that sensory things are great, hand creams, incense, fairy lights, music, etc In fact I have a Battle the Storm playlist for when I feel like self harming. Writing about it, journaling or poetry helps me sort out what I am feeling. Then taking some medication to calm me down, sleeping and sometimes just putting it off again and again help at my worst. When I know that I am really about to do it I try not let myself have the time. For me I do it before I have time to think, so I start spending time getting busy. This is what works for me so far #almostayearselfharmfree