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What do I say to people that ask about my scars without making them uncomfortable?

215 Answers
Last Updated: 10/28/2020 at 6:13pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.

Top Rated Answers
December 13th, 2017 9:39am
Tell them that they are evidence of your battles. You are not a victim, you are a survivor. In all honesty, those who ask about scars must have a reason for doing so and perhaps they too are experienced enough to know.
December 30th, 2017 6:22am
Although it can still be a little uncomfortable at times, you can simply say to people that you'd rather talk about something else. However if you do want them to know, it might be best to talk to them privately
January 24th, 2018 1:24pm
If you want to be honest, you can be honest with them. Then you can say something like "I have these scars because of ..." and explain to them why you have them and if they ask further (and you feel comfortable telling them about it) you can explain more. But if you do not feel comfortable telling them about why you have these scars, feel free to tell them "I'm sorry but I don't want to talk about it".
January 24th, 2018 11:10pm
Tell them a funny and untrue story. Make a joke out of your scars, its a little white lie so you don't make them uncomfortable.
January 31st, 2018 7:59pm
You can tell them that they are reminders that you are stronger...that you have fought with your inner demons and are still here
February 2nd, 2018 6:51am
Say that you would rather not speak about them. Hopefully the person will understand and won’t ask about them.
February 7th, 2018 10:29pm
If you aren't comfortable with talking about self harm to that person, you can just say "It's a long story"
February 11th, 2018 11:13pm
I think if people feel comfortable asking such a personal question then you really do not need to worry about your response making them uncomfortable. If you feel like you want to be open go for it but if you'd like to answer without emitting negative energy, I would say something vague like "it's a scar from awhile ago." It's really no one's business unless you want it to be.
February 17th, 2018 9:46pm
explain the situation and assure them that you are not uncomfortable about the question. Remember that your scars do not define you
February 24th, 2018 5:20am
Tell them each scar has lead to who you are today. Thats all you need to tell them, the rest isn't their business.
March 14th, 2018 1:50pm
Try to tell them that you had a rough time with many problems and that you are trying to leave the past behind you.
March 28th, 2018 12:52pm
You say " Yes I have scars but Im also alive, these scars have given me enough strength to live and to get here where I am now. Im proud of these scars because they're a part of who I am as a person."
April 7th, 2018 5:23pm
You don't always have to shy away from the truth, there are stigmas surrounding mental health but they are slowly improving. You can always say that you were ill and in a bad place but now you're better
April 15th, 2018 1:16pm
What I say about my scars is this- This happened a long time ago and I’m much better now. Sometimes children will ask if the scars hurt. I simply say no and that they are, again, from a very long time ago, and that I’m okay and nothing is wrong, and100% of the time children will move on and forget about it. Bottom line is you don’t need to go into detail. It’s your personal business and if after saying the above- if anyone is uncomfortable, then that is their problem. Not yours. And you do not have to carry the burden of anyone else’s opinion of the pain that caused you to cut.
April 15th, 2018 10:23pm
You don't even have to answer to everyone if you feel uncomfortable. If you wanted to, though, I would do it sincerely.
April 18th, 2018 5:41am
I just make some joke about it to make them laugh so that they don't get uncomfortable and that kinda change the mood and environment and if they ask again i tell them truth politely not making it big deal
April 24th, 2018 5:52pm
Sometimes there is no way to do this, however if they ask they may realise they might feel uncomfortable but want to know because they are curious or want to know more about you. The only thing I could suggest is the phrasing and maybe not going into too much detail if you feel uncomfortable.
April 26th, 2018 3:56pm
Assuming it's in regards to self injury, it depends upon your level of comfort. With young kids, I'll just say I was in an accident. With the older kids, I'll say the same thing, or if they don't believe me, I'll give a partially honest answer by saying I was hurt. With the more older and suspecting, such as adults or others with a history of self harm, I'll simply say "I've dealt with self harm, but now I am managing it better." Also, I've said, it was botched surgeries. That was to two people.
April 26th, 2018 8:50pm
eh this scars its my signature like kratos or avatar its me scars are me i am the scar thats all :D.
May 2nd, 2018 8:14pm
You can just ask if they really wanna know the truth and then decide how much you tell. It’s not your responsibility to make them feel ok with it.
May 4th, 2018 7:23pm
You keep your head up, shoulders straight, look them in the eye and say, "I've struggled with many things that put these scars here. I've struggled and survived."
May 5th, 2018 12:38pm
Say that you've had some trouble in the past but now everything is under control And tell them not to worry because you've already won this battle
May 9th, 2018 4:19pm
Try to be honest about it, and let them know to say when they are becoming uncomfortable. Calm your breathing and everything will be fine
May 9th, 2018 7:28pm
The ideal is for you to feel comfortable in yourself to either be open and honest that you've overcome some hurdles and trauma in your life, or tell them it's not something you wish to discuss, but thank you for asking. Either way, you don't have to make yourself feel uncomfortable and pressured to tell someone if you're not sure - especially if you're not sure you can trust them. If you're confident in the way you deal with this question, then they're less likely to feel uncomfortable.
May 11th, 2018 10:39pm
Say, “These are my battle scars, it shows that I went through hell, and made it back alive.”
May 17th, 2018 1:36am
I know how hard this is by experience, and especially if they are not healed yet. If they are scars always remember to say "i'm stronger now" or "i have learned how to cope now". You can always say, "i was going through a really rough time and i was not sure how to cope, but i'm better now". If that's the case, you are not lying to them and you are saying something that's beneficial to the both of you. Side note, scars show your strength!!
June 8th, 2018 2:52am
you can say that you where going through a hard time and now you are doing better and that they where a part of you life that you struggled with
June 9th, 2018 7:26pm
You can say that they were a way of coping when you were going through a particularly hard time, and that looking at them is a reminder of how far you’ve come since then
June 13th, 2018 2:38am
They are always going to feel uncomfortable. Well not necessarily uncomfortable but worried. Just say whatever you are comfortable sharing.
June 13th, 2018 7:05pm
Well, it depends on the situation and how much you trust the person asking you about your scars. If you're in a public place where you can be easily heard by strangers around you, you can simply say that an accident occurred. If you don't quite trust the person with telling them about what really happened or you are in an environment that makes you feel uncomfortable, you can express your discomfort and that you would prefer discussing it another time. If you are in a private area where no one else can hear you, and you really trust the person, you can ask them if they feel comfortable discussing self-harm issues before you proceed.