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What can I do when I feel an urge?

19 Answers
Last Updated: 05/06/2019 at 2:38pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Halayma Khatun, M.A Theology(U.K, UAE), Diploma With Distinction in Counseling, Certification trauma abandonment


Compassionate, patient, experienced depression counselor. I use Psychodynamic counseling techniques. My counseling experience is +8 years, I counsel women.

Top Rated Answers
September 29th, 2014 8:52pm
When you feel an urge to hurt yourself, you can do something that will gave you the same release but will not harm you. For example, I find hitting a rubber band against my wrist instead of cutting myself works or exercising when I feel anxious. If you feel like you're a danger to yourself, surround yourself with friends or family. If you feel comfortable enough to tell them what you're feeling, please do so. You can overcome anything if you put your mind to it!
October 24th, 2014 9:55pm
try to move out of loneliness and the surroundings and divert the thoughts that urges you to self harm your self
November 12th, 2014 5:51pm
Put your mind on something else. Think of the consequences that may come if you go through with it. Think of how long you've got without doing it. Realize who you could be hurting if you do it. People love you, you just have to find them.
November 16th, 2014 4:26am
When you feel an urge, try to distract yourself, think of happy thoughts and don't think of anything that weill trigger you even more
December 24th, 2014 3:49pm
you should try to distract yourself! you can do this by creating something, like drawing or writing about how you feel, this is really effective and something that you can always come back to
December 29th, 2014 10:20pm
There are many resources out on the internet which list many different alternatives, however here are a few that might help: holding ice cubes to your skin, scribbling on yourself in red pen, drawing out your emotions, writing in a journal, sucking strong mints, punching a pillow, dancing to loud music, having a cold shower, making something like biscuits, paint your nails, exercise...
October 24th, 2014 7:13pm
Listen to music you like, drink something, brush your teeth, something that distract you from the feeling.
October 26th, 2014 11:59pm
If we're talking about an urge to hurt oneself, there are many options. Read, go outside, write, draw, talk to someone, all kinds of things. Even sleep if possible. The goal is to try to keep yourself from doing it.
October 29th, 2014 5:07pm
You can go do something positive to get your mind off what you are having the urge to do. Personally, I go running. Sometimes exercising helps people (like me) other times, talking to someone who cares about you helps also.
October 29th, 2014 11:53pm
You can exercise, read a favorite book, take some deep breaths, talk to a friend or relative, watch a favorite tv show, or play a game.
November 18th, 2014 9:53am
Try to distract yourself with music are art. Intellectual activities will help distract you. You could also try going for a jog, or even just go up and down the stairs three times.
- Expert in Self-Harm
January 3rd, 2015 7:49pm
First, identify what you are wanting to do and try to identify the type (or specific) emotion you are feeling. Anger? Anxiety? Sadness? Loneliness? Depersonalization? From there, you might try Distractions, Mindfulness, Challenging Cognitive Distortions, Journaling, Self-Soothing, Breathing techniques, pulling out your Coping Box... etc. A site I find very helpful for looking up and learning about coping techniques is:
April 24th, 2015 9:24pm
Looking up coping mechanisms online, or even on this site are a good way to go. Talk to people if you can, or help yourself with good habits.
May 14th, 2015 2:39am
When you feel an urge to self harm, I recommend looking at alternative methods to release that tension and buildup inside of yourself. On our Self Harm guide on 7Cups (, there is a lot of advice and useful tips to resist this urge. However, things that helped me from self harm included using an elastic bracelet or something like a rubber band on your wrist, and snap it on yourself if you have a strong urge to hurt yourself. While this can cause some pain for you, it is not nearly as severe as harming yourself. You can also try stress ball relievers and something to use as a "punching bag", like a teddy bear or a pillow. You should have a friend or someone you trust to assist you to throw away anything you can harm yourself with. Also, participating in our breathing exercises and participating in things such as meditation and yoga can help clear your mind from these thoughts. While temporary, these baby steps are key points to staying clean. Remember, we all love you here and want you to stay safe. Please remember if you are seriously harmed to contact a hospital as fast as you can.
May 20th, 2015 1:31am
let the urge be know and tell your self its just an urge and it will pass, and seek something to do to keep busy
June 12th, 2015 5:55pm
sleeping or talking to someone whocan understandu even getting yourself busy is useful as a matter of fact
September 8th, 2015 6:24pm
Distraction is key when you feel low or have these urges; paint, colour, talk to someone you trust, smile, dance, listen to music, eat yammy food, do anything you love or enjoy and remember, self soothe not self destruct!
October 17th, 2016 9:48pm
Physical activities like sports helped me release the dammed energy, get tired and with that reduce the urge. Another plus is that sports produces dopamine which makes you feel better.
May 6th, 2019 2:38pm
These 'urges' to do things we know aren't healthy or beneficial to our growth will reoccur from time to time, and it is vital we figure out what works best for us. There are many ways to go about this, and everyone has unique approaches that work for them, and I think ultimately- the greatest protection we have, is having a steady support system around us! Whether it is comprised of 7Cups Listeners you know and trust, your therapist and maybe a friend, or whoever! But nurture these relationships, just as they will, in turn, nurture you. The second most important thing, in my opinion, is recognizing what precedes these dire moments. Being aware of how our mind feels before it stacks that high, can help us alleviate some of the tension/fear/worry before it gets so far we're put into this state of mind where, we're totally panicked and feel out of control. The third thing- notice who you have around you. Whether it's your family/roommates at home, or your co-workers or boss at work, are you around positive or toxic energy? When we're surrounded by anyone consistently who constantly drains at our energy, we need to re-evaluate our circumstances. Our threshold could be constantly under attack, and so, in those moments we feel the pressure to succumb to old habits, we really should find patience for ourselves- like an aware mother with an exhausted child. These things are really just preventative measures. If you're in the heat of the moment, what helps me is: (1) getting some fresh air, (2) taking some space to myself, (3) going for a drive or walk, (4) hiding under a comfy blanket, or (5) and allowing myself the space to cry until I fall asleep. When it comes to self-harm, what helped me the most was drawing or painting on myself- w something non-permanent and non-toxic. It gives you something to fixate on, allows you to healthily alter your body and then you have something beautiful on yourself to admire.