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What do I say to people that ask about my scars without making them uncomfortable?

215 Answers
Last Updated: 10/28/2020 at 6:13pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.

Top Rated Answers
October 5th, 2016 2:29pm
"I went to war, and these are my battle scars." That's what I said when some of my friends asked me, they looked at me and nodded and didn't say anything after that.
October 6th, 2016 8:41am
You dont owe anybody an explanation for you having scars on your body. That is personal to you and unless this person is a close friend or family member its rather rude for them to ask. If you dont want to tell them the reasons for your scars just tell them ''Im not comfortable telling you that.''
October 13th, 2016 1:02pm
Subtly tell them something about it but not enough to scare them. Just be open about it and only answer the things that makes you comfortable
October 19th, 2016 8:30pm
I just tell the truth. Scars make us remember what we've been through. We should be proud of it, see that no matter those hards times we had, we were strong enough to deal with them.
October 20th, 2016 5:38am
That they're just part of a past. You don't have to answer if you're uncomfortable of course. You. It's completely up to you.
October 21st, 2016 12:24am
You can tell them how you got them (without bloody/icky details) or say talking about your scars makes you uncomfortable.
October 23rd, 2016 2:28am
"It's alright, I don't mind you asking at all. It's from a surgery I had. It was years ago, and everything turned out fine." OR "I feel a little uncomfortable talking about my scars, so I would prefer not to discuss this now. But please don't feel bad about asking, it's completely okay."
October 23rd, 2016 10:27pm
If they ask about your scars, they shouldn't feel uncomfortable. Normally scars resulting from self-harm is easy to identify.
October 28th, 2016 4:49pm
If people are asking about your scars it's unlikely they are uncomfortable with them. I think it's nice to thank someone for asking and for their concern. I also like to say that I have been through some rough times and these are my battle scars from times when I've fought with life rather than embracing it.
November 3rd, 2016 9:04am
Tell them what happened to you. You have been through a rough patch but everybody is human and everybody makes mistakes.
November 3rd, 2016 7:42pm
If you feel comfortable doing so, you can explain to them how you got your scars, or as little about it as you want. If you are uncomfortable telling anyone yet about how you got the scars, then you can simply say that you would rather not talk about it, or make up something you feel comfortable telling people. it should be about your comfort level not theirs.
November 5th, 2016 2:30pm
No need to be specific about what they are. A half-truth is better than a lie, and sometimes better than the full truth. Say that they're from a rough time you'd rather not talk about. That way, both of you feel less awkward.
November 6th, 2016 7:30pm
Honesty is the best policy even if its scars. If they are uncomfortable with them then they dont accept you for who you are
November 17th, 2016 7:00am
To an acquaintance - I have these scars because there was once a time in my life that I didn't know any other way to cope, and I'm doing much better now. To a friend - I don't feel the need to hide or lie about them because these scars remind me of how far I've come in my recovery - that my bad days are only that, bad days - and I'll get through them without self harm because I've found coping methods that help me when I'm struggling.
December 11th, 2016 4:30pm
Whatever you want to, you don't have to if you don't want to. It's your business not theirs! When people ask me I usually tell them directly that I had surgery years ago for my hands. I usually end it by saying how the scars I have show my stories in my life. However, many people may not find their scars interesting but embarrassing, in that case, be honest and say that you don't want to talk about it! Hope this helped.
December 16th, 2016 11:11am
Tell them I went through a hard time and learned to go over it. I hit a bump in the road I call life and I learned to continue my journey.
December 21st, 2016 1:07pm
First of all, your scars are proof that you have survived. There is no shame in wearing them proudly. If it is okay for you, you can simply tell them that they are scars from your past. If you don't want to talk to anyone about your past, you can simply state that they are simple scars that have healed. You are under no obligation to give people an explanation about something you, yourself feel uncomfortable.
December 24th, 2016 11:17pm
I find it useful to say that they were from a long time ago and then move the conversation a lot - often I don't have to even say anything about it, just by saying they were from a long time ago and moving the conversation on the person can pick up that it's not a topic I want to go into in detail. How much information you share is entirely up to you though - and at the end of the day, they did ask! It depends a lot on the situation, if it is a close friend you could probably be honest and say it was self harm but if it is a stranger it never hurts to make up a ridiculous story!
January 13th, 2017 3:41am
There are several things that you can say when someone asks you about your scars depending on their age. For a child, you can make up any type of story, and they are normally satisfied with it. You can say the truth with someone who would be understanding and nonjudgmental. You also have the choice of politely telling them that you would rather not talk about it. How do these ideas sound to you?
January 14th, 2017 7:14am
I think making other uncomfortable shouldn't be your biggest concern. I know, it's hard trust me a lot of times I didn't even have the guts to tell them the truth but it's possible that when I did I opened up a much deeper and intimate aspect to the relationship which ended up being very good. Be strong my dear.
January 22nd, 2017 8:29pm
Since they were the ones to ask, I wouldn't be too worried about them being uncomfortable. You could say something along the lines of "I went through a rough time" or if you just don't feel comfortable talking about it, tell them that.
February 23rd, 2017 12:16am
Try to understand that you have scars for a reason. It is up to you to reveal that information as to why you have them to others. You can simply say something as hey I really don't feel comfortable talking to you about my scars. What matters is how far I have come since the battle wounds.
February 25th, 2017 7:57pm
Just tell them how you felt in that time because that it's really important but people may be don't open-minded so, do that with people you trust.
February 25th, 2017 9:22pm
Tell them that you fought in a battle, and these are your battlescars. You are proud of them, because they remind you of who you are and what you made it through.
March 18th, 2017 8:58am
When I get scars from things like self harm, and someone sees them, I answer a few different ways. If it's something that looks like a cat scratch then I say my cat did it but if it's quite big and significant I say that's it's tricky to talk about, can we leave it for now? Most the time, the other person accepts that and understands you don't want to talk about it.
March 19th, 2017 8:42am
You can tell them anything, but people always assume... there is nothing wrong with you. They shouldn't be uncomfortable because they asked. They shouldn't say that you're dumb or stupid or anything like that. Wear your scars proudly. It's so hard to accept the beauty that you are. It's so hard to find people who understand, but the ones who are uncomfortable, don't understand. Don't keep those people in your lives. They aren't going to see you for the amazing you are. They are going to see you for your flaws... your all beautiful and amazing. Remember that
March 26th, 2017 8:36pm
Hello! Depending on the age group (young ones can be quite curious) the answer will differ. For children, you can express that it shows you were/are sad sometimes, but you're getting better, or that you're trying to get better.
April 5th, 2017 4:57am
If someone asks you about your scars, you could tell them that you were going through a rough time a while ago.
April 8th, 2017 9:14am
Well, since they asked and made you feel uncomfortable, they shouldn't expect to feel comfortable. Anyways, if it isnt obvious they are self harm scars you could make up an excuse, likw you had an accident when you were young or something. Otherwise, and if you dont like talking about your struggles, just say you've been through a hard time. You arent obliged to explain things to everyone I believe.
April 19th, 2017 8:02pm
Scars are what makes us who we are, but the thing about them is the fact that they tell a very personal and painful story, and people don't always like hearing personal stories especially of they are painful. If people ask about are scars and its people you don't know very well or someone you feel just want a juicy bit of information then tell them its a long story, one you don't feel like telling, and if its someone that you know well and know they are asking because they want to know more about you because they care, then they won't feel uncomfortable, they may get sad for you but they won't feel uncomfortable