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I'm lonely at school, I have troubles with making friends. As soon as I get home i want to hurt myself to stop feeling lonely. I punch walls but now I want to cut myself. What should I do?

3 Answers
Last Updated: 10/12/2020 at 10:23pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Hannah Caradonna, MSW, RCSW (RCC #11330)

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I offer a warm and non-judgmental space for you to work through your problems. I can help you with anxiety, disordered eating, depression, relationship problems and more.

Top Rated Answers
September 17th, 2018 11:54am
Hi, It seems like you're going through difficult times right now, because you feel very lonely and don't have a solution to adress it without hurting yourself, right ? Well, first of all, hurting yourself can feel like a way of relieving some stress, anger etc, but clearly it's not a solution :/ When we hurt ourselves, we can also take great risks and kill ourselves by accident. So, that's not an option, right ? I guess that by wanting to hurt yourself, there are some thoughts that turn in your head, telling yourself that you deserve it, that no one can and will like you etc..? :/ Well, no one deserve sadness, loneliness etc. You're lovable, you're valuable, and chances are that you'll not stay in this situation forever. First, I'd say that coming hear to talk about it can be a first great step.. so is to find a therapist with whom you'll be able to talk it out and work on your troubles with making friends. Some people have more social difficulties than others, and maybe it's your case. Good news is that, well, you're alive, which means you can definitely learn :) Learn about social interactions, but also about your own way of functionning. An idea could also be to take care of yourself, and find a non-harmful way of expressing your feelings. Hurting oneself, by cutting, punching walls etc often means that you have things that wanna come out, but you don't know how except with self-directed violence. Non-harmfuls ways of doing so could be : - practicing sport (like martial arts, it seems like a great tension relief in the beginning but it teach one to find peace, serenity and non-violence^^, or running etc, something to exhaust you physically and use your energy in a positive way^^) - using an artistic media (like painting, drawing, writing, singing, acting etc) to express your feelings. - writing in a diary (lots of great tips to have a diary in the website of duffthepsych, a professional therapist that focus on depression and anxiety but talk a lot about mental health.) - considering meditation or yoga : they both are ways to learn how to take some time for yourself, practice self-love and kindness, adress stress and anxiety etc. :) - engaging in some projects that are important for you, doing things you like. Some of the ideas I wrote are also ways of interacting socially. In other words : ways to meet new people around things you have in common. It's far easier to connect with people you share interests with :) I hope that gives you some ideas, and feel free to contact me on 7cups if you're willing to talk, ok ?
October 23rd, 2018 5:41pm
Maybe you'll not believe me but I can understand u very well. I was having the same feeling, well I still have sometimes, but now less. I'm trying to think that I'm not lonely even if I sit alone at school. There are thousands people outside which I don't know and with which I can be friend. You just didn't find the right people to be with, yet. But I know you'll!! I know making new friends can be very hard, but u need to be yourself when you decide to make new friends. Try to care about them, ask them about themselves, because people like talking about themselves. Plus, sometimes all you need, to not feel lonely, is just one person. Sometimes you can feel lonely even if u're with 1000 people. But I'm sure, that once you'll find a good person, with which you'll never feel lonely. Yes and NEVER HURT YOURSELF!! I know that sometimes u can have urge to cut etc, but please, never do it. It will never helps you
October 12th, 2020 10:23pm
I've had issues making friends in elementary and high school as well. What helped me a lot was the internet - I made a bunch of friends on Twitter, and we bonded over our interests (at that time, it was YouTube and different YouTubers). Keep in mind that school doesn't have to be the only place where you make friends - you can look into joining some clubs or teams outside of school, where you will find likeminded people who you can talk to and hang out with. Or, like me, you can look for different communities online, full of people who share your interests and likes. Just always be safe about it and don't share any personal information easily.