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I harm myself on purpose. I never do it because I need to cope, I do it because I like the pain and like to have something on my body. I know I should stop, but I don't want to. Why is that?

163 Answers
Last Updated: 03/31/2022 at 10:20pm
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I am empathetic with my Clients going through emotional overwhelm and passionate in helping them. I am supportive, openminded & interactive in helping my clients.

Top Rated Answers
Theserainydays
November 5th, 2016 5:53am
There's actually a biological/hormonal reason for this. When you experience pain, your body releases endorphins that make you feel good and lessen the hurt/fear/stress that comes with the pain. You can also trigger an endorphin rush through exercise or laughter or riding a rollercoaster--things that make you feel satisfied or excited. But sometimes it seems like self-harm is an easy shortcut to that happy feeling. The problem is that self-harm can be addictive, and it can escalate. And instead of learning healthy coping mechanisms, you come to rely on this shortcut to feel good. It's like a drug addiction, in a way.
Bluewolf1229
January 25th, 2017 4:51pm
I get Tattoos when i feel like i want to self harm. yes im pretty much covered but i wont cut artwork.. This has helped me alot to stop self harming.
RaCat
September 10th, 2016 11:35pm
It seems that you are having self harm addiction based on pain. Some people just get addicted to hurting themselves as it makes them feel like they have fully control in them life but it's really important to remember that there is a way better things to do than to hurt yourself. Hurting yourself don't lead you anywhere it just leaves the scars on your body. Maybe you feel like you like them now but it would make you feel bad afterwards in your life.
Anonymous
August 7th, 2016 3:45pm
It's because self harm is an addiction like any other. It takes a lot of self control to stop and maybe you're not ready yet.
Anonymous
February 7th, 2018 10:50pm
A lot of people feel the same way! If you just want the pain then here's my advice: Run. Run as hard as you can, as fast as you can, for as long as you can. That will give you the pain without it being unhealthy. And since you want something on your body? Either get a tattoo or draw with pens on your skin. Those are just a few things that help me.
Anonymous
August 14th, 2016 9:02pm
You don't want to stop because it's an addiction and you've been doing it for so long that you have a routine when you feel a certain emotion then you will want to self harm.
cheerfulFireworks43
August 6th, 2016 12:09pm
You don't want to stop because has become a habit. I suggest you get help from a licensed therapist
freshFriend18
August 3rd, 2016 1:46pm
we can get as addicted to pain as we can to pleasure. We get comfortable, this is human nature whether it is bad or good for us we get use to our environment
Anonymous
October 4th, 2016 11:06pm
I can't tell you for 100% sure but is it possible you just feel like you've gotten use to doing it almost as if it's become a habit? What I can suggest about the idea of liking to have something on your body is maybe just drawing. It would be less harmful. As for liking pain, perhaps squeeze a few ice cubes in your hand?
MishyFishy13
August 19th, 2016 11:49pm
If you self-harm, even if there isn't a specific reason for it, it slowly becomes an addiction. This is mostly because, for some, the pain can have a rewarding effect on the brain, which makes you want to do it more and, you don't want to stop.
Anonymous
August 21st, 2016 10:37am
Because you don't think you have better options. But you do. There's always a better option than hurting yourself.
Anonymous
July 13th, 2018 10:01pm
The reason that you don't feel like stopping is because self-harm is an alternative coping method. Your mind sees the self-harm as something positive since it's giving a temporary release of all of your thoughts which makes you feel better. Self harm also releases endorphins in the brain just like any other time you feel pain. These hormones are natural opiates and work to ease the pain and makes you feel better - this is usually what gets people addicted and not able to stop.
spectacularmemory
July 11th, 2019 2:08pm
I think you have a Low self esteem and are taking out your anger on yourself by hurting yourself. You should definitely consider consulting a professional Therapist. I completely understand what you’re going through because I have been through something very similar. Please do try to talk about it personally to someone. Trust me, it helps and is necessary for a recovery. You will get better, really. You just need to reach out to someone and realise that you’re not alone in this. We’re all here to help you and care for you. It’s amazing that you’re sharing your issue here !
Marvelousky19
March 1st, 2017 1:17pm
This is called addiction. You start doing something repeatedly because you enjoy it. Like drinking or smoking. And it is very difficult to get rid of such situations. You cannot stop even if you want to because you like doing it and you know no such method which can help you prevent this. You can put your agression and pain into other too then your body. Try scatching or drawing on a paper hard or writing your feelings out and then destroying it afterwards. Also try to calm yourself by meditating. You need to stop hurting your body. It will get you nowhere
KaelaMi16
July 26th, 2018 10:58am
Maybe because the pain from harming yourself is blocking pain from other events or situations. It helps you feel that nothing can make you feel pain other than harming yourself.
yancore
October 23rd, 2019 6:18pm
Theres a variety of reasons people wouldn't want to stop self-injury. It could be it's calming, or it helps them feel something other than dread. A main reason however is they feel that, in a way, the object used understands them better than anyone else. It helps them and encourages them to keep them going on. Of course, this may not be your intent, but it's just a small list of reasons. Self-injury is a tough thing to grasp when it comes down to the enjoying pain factor. A reason we DO have however is dopamine is released during a burn, cut, or bruise formed, which can make self-injury an addiction just like heroin or cocaine.
Autumnbreeze04
April 19th, 2020 7:29pm
I totally understand this, I have went through the same thing. I knew I should stop, but I didnt want to because I also liked the pain and having marks on my body. It might be because you could feel like you are alive, like, you are here and exist. Stopping something like that takes focus, motivation, perseverance and a strong mind. I know how hard it can be and I know that it is nice to feel the pain. Not everybody needs to hear that things will be okay, some people just need someone to talk to them and listen instead of giving advice and telling them to stop. No matter which one you need, I understand and I would want to help.
Bobofromnl
December 29th, 2019 11:17am
There a lots of different reasons why someone might self harm. Some do it too cope, so because they feel they deserve to be in pain and some because they enjoy the pain. Often the pain we create by self harming causes our body to release endorphins, these feel really good and can often feel like taking a drug. Obviously self harming is never a good thing and you should always try to stop. These endorphins might be the only way a person can still feel happy or pleasure and this makes it really hard to stop. Talk to a professional for coping strategies or try to find some healthier alternatives like eating something spicy or the rubber band method. Sometime eating something like chocolate which also releases endorphins in your body can also really help as stupid as it sounds. Just no that although you should try and stop self harming you are not broken or defective as a person. Your just dealing with something in an unhealthy way and there are loads of people who can help you with that!
ElliotAnxiety17
January 23rd, 2020 12:49am
The fact that you like the pain probably means you are a masochist, someone who likes when pain is inflicted on themselves. If you are a masochist, and like to feel pain, it probably isn't too bad if it makes you happy. However, if you ever feel the urge to try something drastic, you should make sure to tell someone, because that's very dangerous. If you really do feel the need to hurt yourself, try to keep it small. As for why you don't want to stop, you probably just feel good when you feel the pain. It's hard to stop doing something you like, just like any other thing. If this becomes a problem, and you do feel the need to stop, then you should try and seek professional help.
HopieRemi
July 28th, 2021 4:32pm
I think you answered this for yourself. You like this pain so why would you even consider stopping for a second, right? You say you do not do it to cope and I wonder if pain is the only thing you have allowed yourself to feel up to this point. Are you trying to see how much pain you can take until your body gives up? It could also be you just simply put enjoy pain but if it is not because you get a thrill from the pain, otherwise there might be better methods to these things. Try bungejumping or getting tattoos. Tattoos are a bit more accepted than say scars.
Anonymous
January 25th, 2020 3:07pm
Sometimes people self harm not to cope with everything but as an outlet. They do it because it is satisfying and makes them feel better. Sometimes the pain that you feel while doing the self harm feels better than the pain that you feel inside your head or the pain you feel in your chest. People self harm to feel the pain on the body instead of Inside the body. It takes your mind away from the pain your feeling mentally so your brain focuses on the pain you feel on the outside distracting you. This could make you feel better in the moment yes but is not the right way to go about it. It can cause sever harm to the body. trying another outlet to release the pain may be a better idea.
SquishyRaspberries
July 28th, 2016 4:19am
Some people have an attraction or fascination with pain and marking one's body. This is often seen with people who get tattoos and piercings (not saying you have to like pain to get those, of course). Obviously it's not healthy to be harming yourself and you should seek help about that or attempt to replace it with safer substitute behaviors.
VenusCastle
September 9th, 2018 4:49pm
When we end up giving in to self-harm, sometimes it becomes a subconscious habit. It buries itself in our brains and becomes our preferred method of coping. And if we let it gain too much power over us, it may become an addiction. Addictions are very difficult to give up. But not impossible. You reached out, which means you care about getting better. You obviously care enough to want to do something. That's your first step. It's okay to talk about it. It's okay that you reached out. And most importantly, you will be okay. If you need someone to talk to about it, I'm here. I want to help you through it, and I can refer you to good coping methods for that issue specifically.
SophLovesPotatoes01
August 4th, 2019 4:37am
It is likely that you're experiencing an addiction to the pain. Self harm can often cause the release of endorphins, a chemical the helps with stress. The important thing in stopping self harm is to identify what triggers this behaviour, and then to find alternatives. There are many other activities that may cause positive pain, eg. exercise. It is important to find something healthy that you can undertake instead of self harm. Doing this may mean trying a variety of activities that may not work at first and that's totally okay. Have fun with it and take it as an opportunity to try new things!
Keith
February 13th, 2020 7:25pm
When we cause ourselves harm we can control it. It is often a way to take control, because we can not control the world around us. It is also a way to distract from emotional pain, because physical pain is often easier for us to handle than emotional pain. Another reason may be subconscious or unconscious guilt, shame, or anger. Inflicting pain on one's self is a way of punishing for perceived wrongdoing. Some claim it is because of masochism, which is purposeful infliction of pain due to a pleasurable response. But this is more complicated than a simple pain and pleasure relationship. We are wired to avoid pain, so the enjoyment of pain is not simply that, there are underlying drives at play.
naturalHoney13
August 16th, 2019 10:09pm
If you were to meet with a lot of people in my family or circle, you'd see that many of us have multiple tattoos. And its just that! Tattoos can be addictive in some ways. So I think for someone to enjoy that kind of pain, maybe you can channel it into a healthier outlet like tattoos. Otherwise I've noticed that enjoying hurting ourselves can stem from actual self-hate and are trying to find some way to feel.. well anything.. intensely. If that is the case with you, I'd recommend talking to one of the therapists here at 7 cups about how to feel your genuine emotions again!
MissLisa
August 18th, 2019 6:21pm
I am not medically qualified to diagnose anyone and for that reason it would be best if you spoke to a health care professional. However it sounds like an obsessive compulsive disorder from the untrained eye. If you need to do something and cannot prevent yourself from doing so. Also liking the feeling of pain is worrying as to why you are doing this. There is always a reason behind self harm and it may be of benefit for you if you speak with a therapist to identify what your trigger was. If you know you should stop that is a good sign, maybe speak with your doctor about getting support.
Leonardo81
February 5th, 2020 5:17am
It could be related to some sort of trauma caused by any type of abuse, a sign of distress or a way to cope with difficult feelings in life. This issue has to be addressed as soon as possible or it might become a habit and also a risk factor for future suicide attempts. Some people self-harm themselves as a result of some sort of mental illness, but not all people have mental illness, in case they are accompanied by troubling thoughts or feelings it's important that the doctor knows about it, in other less severe cases talking about the problems affecting the patient with a listener is a good approach, writing, practicing relaxation exercises and even talking to friends also.
Epikura
October 16th, 2019 5:15pm
There are many reasons for people to self harm. However the dangers of self harm are pretty much the same despite the motive. You might not feel like stopping because it is giving you something that is very valuable to you at this specific point in your life. And also the dangers don’t feel quite real, when they haven’t happened yet. However keep in mind that what you are doing can cause more harm to you than you would imagine right now. The sense of control you might feel, isn’t as trustworthy as it may seem. As you find that you need to go further and further to get the same effects as you did in the beginning, the control will slip away. Starting to fight against self harm is not easy but it will certainly be worth it. There are many practical tips and alternatives that can help you overcome the urge to self harm. I wish you all the best.
Orion44
October 9th, 2019 2:56am
When someone cuts themselves, it causes the brain to release a chemical. This chemical is called dopamine. Dopamine gives you a "feel good" rush that you can also get from food, music, s*x and drugs. It is an addicting chemical, so in result of this you can get addicted to cutting. You can get yourself to stop, by slowly replacing your cutting with something else that releases this chemical (but not drugs. Don't do drugs, kids). Luckily, this means that you can quit if you try to put in the effort that you need to to kick this habit.