I want to wear t-shirts, but I don't want to talk about my scars? Some of them LOOK very recent, but aren't. What to do?
Last Updated: 06/01/2020 at 4:02pm
Jennifer Fritz, LMSW, PhD
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
Day to day life can be stressful and overwhelming and my strength is assisting my clients in a supportive, empowering and practical manner.
Top Rated Answers
Those are battle scars that prove you are a survivor. You should show them off proudly. When I first started wearing clothes that showed my scars in public, I used to tell people I rehabilitated fighting dogs (not a lie, but not where the scars came from). But in the end it all comes down to shame. And you should not be ashamed that you are a strong individual who had to deal with something difficult in your life and you SURVIVED IT. You should be proud. I am proud of you.
Have you ever considered or tried camouflage make up - the type that covers tattoos? There are various tutorials online although some may be triggering. Depending on type and severity of scars could you also wear jewellery? The scars are your battle wounds how you show them or cover them up has to be right for you.
Try accessorising! Bangles, wrist bands, ribbons, maybe even temporary tattoos. Anything is on the board, as long as it makes you happy to wear it. Remember though, your scars are nothing to be ashamed of and anyone who says otherwise is being unreasonable. They are evidence that you have gone through pain but healed and I am proud of you for having confidence to wear what you want with them. I understand that the questions can get uncomfortable, intrusive or annoying though and you may want to hide them just because they are an uncomfortable conversation topic. In that circumstance, another good method is to wear what you want and let them be out in the open; simply be straightforward with whoever asks. Tell them, "Hey, I'm not comfortable talking about that, sorry." And direct the conversation elsewhere. If they persist in asking, they're not exactly respecting your boundaries and the fault is theirs. Evaluate if that person should stick around if they won't respect your boundaries.
Some scars can be covered with make up. I chose to tattoo over mine and people see the tattoo more than the scars.
It is up to you whether you feel confortable with your scars there are a couple of options though. 1. You choose to wear a T-shirt yet attempt to hide them - for example you can use camouflage make up ( it's common for burns victims to use it ) or some people just use regular make up such as concealer. The other option is to use a scar reduction cream (such a bio oil but the effect of this is often limited with more obvious scars and can take some time to have any effect at all. 2.You can wear a T-shirt and have pre- prepared answers just in case people question. It is best not to outright lie but good answers if anyone asks can be 'They are from when I was ill, it's hard for me to talk about' most people will respect your wish not to take it further or ' I would rather not discuss it but thank you for your concern things are much better now' so reassure them then turn the conversation right on to them, because people love, in my experience to talk about themselves and when they get the message you do not wish to talk about it and they are not concerned their natural interest will dwindle.
Personally for me I always wear chunky bracelets on my wrists? Or even I drape a light cardigan over me so it's not noticeable
Try using either makeup of accessories like scarves to cover them up. I understand what you mean so I used these back when I did it.
I think that if you are comfortable with them that you should wear them because is nothing to be ashamed of. Obviously this is my personal opinion and if you dont want people to see then thats something each person needs to decide.
It is your choice to talk about them. If it is not something you are willing to discuss then perhaps just mention that to anyone who asks.
I personally think you shouldn't care too much what others think. If others talk about the recent looking ones, simply explain that they aren't. But it's your choice, and if you'd rather not, then wait until they fade some more.
You could try applying make-up on them if you don't feel comfortable. Plus, it is your choice if you want to talk about it
I've got some scars too and to be honest nobody ever asked me about them. And when someone asks you, you can just say you don't want to talk about it.
This really depends on how confident you are that people won't ask. However, if you are asked it is best to quickly try and change the topic if you don't feel comfortable talking about them or blaming it on something else such as getting a ball from a thorn bush
Wear whatever the heck you want! If anyone tries to ask you about those scars just tell them you don't want to talk about it and if they question it simply ignore them. It's not like you're showing them off. Wanting to wear t-shirts and such after overcoming something like that shows you're very strong. :)
If you don't want to talk about your scars you don't have to. I have the same problem I'm getting my scars covered up by a tattoo, if people bring it up just politely say you don't want to talk about it,but sometimes it is a good idea to talk to someone you can trust.
I have scars that are about two years old that still look very recent so I feel as though I can relate to this! Honestly, I’d wear whatever you want to wear and if people ask just simply tell them that you don’t want to discuss it and will maybe discuss when you’re ready. I’ve found that people actually normally mind their own business especially if you ignore the scars yourself and act confident - some people don’t even notice!
You could use some scar cream to help heal them sooner, it could take a few months. But for now, just get some cream and it should look better soon.
I usually say "I don't want to talk about my scars" if people ask about them. Usually works good. If they keep asking, I remind them it is really unpolite to ask such private questions.
If I were you I'm just going to say that I would go ahead and wear a t-shirt. To me, I think why would I care what other think? It might be different for you since everyone is different in their own way. If someone asked me what scars those were I would answer and say if they were self harm scars and give them the quit talking about it look. If they don't catch the hint, tell them straight out and that should shut them up. Like I said, I would feel comfortable doing that but you do what you feel comfortable doing, okay? Hope what I said helps though!
Related Questions: I want to wear t-shirts, but I don't want to talk about my scars? Some of them LOOK very recent, but aren't. What to do?
why does cutting make me feel better but then bad afterwards?I harm myself on purpose. I never do it because I need to cope, I do it because I like the pain and like to have something on my body. I know I should stop, but I don't want to. Why is that?Does cutting for only a few months and stopping make me any less of a self-harmer?How do I explain scars when a young child asks about them?What do I say to people that ask about my scars without making them uncomfortable?How to deal with self-harm alone?Why do some wounds turn purple?Is scratching yourself with a paper clip on purpose considered self harm when you don’t bleed?Whenever I bandage myself with rolled gauze I can never get it tight enough, so it always ends up slipping off. I want to be able to bandage myself properly. Any tips?If I don't have a bandage big enough to cover a cut what else can I use?